Quote from: Gina Taylor on December 29, 2013, 11:41:49 AM

I remember reading about Chales Kane in another tabloid and figuring that it's kind of whacky to be turned into a woman and then turned back into a man but that wasn't exactly made up. Because it really did happen.

Why is that story whacky, because the tabloid said so? The boy in the toilets story has urban myth written all over it.

I don't have dysphoria. I'm transgender because I say I am. My decision to transition is simply pragmatic. I think it can make me happier, benefit > cost, so I did.

Gender Dysphoria?  Yes, I had it.  Bad.  So bad I almost drove my truck off a bridge into the water on Thanksgiving.  I didn't want to admit it to myself but GD was the cause of my severe depression.
I got myself in to see a GT the first week in December.  The therapist knew right off what was going on with me.  That's when I heard the term "Gender Dysphoria".
Approx. 50 years of denial about who I truly was.  That sort of behavior can eat a person alive from the inside.  So, here I am, age 59, and I start HRT on Jan 6th.     

Quote from: Jenna Stannis on December 29, 2013, 02:56:05 PM
Why is that story whacky, because the tabloid said so? The boy in the toilets story has urban myth written all over it.

Sorry Jenna, 'Whacky' was just one of my words. I just found it a little strange that a man would change himself into a woman and then change herself back to a man a bit odd. 

Severe dysphoria in MTF transgender is also a function of gross Testosterone levels, IMHO. I had moderate to severe dysphoria as a teen... then, I got fat in college and learned to cope with it (too bad I didn't cope with transition the options were there, but more limited in the 90s). Fat reduces testosterone significantly. I was Obese (cat I, so just over the line into clinical obesity). Obesity has been shown to drop T by up to half. I personally don't think I'm a high-T person, either... though I will find out soon (bloodwork comes in any day now). I coped for 15-20 years until my coping mechanisms failed. Now I am transitioning.

If you're moderately transgender (by brain configuration) and increase your hormone imbalance (take more T, for a MTF), you will become more dysphoric. I've seen accounts (no actual studies, sorry) of a number of people who've tried to "fix" the problem that way and have had significantly worse reactions to their condition because of it.

The question you need to answer for yourself is if you're coping and will see that fail someday (IMO, you *will* see most coping mechanisms fail... I don't think coping through dysphoria usually lasts - though I am projecting on that point), or if you just don't have dysphoria. If the latter, you will need to decide if you can live as the "wrong" gender or if you want to consider transition anyway. (If you don't see your birth assigned gender as the "wrong" gender, you're probably on the trans* spectrum, but not transsexual).

Those aren't easy questions. A gender specializing therapist is a requirement to work through these issues quickly (for most people and in most cases), but you must make sure you find a good one! I worked through my issues on my own, but again... that took 15-20 years (I am 35). (Now I see a therapist as someone nice to talk to about social and family problems during transition, but little more than that).

You know, I've often felt guilty that I'm not "transy" enough. Or that because I can actually enjoy myself on most days that I'm "doing it wrong" or something, seeing as I'm still in the early stages of transitioning (I think? Starting HRT in January). I mean, on most days before coming out, I didn't actively consider my gender. I was too busy playing videogames and watching anime & movies, so now that I have I feel like someone is shaking there head at me if I'm not consciously thinking about trans business all the time.

Although this thread makes me feel better...

I can relate to so many things in this post so thought I might weigh in on how I got to where I am.

I never really felt much gender dysphoria. As a child yes I used to wish I was a boy and hate that I was a girl. I used to pull on my privates several times a day thinking that I could make something grow if I did it enough. As I neared puberty and began to grow breasts I used to use one hand pulling on my privates while the other hand pressed on the breast tissue trying to get them to stop growing. I would only sleep on my stomach in hopes that would stunt the growth somehow. As time went on I began to accept I was a female even though I wished I wasnt. I spent most of my life as a tom boy, hating dresses and anything "girly" but to me that seemed like everything related to my sex was normal childhood and puberty. As the years went by I said that the difference between a transgender and me is that they felt they were a different sex, I only wished I was. I told myself that for many years and just dealt with the hand I was dealt.

That all changed after watching the movie Boys Don't Cry. I had repeated dreams (among other things) of being a male and the fear of people around me "catching me" for still having female body parts. I felt I could live with being a female but still in my 30s wished I wasnt so I started doing research. I read about different GIDs including bi-gender and I started to wonder if I was bi-gender or transgender which I was on the fence about for a long time. Then I looked at it from a different perspective, similar to what one person said in this thread is "what do I need to do for myself next".  I didnt hate my female body, I just wished I was born differently. So after speaking with counselors it was determined HRT was a step I really did want to take. Was I transgendered or bi-gender? Nobody knew including me but once I stopped putting a label on it and looking any person with GID may go through and seeing them as all individual steps and not all many steps necessarily leading up to the same end goal, things got much easier to handle.

I'm an recovering addict and alcoholic as well so this compares to the mentality of "one day at a time". I dont need to make the comittment to be sober for my entire life, just for today. So if I think of this as "one step at a time", I dont need to make the comittment for SRS before I take the first step of speaking with a counselor. I just need to see what the individual steps are available and decide if I want to proceed with any of them and if so, take just that one step first and figure out if there will be another one later.

Quote from: KabitTarah on December 30, 2013, 11:02:22 AM
If you're moderately transgender (by brain configuration) and increase your hormone imbalance (take more T, for a MTF), you will become more dysphoric. I've seen accounts (no actual studies, sorry) of a number of people who've tried to "fix" the problem that way and have had significantly worse reactions to their condition because of it.

I tried to lose weight and get into strength training.  Wound up more dysphoric than ever before

Quote from: Gina Taylor on December 30, 2013, 09:29:00 AM
Sorry Jenna, 'Whacky' was just one of my words. I just found it a little strange that a man would change himself into a woman and then change herself back to a man a bit odd. 

Yes, I know that's what you meant.

Quote from: Ms Grace on December 28, 2013, 06:48:04 PM
Jenna, certainly you can deny, or not accept, that you are trans gendered. I know I did that too. You may have some gender identity issues, sounds like it but again that is for you to decide. Having a gender identity issue doesn't make you trans gendered. I guess the point others are making is that the degree to which those gender identity issues cause you to seek expressing yourself as another gender, and the degree to which you feel ("accept") that it is a path you want and/or need to explore/take then that is the point one may be trans gendered. Or not. It really is a personal thing which is probably why is seems like such a circular discussion.

I'm not so sure about that, as statistics seem to show that there's not much choice involved (and that's even before considering supposed biological causes). For example, I've had several formal transgender diagnoses, I acknowledge and accept those diagnoses, but I have chosen not to pursue that path. So while I accept the psychiatrists' diagnoses as sound, I don't accept the finality of those diagnoses and have decided not to transition. However, I also recognise that according to a majority of studies and case histories, I'm fighting a losing battle and will either gradually transition (to some degree) or, if I resist transition, suffer any number of adverse mental health conditions. At the very least I will lead an unhappy life as a male.

Regarding your point about "gender issues" not necessarily being symptoms of GID, could you please illustrate your point with an example, one that is pertinent to someone who's had a drive to be female since the age of 7.

Quote from: overdrive on December 30, 2013, 12:45:30 PM
I can relate to so many things in this post so thought I might weigh in on how I got to where I am.

I never really felt much gender dysphoria. As a child yes I used to wish I was a boy and hate that I was a girl. I used to pull on my privates several times a day thinking that I could make something grow if I did it enough. As I neared puberty and began to grow breasts I used to use one hand pulling on my privates while the other hand pressed on the breast tissue trying to get them to stop growing. I would only sleep on my stomach in hopes that would stunt the growth somehow. As time went on I began to accept I was a female even though I wished I wasnt. I spent most of my life as a tom boy, hating dresses and anything "girly" but to me that seemed like everything related to my sex was normal childhood and puberty. As the years went by I said that the difference between a transgender and me is that they felt they were a different sex, I only wished I was. I told myself that for many years and just dealt with the hand I was dealt.

That all changed after watching the movie Boys Don't Cry. I had repeated dreams (among other things) of being a male and the fear of people around me "catching me" for still having female body parts. I felt I could live with being a female but still in my 30s wished I wasnt so I started doing research. I read about different GIDs including bi-gender and I started to wonder if I was bi-gender or transgender which I was on the fence about for a long time. Then I looked at it from a different perspective, similar to what one person said in this thread is "what do I need to do for myself next".  I didnt hate my female body, I just wished I was born differently. So after speaking with counselors it was determined HRT was a step I really did want to take. Was I transgendered or bi-gender? Nobody knew including me but once I stopped putting a label on it and looking any person with GID may go through and seeing them as all individual steps and not all many steps necessarily leading up to the same end goal, things got much easier to handle.

I'm an recovering addict and alcoholic as well so this compares to the mentality of "one day at a time". I dont need to make the comittment to be sober for my entire life, just for today. So if I think of this as "one step at a time", I dont need to make the comittment for SRS before I take the first step of speaking with a counselor. I just need to see what the individual steps are available and decide if I want to proceed with any of them and if so, take just that one step first and figure out if there will be another one later.

I can relate to so much of what you wrote here, except wishing I was a girl, not a guy.  I don't completely  hate my male bits, sometimes I dislike them a moderate amount, but that being said, I still wish I had a female body.  I'm hoping that after I move at end of January and get settled into my new city, I can try to find a gender therapist to try to get some guidance with figuring myself out a bit more and see where that path  leads me.

Quote from: Jenna Stannis on December 30, 2013, 02:33:17 PM
I'm not so sure about that, as statistics seem to show that there's not much choice involved (and that's even before considering supposed biological causes). For example, I've had several formal transgender diagnoses, I acknowledge and accept those diagnoses, but I have chosen not to pursue that path. So while I accept the psychiatrists' diagnoses as sound, I don't accept the finality of those diagnoses and have decided not to transition. However, I also recognise that according to a majority of studies and case histories, I'm fighting a losing battle and will either gradually transition (to some degree) or, if I resist transition, suffer any number of adverse mental health conditions. At the very least I will lead an unhappy life as a male.

I can certainly attest to your conclusion of "leading an unhappy life". Pretty much how I sum up the last few decades. Even though an outsider can easily point to all the great things I accomplished, it all meant nothing. I did not follow the accepted treatment route (today's standard. The 1970's was a far different world). I relied on my 3D's, Distractions, Diversions, and Denial, to get by.

I'm not 100% sure how much dysphoria I have at present, but for as long as I can remember, I've known that something was off inside and outside of me. Something that SophiePeters said was very similar to me. I have a poor sense of hygiene, partly because of a complete lack of sense of smell but also because I just can't be bothered to maintain this body as it is. I also dislike my appearance. I can't stand my own reflection so I avoid it at all costs. Whenever I look at my reflection, the face looking back at me doesn't look right for some reason. I like being around people for the most part, but I often feel uncomfortable in my own skin.

I'm currently considered to be obese, so like others have said, testosterone levels might be lower, but then again, I've felt this way for as long as I can remember and I know I haven't always been overweight or obese, so that can't really be the answer to my problems. I'm also experiencing depression, partly because I've been out of work for so long, but I don't always feel that being out of work is enough to make me have suicidal feelings from time to time. I know something is wrong inside me and it's more than just me being slightly obese and unemployed. Besides, my way of thinking is that there is much more to life than working in a job. At this time, I'd rather do more charity work than continue looking for paid work. For one thing, it would be far less stressful.

I use to feel the exact same way as a matter of fact I made a post very similar to this one a few months back. for me I think about several things in order to ....validte my belief that im transgender.

1. If I woke up one day and I was completely female (ovaries and all  ) would I be happy? The answer is ABSOLUTLY. That sounds pretty trans right there

2. Let say you take the proper steps toward understanding your feelings, if you come to the conclusion that you arn't trans no harm no foul at least you know (pre hrt).

3. Go as far as you need in order feel comfortable, if that mean a dress and prancing around your room okay. If that means presenting part time thats fine too.