A week or so ago someone on Tumblr had a picture of a beautiful Little Mermaid music box that plays "Part of Your World." Knowing how much Keaira loves The Little Mermaid, I placed an order and got what I now presume to be an automatic email saying thank you. Well, a week passed and no word about charging for payment or shipping, so I dug deeper and it turns out the box is no longer in circulation. You can only get on it on ebay for like $350. I was so excited about it. </3 I wanted to get her a special birthday gift. Now I have to find something equally as pretty and nice within a week.

This is it underneath. I am so gutted, the impression really was that they were still available. If I were rich I'd buy it for her.

So my period is on.  That's always lovely.

Being sent a self appraisal form by my manager !
How can I possibly justify my performance at work over the last two years ,
All the time off ....etc...
I cried most of the day when I realised how useless I was ,

Be honest in your self-appraisal.

What are your strengths?  Communication?  Knowledge?  Skills?

Where do you have room for improvement?  Can further training help?

When I was managing, up to as many as 125 people, with nearly a dozen subordinate supervisors, these are the sorts of things I looked at in evaluations.

I finally cowgirled up, spent some time getting ready, took some pictures to post here and my camera won't download them. I really must be hideous, I broke the camera!

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on January 08, 2014, 01:15:21 AM
I finally cowgirled up, spent some time getting ready, took some pictures to post here and my camera won't download them. I really must be hideous, I broke the camera!

You have to use a photo hosting site like Photobucket or Imgur

Quote from: V M on January 08, 2014, 01:28:34 AM
You have to use a photo hosting site like Photobucket or Imgur

You don't get it, the CAMERA (whole cell phone) actually broke!  Dead, kaput, expired. Looks like I was right, shouldn't have tried it. Told you I was thirty miles of death valley fire trail. This kind of proves it, I mean, it was working before! 

Quote from: Nickkirobs on January 07, 2014, 09:46:54 PM
Being sent a self appraisal form by my manager !
How can I possibly justify my performance at work over the last two years ,
All the time off ....etc...
I cried most of the day when I realised how useless I was ,

Jamie has it right. Don't try to justify yourself and don't deprecate yourself. If you believe your useless, management won't argue with you, if you think you are good at somethings but would like to improve on others, management sees you as trying to succeed personally and career wise. The other don't is act like you have totally achieved your best. Everyone needs improvement on something to grow and accept change.

Thank you both got you kind replies ,
But honestly , I would sack me !
I " came out " to my manager and HR dept about 14 months ago ,
And went full time on July 1st 2013 .
I have struggled with the emotions of this and been on antidepressants for  a short period,
Had weeks and weeks off work ,
which involves visiting customers sites , most of whom knew my previous incarnation.
My voice is terrible over the phone , so still always get responded to as male !
How many times a day do I get Nick over the phone rather than correct name of Nicola ,
I have given up correcting them!
There are days when I struggle to get out the house , or even bed ,
I have had weeks off work ,
and all the salient points that my appraisal measures, I fall down on ,
KPI's , key performance indices ,
Then these are used to decide what percentage of the annual pay rise each individual should recieve ,
Money stopped motivating me along time ago , other things are far more important ,
Hey I am in the wrong body for Christ sake !
It's taken me lots of counselling and money to get my self esteem out of the gutter ,
And one e-mail has made me evaluate me , and work wise I can not think of any redeeming feature !
xxxxxxxxx

I'm sorry to hear all that, Nicola. I would be extremely depressed in your situation too, but try not to let that cloud your vision of yourself and your work. Sure, maybe you're not as on the ball as you think you should be, but it doesn't mean you're terrible and have no good to show for your work. If you were that bad, they'd have canned you by now.

I've talked about the same sort of thing with my brother. I told him once that I felt bad about applying for jobs, because I felt like I haven't worked hard enough or achieved as much as I should have with my time. I was thinking about the people who just did it all lol - joined all the clubs, knew all the people, just did everything and had full schedules. He said "maybe you didn't do a ton of extra activities, but think of where you started, and how you felt - you had to put in way more than anyone else to get to where you are now, you just don't see it because you started off with an extra set of challenges to overcome."

My employer was bought last year and as of this January we're fully integrated into the parent company's HR structure. It seems that passive aggression and peer pressure will now be standard performance motivators.

I have a pretty good headache going...

and... snow. It was unexpected. It's the worst kind of snow, too.

I woke up and got a video recommendation on YouTube...it was a documentary on trans kids. There was a younger trans girl and she was talking to Barbara Walters about her pet snake. The Barbara asked about school and stuff (basically getting on the topic of gender) and at one point, the little girl just went completely silent and began to cry.

It broke my heart. I've been there, just at the edge of puberty and dealing with trans issues. I took my shower and cried a little. If only others coudl realize that this is so rarely just a case of "fun self-expression" and it's something people deal with on a lifelong basis.

Have to revert to guy mode for a little while to shower.

Quote from: caleb. on January 10, 2014, 06:41:22 AM
I woke up and got a video recommendation on YouTube...it was a documentary on trans kids. There was a younger trans girl and she was talking to Barbara Walters about her pet snake. The Barbara asked about school and stuff (basically getting on the topic of gender) and at one point, the little girl just went completely silent and began to cry.

It broke my heart. I've been there, just at the edge of puberty and dealing with trans issues. I took my shower and cried a little. If only others coudl realize that this is so rarely just a case of "fun self-expression" and it's something people deal with on a lifelong basis.

I wanted to respond to this, all I could think of is (the poor child,) it leaves me with a hollow feeling in my guts just thinking of it.

I need to vacate my place before the end of february. My one year contract ends at that time, and the landord only wants to do extended renting periods, which are a problem to me since I soon will be unemployed and this can't be pair with government aid (not even sure if I can access it).

There was the possibility of turning the place into a shared flat, but they want to put a leash on me to force me to stay for more than a year and recover the costs... "The costs of moving their furniture and buying crappy Ikea Furninture". Heck, I could buy my own bed.


So I am looking for places to live cheap enough to help me save money for job interview trips. But major problems are the reactions of "Girls only" shared flats when I even have my old name. I haven't been caught on the phone, but I am worried. I could bring the shrink's letter certifying my condition, but...

Sir hasn't responded to me in a while..

My father won't talk to me over whatsapp and insists on using old SMS because he does not even want to see my face and be reminded that I have changed.


And they ask me why I suffer from anxiety, stress and depression?

Quote from: Shantel on January 10, 2014, 09:26:26 AM
I wanted to respond to this, all I could think of is (the poor child,) it leaves me with a hollow feeling in my guts just thinking of it.

Yeah, it just hit me so hard when I saw that. I wonder if many people understand that her reaction really tells it all, in terms of how it is for us.