Here's some things people IRL have said to me:
--Oh, those aren't women's pants, you'll pass just fine in them! Just try them on!
--He didn't flip you the bird and shout a slur at you, you're just being paranoid.
--No I didn't call you "she" when I was on the phone, you misheard me through the door, I'd never do that.
--Lip gloss and a mood ring is a perfectly acceptable gift for a 20 year old guy to get from someone he doesn't know very well, none of your cousins would be offended or perplexed if I gave them a present like that.
--What does it matter if you're outed or don't pass, you're not in that much danger, don't be dramatic, people are more accepting and you're not at any risk of getting beaten or killed in this part of the country. (A.N. That's a real whopper--heck, it's not even that safe in San Francisco, let alone NE Ohio where if you don't have a beer in your hand you may as well be wearing a dress.)
--Nobody will think you're gay or female if you [insert extremely feminine mannerism here], they'll just think you're well-mannered.
--Everybody considers it rude to [insert masculine mannerism here], and that's why people are offended by you.
--Oh, no sweetie, I try to wrangle 20something men into conversations about makeup and knitting and clothes and spa days all the time and it's not awkward at all.
--No, you pass, they're not giving you the stink eye, she didn't just refer to us as "ladies," you can't tell if you're not passing, that's impossible because you pass perfectly, you're paranoid. (Said to me back when I clearly didn't, and knew I didn't.)
--You don't/shouldn't need to do all those [insert things requiring effort here] to pass, can't you just relax, it's not necessary. (Said when I figured out that I clearly DID have to if I wanted to pass, started doing them, and started being very insistent on doing them.)
--You never did [insert behavior of mine that they don't like here] before, you're just doing it to preserve your macho pride! F%#$ your macho pride!
--Men never get criticized for being too quiet or indecisive in this society, nobody sees being meek and adorably vacillating as shamefully unmanly around here...you're turning into such a sexist.
My conclusion is that I'm surrounded by alien spies in human form, because they talk as though they're on another planet. Or I could've been heavily gaslighted about gender stuff since day 1 of transition, that's also a distinct possibility, yeah.
