Susan Griffin's The Eros of Everyday Life: Essays on Ecology, Gender, and Society.
Like all of Griffin's work, this book has a hard to pin down quality to it - not unlike poetry, which makes sense as she also composes in this genre. The gender theme comes and goes through the writing, when it arises, though, she offers some fascinating insights. Typically these run along the lines of how our ideas about gender impose structure that is ofttimes not appropriate.
At one juncture she offers this wonderful and thought provoking passage:
"Though it is the nature of mind to create and delineate forms, and though forms are never perfectly consonant with reality, still there is a crucial difference between a form which closes off experience and a form which evokes and opens it...The effect that a deadening form has on a human life is more complex if only because a living, complex being still exists beneath any assumed identity, hiding behind and yet contradicting and rebelling against the mask."