Quote from: izzy on January 05, 2014, 04:30:18 PM
But I need to move through and I feel like I cant delay transitioning because of them. In some respects, I feel like everyone has their motives and own opinions. I generally feel that they think how i feel is trivial.

BINGO--especially the part I underlined.

Are you familiar with a book called "Toxic Parents" by Susan Forward? If not, you should. You should also looking into narcissism, especially in parents. I learned so much about me, my mother, and my family dynamics. It might help. Our mothers sound very similar.

Good luck--I know it's not easy. I lived with my mom for about a year while I was underemployed. It was a horrible year, but I don't think I'd be transitioning now if it had not been for the strength I gained during that time.

Jane

PS. I am not out to her yet and I'm not sure how she'll react, but I am at the point that I don't care. I know that sounds harsh, but that's the reality of the situation.

Izzy,

I totally know what it's like to love family and want to be there for them.  You are a good child for that and you have my respect.  However, you really can't let family hold you back.  I know it's rich coming from me, but you can't let them define who you are and control you.  The fact is it's your home and your life.  This is something your mother has no control over at the end of the day.  I too know what it's like to live in a controlling environment and know how much approval from others can mean, but with this mindset you are letting others have to much say over your own life.  Don't let not having validation from family destroy your dreams. While I really can't tell you how to proceed (there are way too many factors involved, and this is a subject I haven't solved for myself) I do hope you consider your own happiness and well being before you come to any conclusive decision.  While family is important, so are you.  Maybe there is a way to balance everything, but that's a decision you'll have to make.  At the end of the day, this is a complex situation and only you can know for sure what's right, so take everything I say with a grain of salt.  I just hope you realize that you have the right to be happy and live for yourself.  Good luck with everything, and I really hope it all works out.