I know that this will sound like I am making a joke, but I am not, so bear with me.
Have a talk with your parent or parents. Make it one if possible, the one that caters to you the most first. Every child is favored by one parent or the other.
Don't be specific in how you present what is distressing you. List all of the things that are bothering you, like you are leading up to something. Now here is the part I will get in trouble for with some people. If you hint enough, they will assume you are leading up an announcement that you are gay or lesbian. This might severely distress them in some cases, especially in families that are more the church going type.
Finally, relate to them that you don't feel like you are gay or lesbian, but more that you feel like your body is wrong. As a queer that came out long ago, and with friends that have come out as gay, lesbian, Bi, or trans, I can attest that in my experience, coming out as BI or Trans is much less stressful for most parents than a child that is gay or lesbian.
I'm not saying it would be a walk in the park. But, I have found that most parents are worried about the survival of their child and how that child fits into the mainstream. A trans-identified child has more potential for fitting in because they tend to identify as heterosexual, which is the dominant culture.
The toughest cases I have seen are kids that come out to their parents as cross-gendered, but also gay or lesbian. That seems to create a disconnect that a lot of parents cannot come to grips with.
At least you were not born IS. An IS child is a constant reminder to their parent that they "messed up" in some way. Much more so than parents of gays and lesbians. Mothers especially have a guilt trip about it.
Mainly, just be honest with your parent when you come out. Don't try to justify yourself. Don't make stuff up. Just present yourself and allow them to come back to you when they are ready if it bothers them. You have to be patient, because in the coming out process, the child often switches places with the parent. You have to be unconditionally loving and supportive, because you may trigger some deep homophobia or other fear within them. Sometimes, you may have to go it alone for a while until they come back to you.
I helped a family of a young gal that was very religious and struggling with her transition request. Normally I wouldn't have gotten involved, but my therapist asked me to help as a personal favor to her, and we were tight. It took time, but not only did they come to accept her, they eventually paid for her surgery. And, yes, she was heterosexually-identified which made it easier to accomodate their religious beliefs. I like to think that after meeting me, they were so relieved that she was not a lesbian that anything looked good in comparison. LOL!!!
So good luck to you. Coming out stories are experiences that link us across time and affiliation.
