So, I hear stories about coming out at work, my questions are a bit different. (At least from what I've read so far) Have you or do you know of stories (true ones) where you/someone else came out at work, asked to be treated like a woman or a man and asked/said you'd be using this restroom, name etc. and for everyone to refer to you as who you really are (name he, she etc.) but instead, they didn't do it? Also, do they have to do it? I mean if they didn't, but let's say no harassment etc. happened (As in everything was the same, they still treated you the way they did before you came out) but you'd told them who you really are and it hurts you to be treated the way (gender they thought you were) they were treating you (gender wise) then isn't that a form of harassment or something that could stand up in court? Lastly, after speaking to certain people, I've come to realize nothing I say or do will get them to treat me the way I wish to be treated, this is more so the case when it involves religion and even after explaining how they aren't being respectful to me too. (I said it all comes down to respect and not belief) So my question here is this, could someone you work with come up with the (sorry) excuse that because of their belief/religion they can't/won't call/treat you the way you wish to be treated or even use the whole freedom speech (USA) to do the same thing and as a result, the bosses/court will side with them instead of with the person whose being hurt and treated differently?

Freedom of speech is not protected in workplaces.  Misgendering I think is technically harassment, depending on the state/country, correct me if I'm wrong.

I know everyone is different, but for me its kinda, Ive been treated like that against my will for years and hurt by it (with no outlet and acceptance from ANYONE for who I am), the refusal of others cooperate just gives me a bit more of a litmus to who they really are.  The love and acceptance I get now for who I am totally outweighs the obstinate refusal Ive encountered so far.  Admittedly, Ive had little experience so far but I will try to carry this way of thinking forward.  No idea how to deal with naysayers, but being rejected by some far outweighs the darkness of being accepted by all.  As far as how far you can go to legally force people into 'respect' Im not sure...

It all depends greatly on the HR policies in place and the laws you live under.

In the USA, you can't be denied a job or fired from a place of employment because of transitioning but the rest is up for grabs. That said, you could possibly have a civil case if the harassment goes on for a long time and isn't addressed by management under emotional distress damages but IANAL.

Sorry, deleted my reply as I have realised I misunderstood your post. My apologies.

Quote from: Shana-chan on January 03, 2014, 12:50:47 PM
So my question here is this, could someone you work with come up with the (sorry) excuse that because of their belief/religion they can't/won't call/treat you the way you wish to be treated or even use the whole freedom speech (USA) to do the same thing and as a result, the bosses/court will side with them instead of with the person whose being hurt and treated differently?

In the USA, there are laws that require employers to make sure their employees don't encounter a "hostile work environment". The behaviors you suggest would definitely fall in this category. An employer could be liable for a lot of money in damages if they fail to keep the workplace from being hostile.

Quote from: suzifrommd on January 04, 2014, 08:50:20 AM
In the USA, there are laws that require employers to make sure their employees don't encounter a "hostile work environment". The behaviors you suggest would definitely fall in this category. An employer could be liable for a lot of money in damages if they fail to keep the workplace from being hostile.

Thank you everyone and especially thank you suzi! If the above is the case (which does make sense) then that's very good to know. Again, thank you so much!

Shana, can you say if you mean "coming out" as just telling people you are trans* or actually transitioning? If you mean the former and are still presenting at work as male then I guess people are likely to get confused, if you mean the latter and are presenting full time at work as female then they have no excuse.

Quote from: Ms Grace on January 04, 2014, 03:32:43 PM
Shana, can you say if you mean "coming out" as just telling people you are trans* or actually transitioning? If you mean the former and are still presenting at work as male then I guess people are likely to get confused, if you mean the latter and are presenting full time at work as female then they have no excuse.

Ah yes, guess I wasn't clear on that, sorry about that. I meant coming out and telling them we'll be presenting as the gender we say we are at work on XX date. On the matter of "transitioning." Not everyone can afford to have surgeries/procedures done but still wish to be themselves and be treated as the gender they say they are while at work. So if by "transitioning" you simply mean just being ourselves, no surgeries/procedures happening/being done then yes I was referring to that kind of transitioning, since we just want to be ourselves after all but if you meant the one where it's like that last one but we also tell them we already are or will be having stuff done (Surgery etc.) then yes I was also referring to that too.