Using the answers from Nero's post https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,16806.0.html, I wanted to see which ones androgynes felt in their individual lives.

This poll isnt meant to judge the right or wrong of each obstacle rather to see what ones are more common, for future writing matters. I think they are all obstacles, big and small,  to different people, since thats the reason why they are listed. So I do respect all of these as all equal obstacles in the spirit of overcoming and facing them down.

KK




^{edit - fixed typo in topic title for clarity - Nero}

great poll KK!

I checked something like 16 out of 23 LOL. I'd say that the biggest challenges for me regarding androgyny are;

16) The fact that transition may start, but it never really ends

Ain't that the truth! It's never over, every day is something new... coming out again, figuring out some other aspect of what it means to androgyne in this world

1) You generally have to pick a "binary" pronoun and identity for use in the workplace

Not just for the workplace, but the world at large also requires adherence to the binary. Even if one tells people that they're neither, other people tend to pick a pronoun and identity (usually birth gender) for us... they see what they want to see, not what we see.

17)  Because SRS is generally not something most androgynes seek, (would different plumbing really change how I feel about myself?), it can be hard to explain why one may want to look like the opposite sex yet not be.

I don't desire SRS, however I'd be quite happy to do HRT to develop secondary characteristics if there weren't any long term health risks involved. I'd still consider myself to be neither gender, or other.

14.) One I have heard more than once is something like "Am I a transsexual that hasn't decided to transition, nor felt the full urge."
and
15) Being told by "real" transsexuals and "real" transgendered people that androgyne is a "cop-out" gender identity for people who want the best of both worlds.  That it's the "easy way out."  Bull.

Although people have occasionally said things like that to me, another aspect is the self doubt that I go through regarding this. Sometimes I wonder, am I just fooling myself? Am I really TS and would be happier to just get on with it and transition all the way?

I could probably comment about every choice I made, but that's enough for now.

Zythyra

Quote from: zythyra on August 02, 2007, 07:09:19 AM
Although people have occasionally said things like that to me, another aspect is the self doubt that I go through regarding this. Sometimes I wonder, am I just fooling myself? Am I really TS and would be happier to just get on with it and transition all the way?

Yes, that's the big one for me too, especially as I really would prefer a female body. While I'm getting more and more confident that I want to remain an idiosyncratic mix of gender traits, the doubts are still there -- I suppose they will never go away completely. The same doubts plague my wife as well, nowadays worse than me, but hopefully things will settle down eventually.

This uncertainty is related to the other big one:
10) Figuring out who and what you are.  There are very few easily available resources for androgynes and it's hard to even find the word unless you know it first.

At least for me it was much easier to self-diagnose as transsexual; it was only when the label didn't quite fit that I considered androgyny as an alternative. If information had been more easily available I might have saved some time and stress. Then again, figuring out things on your own is suposed to be a much more effective way to learn...

  Nfr

Yeah number 10 I did check because I found out I was an anydrogyne just by chance because I was just playing around on the internet.

I did check number 22 too because I can be man's man when talking about sports. I have been questioned during the past few years. I'll give you the following examples: people say well a woman would agree with you about that issue or I thought you were a woman(that happened on a message board once.)

Hi,

   I checked 14 of the options.

   I think it is a good idea to poll a topic that has been discussed because you can shake out a wider range of specific issues.

   I still need time to really think about all of this.  Thanks for the poll.


Rebis

   

I ticked a lot of the ones about being lost in yerself, that there is no path to follow so you´ve got to get your machete and start hacking. I also checked the ones about feeling lonely because you can´t quite connect in a certain significant way with others.

I couldn´t give a stuff about what TSs think, and there is no point telling people until there is something to tell.

Though the whole ´being thought gay´thing is annoying. As is the fact that I´m not all that sure if I am or not. ¿How can an androgyne be gay?

(Hasta La Vista PP)

I found this poll interesting, as it's brought up a few of things I haven't really thought about yet of things I'm going to run into at some point, as well as things that I've been very nervous about and wondering whether or not I'm just being paranoid.

One thing I do fear running into is the eternal joy of Heathrow Airport, or more to the point, passports, as someone who travels a lot. When all is said done, at the end of the day you do have to "pick a side" after all when it comes to travel, just as much as the workplace, I suppose?

I wouldn't mind if it weren't for the fact that every time I go through any airport, no matter how obscure the place, I get stopped every time. I think I must now be on first name terms with just about every security worker in the whole of Terminal 3.

"Hey John"
"Hiya Krys!"
"The usual?"
"Yeah, spread em and let's get on with it, anything in your hand luggage?"
"Just the usual alarm clock for wake up call, hand soap and old phone cord, oh, and some spare batteries for the MP3... Dunno why I get stopped every single time..."
"Can't imagine, my friend!"

I checked... 13 options... o.O.. Alas! Le omen!

Reording the list from most common obstacle to more unique obstacles, as of voting Mon, Aug 05. For tie votes I just put it in order of how it was listed on the original. I also restored any portions cute off by the limit of space in the poll questions.

QuoteCommon Obstacles One Faces as an Androgyne

1.) Figuring out who and what you are.  There are very few easily available resources for androgynes and it's hard to even find the word unless you know it first.  I came across it by chance.  12 (7.5%)
2.) The path is not laid down in a set path. The way varies from person to person. The results will be different for each individual. The manner may be very different. The definitions may be unique and individual, as well as less defined. The means may be from simple to complex. From a simple realization that one is already there, to a complex body, social, and community (even religious) life changing experience.  11 (6.9%)
3.) You generally have to pick a "binary" pronoun and identity for use in the workplace.  10 (6.3%)
4.) Androgyny isn't a well-known term, and therefore when/if you do want to explain your gender-identity you will need at least an hour after which the most popular reply you will gain is "I don't get it..."  10 (6.3%)
5.) One can fluxuate in their gender identity. Which may range from acceptable and expected to confusion and alarm.  10 (6.3%)
6.) Knowing that you can either "pick one" or be totally open with everyone--there is never any going stealth or just being yourself without any questions.  9 (5.7%)
7) Lack of ability to associate with other genders, and not even fully with other Androgynes (due to the individualistic natures) which can lead to a sense of 'loneliness'.  9 (5.7%)
8.)  Seeing things that the binaries do not, such as 'gender games' between the binaries.  i don't know about you others, but I always want to kick these people in the groin.  It is so irritating, but I guess it is their nature for the women to pretend to be 'helpless' and the males pretend to lose their stupid pool games on purpose for the sole reason of buying the drinks.  GGGRRRrrrrrrr  aaaaaahhhhhhggggggg!  9 (5.7%)
9.)  The fact that transition may start, but it never really ends.  There is no finish line.  You never make it through transition, it is an on-going thing.  8 (5%)
10.) Orientation can become a difficult concept to consider. Rather the whole idea of orientation might be thrown out the window, or simplified to an individual basis.  8 (5%)
11.) understanding what being androgyne actually means is the hardest part, a transsexual can say they are the other sex and even if the extent of this identification or the trouble with deciding on what they will do about it, they know what it means to be male/female. it's harder to understand what it means to be androgyne. 7 (4.4%)
12.) In what information that one does find, one must stay grounded in the true self inner voice. Its true of everything, but a few have written posts about getting lost or feeling lost.  7 (4.4%)
13.) One I have heard more than once is something like "Am I a transsexual that hasnt decided to transition, nor felt the full urge. And am I just holding on the the last threads of my unwanted gender. Or do I embrace both or reject both."  7 (4.4%)
14.)  Because SRS is generally not something most androgynes seek, (would different plumbing really change how I feel about myself?), it can be hard to explain why one may want to look like the opposite sex yet not be.  "Oh yeah, zie looks like a girl but still has hir winky." 7 (4.4%)
15.) If you require surgical or hormonal alteration, you generally have to pay high for black market type stuff or lie like an sob and pretend to be ftm or mtf.  Unless you only figured out the androgyne thing after beginning treatments, that is.  There are some like that. 6 (3.8%)
15.2) There is no null-hormone.  4 (2.5%)
16.) Trying to understand those that limit their gender behavior to just one polar. After experiencing unlimited gender behavior and expressions, only focusing on one is unthinkable to me. Its more like "why?"  5 (3.1%)
17.) Being told by "real" transsexuals and "real" transgendered people that androgyne is a "cop-out" gender identity for people who want the best of both worlds.  That it's the "easy way out."  Bull.  5 (3.1%)
18.) Based on my personal experience; my family-member simply 'brushed it off' when I told her I was Androgyne, and didn't believe it was significant or affecting my life. Thus, I could say; being Androgyne may (on occasion) be seen as an unproblematic gender identity (if even viewed as such).  4 (2.5%)
19.)  Your guy friends don't believe you when tell them that even though you look and act feminine, that you are not gay.  4 (2.5%)
20) Even if you allow yourself to have mixed gender identity (s) in the public or among friends/family, if you focus on one for certain situations, then you get a reverse judgement. Instead of amazing them with mixed gender, they wonder why you are focusing on one and why its not mixed constantly.  3 (1.9%)
21) When your guy friends decide you're hot, then when you tell them "Look, I'm not a girl, I'm gonna change aspects of myself" they start saying "YOU TURNED ME GAY!!"  So, I guess summed up?  The fact that people show hostility to you for "challenging their sexuality." 3 (1.9%)
22.) The strange argument I've encountered on some message boards where male-bodied androgynes claim that females cannot be androgyne.  1 (0.6%)