I just got back from my first appointment with a doctor, after seeing a few nurses. I knew it would take a few appointments to get a t scrip, but this is just ridiculous. After waiting a month for this appointment, the damn thing lasted about ten minutes, during which all we did was go over the assessment I did at my first appointment at this clinic. Which wasn't any fun, either -I'm not particularly keen on talking about really personal things with a complete stranger, let alone being asked the same things by three different strangers now.

I know I'm pretty lucky in the grand scheme of things. But I'm getting really sick of trying to convince a bunch of cis people that I'm trans enough for treatment. Last time, the nurse asked me what sort of behaviors I had that were 'male' - aren't we supposed to be past that kind of gender essentialism?! Now I have to convince this doctor who doesn't know me that I'm serious enough about transitioning, as if people do this just for fun - including that my life is 'stable' enough to handle it. Of course my life isn't stable! I'll lose my job when I come out, my family will probably disown me - you know, the stuff that generally comes with being trans - and none of it will get any better until somebody from Upon High decides  to give a ->-bleeped-<-. Support groups aren't going to get me a new job - passing will.

At this point, I'm lying to my doctor and telling her the things I know she wants to hear to speed up the process. The same old trans narrative like a bloody Oprah special. Aren't these people supposed to be helping?!

Hey man, I know it can be tough. I came from the same place and know how much it sucks but you have to understand why they are doing this. From the looks of things you haven't socially transitioned yet, which is impossible for some people before hormones (they may get attacked on the street etc.) but is something healthcare providers like to see before changing your body irreversibly. It may look like using the word "irreversibly" is a bit over the top but some of the changes are permanent and if you decided you didn't want to transition after a few months on T and they hadn't made sure you were absolutely certain with your decision you could sue their asses off (risk to future fertility, you weren't competent at the time because of mental health/personal issues etc.).

They have to ask you why you consider yourself male, that is part of being transgender (although I admit they could use more respectful language). I think everyone agrees nobody transitions for "fun" but it is possible for someone to falsly think they are transgender if they have other mental health issues.

I am not trying to make light of your problems here, I just think it is worth saying that it is a doctor's professional duty to make sure they are not giving out inappropriate treatments. This unfortunately means some delays are to be expected trying to get on hormones. If you have been waiting for more than 6 months or so your frustration is completely understandable and I think this is a problem with your service providers, but for standard "trans" waiting times that is just the way it is.

Just remember, before long all this awful waiting will be a thing of the past and you can get on with your life as you were always meant to live it.