ive been seeing a lot of profile pics that make me think 'oh i wonder why a cis woman is posting here' and then i read the post and its a holy hell! moment for me. my biggest concern for transition is passing. so i know that a lot of people are loathe to answer specifics but any answers as to the specifics of what you went through to pass or what your un-needed concerns were regarding passing before you transitioned are really incredibly appreciated.

My personal opinion is that this can be very age dependent. Many of the young women have had FFS and voice etc and it has worked wonderfully for many.

Many older women live lives where are already well known so passing can be more problematic . That said many have also had incredible results from FFS.

For me confidence is still a major factor, that said many women have gained confidence from their procedures that they lacked before.

Voice is often raised as a major issue and both training and surgery can help there.

Hormones can have dramatic results and I think removal of facial hair is very important.

Quote from: nonameyet on January 12, 2014, 12:11:17 AM
ive been seeing a lot of profile pics that make me think 'oh i wonder why a cis woman is posting here' and then i read the post and its a holy hell! moment for me. my biggest concern for transition is passing. so i know that a lot of people are loathe to answer specifics but any answers as to the specifics of what you went through to pass or what your un-needed concerns were regarding passing before you transitioned are really incredibly appreciated.

Avatar images are not necessarily of the member.  Images posted in the topics most often are.

Biggest thing for has been ignoring if I think I pass and trusting when others say I'm passing. And make-up, definitely make-up....

Confidence, calmness, ignoring the inner critic... plus wearing a wig, that really helps me at the moment!!

My worse enemy was my money and wardrobe, along with my voice, I am a naturally angry person or should I say negative. so it made it hard to find a feminine voice.  Networking and friends helped me slowly put a wardrobe together, and as for my voice, it was a combination of being alil happier after going full time, To pull off a femine voice I had to adopt a southern accent. It made it alot easier for me.  But the bane of my transition was facial hair, voice, and wardrobe. Look wise I got lucky but that fell under the age card.

A few good pointers


Dress your age, look what other woman your age wear
Dress to the occasion.. again this is looking what other woman wear.. A woman does not dress up everyday with lots of make up and look like she ready for the red carpet.
Learn to walk in heels.. I have seen cis-girls struggling to walk in a pair of heels.. but if you learn.. you will more naturally fit in. When woman walk in heels, they put there feet in front of each other as they walk (almost like they walking on a tight rope).. this will give you hips a natural sway.. but don't sway too much and stepping.. its heel first and then the rest of the foot lands.. unless you are walking up stairs.
Confidence - tell yourself I can do this..

Mannerism -  Act like a woman.. little thing.. cross you legs when you sit. watch how woman act.. how they relate to each other..


in closing. you learn a lot by watching other woman...they how little girls learn. so can we

I also recommend growing your hair.. this is a big help in passing, then do your hair in a female style

Quote from: noleen111 on January 12, 2014, 01:27:30 AM
A few good pointers


Dress your age, look what other woman your age wear
Dress to the occasion.. again this is looking what other woman wear.. A woman does not dress up everyday with lots of make up and look like she ready for the red carpet.
Learn to walk in heels.. I have seen cis-girls struggling to walk in a pair of heels.. but if you learn.. you will more naturally fit in. When woman walk in heels, they put there feet in front of each as they walk (almost like they walking on a tight rope).. this will give you hips a natural sway.. but don't sway too much and stepping.. its heel first and then the rest of the foot lands.. unless you are walking up stairs.
Confidence - tell yourself I can do this..

Mannerism -  Act like a woman.. little thing.. cross you legs when you sit. watch how woman act.. how they relate to each other..


in closing. you learn a lot by watching other woman...they how little girls learn. so can we

I also recommend growing your hair.. this is a big help in passing, then do your hair in a female style

This.

I have often advocated just sitting in a shopping mall and watching how people interact. You will learn more in an hour than a year of winging it.

Quote from: noleen111 on January 12, 2014, 01:27:30 AM
Mannerism -  Act like a woman.. little thing.. cross you legs when you sit. watch how woman act.. how they relate to each other..

I was watching two women talking while we were all waiting to collect our orders in the food court yesterday. They were both quite animated and maintained eye contact with each other just about the entire time they were talking. That's something you don't see many men doing when talking to men, but a lot of women do whether talking to men or women.

It is interesting that always the self esteem is much worser than the sight from outside.
I will have my FFS in March because I am quite sure never to pass without.

Lara (avatar is not photoshopped)

I know this is hard to view but a lot of the things your worried about fall in place with your progression in transition. It is kind of funny when I look back at the beginning of transition and remember similar thoughts but I just stepped into the process and surprise it all came together.

a lot of it can be pure luck.  You never know what hormones will do for you till they do their job.  Surgeries help some.  I never had ffs or voice surgery, and I'm pretty happy with how I turned out, but some girls are just plain unfortunate in that department....I don't mean that to be rude to anyone, just an often unmentioned and taboo fact.

  Facial hair removal/reduction is a big one.  Also, trying too hard is the biggest impediment to passing.  Moving less rigidly and more fluidly helps too