Hello everybody. I'm new here so I figured it would be a swell idea to introduce myself.
I'm sure everyone here has had experience growing up feeling they just didn't fit in, and
in my case it is the same way. About two weeks ago I had a breakdown while out with my friends
(who are all girls). The stress of not being able to feel like one of them became too much for me.

I'm am physically female, and my friends have always just called me a pretty butch. Well, after
my breakdown, one of my closest friends decided I needed someone to vent to. So I did.

We realized it wasn't as simple as "you're gay" or "you're a tomboy". Because in truth, I didn't feel
I was either. Of course it was hard to explain. Two days later I got online and my friend sent me a
link, saying that it might just be what I have been looking for.

So after a lot of reading and researching, I found this forum. I have never found another person
who felt like I did. Maybe now I have a place where I won't feel so alone.

Hi Koishii,

Quote from: Koishii on August 05, 2007, 02:36:36 PM
I'm sure everyone here has had experience growing up feeling they just didn't fit in, and
in my case it is the same way.

Yes maybe most of us have felt that way, especially as androgynes and our unique identities.

Quote from: Koishii
We realized it wasn't as simple as "you're gay" or "you're a tomboy". Because in truth, I didn't feel
I was either. Of course it was hard to explain. Two days later I got online and my friend sent me a
link, saying that it might just be what I have been looking for.

So after a lot of reading and researching, I found this forum. I have never found another person
who felt like I did. Maybe now I have a place where I won't feel so alone.

One good thing about androgyne, is it has such a broad meaning. Not just one type of person, rather multi spheres. Allows you to put your own spin on your own self.

One thing that still bothers me is my own sexual orientation. It really doesn't seem to make
sense, even to me. I can love both guys and girls, but that doesn't mean I feel as though
I have a lot more options. I actually feel like I have less of a choice. Have you ever felt like that before?

Hey there, I'm newish too. 

Sounds like you have some really good friends. 

Being bisexual might limit who is willing to be with you, as well as your physical sex anatomy, your gender identity, and all the other factors.

Attraction in a relationship is a limiting thing. It entails not only whom you are attracted to, but who your potential partner is attracted to.

And I think there are many factors included that make up an attraction. Appearance, physical features, behavior, personality, intelligence, culture, anatomy, social spheres, hobbies and interests, allure, and chemistry. I think from what I have experienced psychological gender, gender roles, gender behavior, and even physical sex genitalia can influence your potential partner. Even one's own orientation can affect it.

So I can see how being bisexual can limit how many choices you have. I know everything about myself and my potential partner limits how attractive and compatible we are. And add in one's identity and how one feels about oneself and it can complicate things more.

Ken/Kendra/KK

Quote from: Koishii on August 05, 2007, 02:36:36 PM

We realized it wasn't as simple as "you're gay" or "you're a tomboy". Because in truth, I didn't feel
I was either. Of course it was hard to explain. Two days later I got online and my friend sent me a
link, saying that it might just be what I have been looking for.

So after a lot of reading and researching, I found this forum. I have never found another person
who felt like I did. Maybe now I have a place where I won't feel so alone.

Céad mile fáilte romhat.
Welcome Koihii. No you are not alone. Here you might meet others who feel or felt like you. Here you should be able to express yourself honestly and your own diversity be respected without judgement or assumption. So good luck on your voyage of self-discovery, self-acceptence and self-realisation.
Go n-éirí do bhóthar leat

Hope, Light, Love & Respect.

Maebh

PS. Of course you should check and familiarise yourself with the rules of this site, they all make good sense.

You may always feel alone. Here´s hoping you feel alone in good company.

Hi Koishii!  Welcome to Susan's.

Be sure to check out the FAQ at the beginning of this section and a stroll though the Wiki never hurts either.  Finding WHO we are is a life-long journey...finding WHAT we are can be a little easier (just keep in mind that things change and tommorw's answer to either of these questions may not be the same as today's).

Most of us have felt out of place, alone and like we just didn't fit in with our friends when it came to how we felt about ourselves.  Our friends never questioned whether they were male or female gendered...never really ever thought about it...but we did.  Am I male?  Am I female?  Both??? Neither? 

What helped my understanding the most was when I understood that gender, sex and orientation are three different things.  Gender is how you feel, sex is what is between your legs, and orientation really only applies if your gender is male or female.  If you live somewhere in the middle of the gender spectrum, Gay, Straight and Bi don't really have a lot of meaning.

So, once again, welcome.  Read a lot, ask a lot of questions, comment where you want, and, when you feel up to it, share yourself.  You will be hard pressed to find a better group of people anywhere, than the ones you will find here...they are family.

......Laurry

Welcome Koishii

Yes, I've been there too. It's a journey, sometimes difficult and sometimes joyful, to discover who we are, so many possibilities on the continuum of gender and sexuality.

Zythyra

Quote from: Koishii on August 05, 2007, 02:36:36 PM
I have never found another person who felt like I did. Maybe now I have a place where I won't feel so alone.

No, you will, but knowing others do too helps. 

Most of us have been through something similar (or are still dealing with it). The specifics are different, but that's really a good thing, as talking about someone else's problems may give new insight into how to deal with your own. So, yes, quite a few of us are alike in this respect, but we are all individuals.

Quote
Brian: No, no. Please. Please, please listen. I've got one or two things to say.
The Crowd: Tell us! Tell us both of them!
Brian: Look, you've got it all wrong! You don't need to follow me, you don't need to follow anybody! You've got to think for yourselves! You're all individuals!
The Crowd: Yes! We're all individuals!
Brian: You're all different!
The Crowd: Yes, we ARE all different!
Man in Crowd: I'm not...
The Crowd: Shhh!
Brian: You've all got to work it out for yourselves.
The Crowd: Yes, we've got to work it out for ourselves!

Remember this when dealing with the gender question. It will help. 

Welcome!

  Nfr

Also remember that what you are looking for my be either a sacred shoe or a sacred gourd...and that no-one is to throw anything until I blow this whistle, even if, and I want to make this absolutely clear, even if they do say Jehova.

I thought Id chime-in,....yah,Ive felt so confused due to my screwy hormones,body issues,and ambiguous/to female mind that Ive almost wanted to abandon trying to find a mate...Im attracted to men ,women, certain TG &TS...and it varies all the time.... 
Its true for me that Im most attracted to other androgynous and intersexual people.
I seek those who can understand who/what Iam and can relate to same life problems.
I just cant see myself dating a heterosexual person or a single orientationed person.
So,its caused me a lot of worry about trying to decide *who* to please or attract.
I just dont know most of the time,its like a near continual indecision.
I sometimes get so down that I think that no one will be attracted to me,because I think im a freak sometimes.
I guess most of you arent as extreme as this.Id would hope that most of you are more well adjusted.   
 

Quote from: Pica Pica on August 06, 2007, 05:36:14 AM
You may always feel alone. Here´s hoping you feel alone in good company.

Well done.

I felt the same way when I was younger. I think we all have. You are very lucky to have friends that understand your pain, or at least are willing to find a way to help ease it.