Wednesday I had dinner with my ex.  I had asked her out to catch up on things but also to help her with a financial burden.  She is still part of the family and I wanted to help bail her out.

She picked a restaurant Sandy and I have been to several times.  When I made the date I doubted I'd have time to change after work so I told my ex she'd be dining with Jim.  She never said it but I think she was comforted by that.  I got home earlier than expected and had time to change.  I really wanted to be me but since I told her I wouldn't I felt it important I keep my word.

But I couldn't go total guy (if there is such a thing anymore).  So I put on a bit of makeup (blush and a touch of mascara), girl shorts, guy Hawaiian shirt and deck shoes.  I also had CZ studs in my ears but my hair mostly hid them.  I felt most people would see me as more a surfer boy than anything else.

As soon as we walked in the host said "Good evening ladies".  My ex didn't flinch.  We were seated and the waiter walked up and said, "Hello ladies.  Would you care for something to drink?"  My ex didn't flinch, again.  Then all through the meal the waiter and the bus boys all referred to us as ladies.  It was weird.  Maybe they recognized me and were just being courteous.  Probably.  So I kind of blew it off.

The next day I went out for lunch.  I was with two guys from work.  It was one of those places you stand in line to order, wait for your order to be called then find someplace to sit.  I walked up to the order-taker and she said, "May I help you ma'am?"  I looked around and found, to my relief, the guys from work had already ordered and didn't hear that.

Today I had to run an errand at lunch and stopped at McDonald's on the way back to the job.  When I pulled up to the window to pay the guy says, "Welcome to McDonald's ma'am..." 

Suddenly it's beginning to hit me.  Maybe I look more female than male.  I don't see it but it seems I am in a minority.  Now I'm wondering what people at work think.  Not that it matters.  I know they are loving what I'm doing and my job isn't in jeopardy.  But I am curious.

All my life I've told myself this could never happen.  I was too masculine.  If I ever tried to pass as a woman I'd get read in a heartbeat, most likely laughed at.  But I go out all the time and even though I'm looking for it, I don't see the funny faces, the sidelong looks, I expected.  It's kind of dream-like.

Yeah, it's weird.  But it's the kind of weird I hope to get used to.

Julie

So are you bagging or complaining??

Glad to see you write, I have been missing you.

That's wonderful Julie! You've reached the Promised Land

I hope you remembered to leave a trail of bread crumbs for those that wish to follow?

~Kate~

Oh it so good to hear from you again Julie I have missed your postings.
And such good news too.  It must be great to be called ma'am no-matter how you dress. I can only dream of such a thing.
Jillieann

We can't ever anticipate the unknown. We often think things won't ever happen. Jsut becasue we think it does not make it true though.

It is good to see people break the barriers of their own mind and progress forward. Congrats and I look forward to more wonderful news from you

Well Julie,

After seeing "both sides" of you, I am not a bit surprised.  You can run but you cannot hide. 

It is indeed the kind of weird you will get used to.

Congrats!

Kristi

Now that's a good kind of weird!!

I guess once we stop looking for something, it sneaks up from behind and taps us gently on the shoulder.

I think you look feminine and beautiful, so I'm not surprised.

Quote from: Julie Marie on June 01, 2007, 08:00:36 PM

All my life I've told myself this could never happen.  I was too masculine.  If I ever tried to pass as a woman I'd get read in a heartbeat, most likely laughed at.  But I go out all the time and even though I'm looking for it, I don't see the funny faces, the sidelong looks, I expected.  It's kind of dream-like.

I too keep looking for this and don't see it. I go out with my wife and friends, even having a bit if stubble(blond/gray), we get the ladies treatment. So I, like you Julie, am beginning to believe.

Hugs,

Rhonda

Julie, how thrilling it must be!! You look every bit feminine.
The Best-
-Barb

Julie......

It's my weekend today and the next 2 days.  Marcy and I just got back from dinner out.
"Hello ladies!".
Wonderful feeling, eh?
Then, on the way home, we stopped at a large service station/convenience store for gas.  Now....this is what I call weird.....
over the speaker at my pump, the guy inside starts singing loudly, "you are so beautiful, to me.....", in the most God-awful voice.  Marcy laughed, and teased me all the way home.
Ick!
Read my lips, gas guy:  Julie is happy, Bev is gay!
LOL...
Enjoy yourself, Julie!

Bev

I know the feeling of being taken for a woman when in guy mode.  It actually happened about an hour ago.  I was walking on my way to CVS for some duct tape (you can never have enough duct tape).  And granted it was dark, but still I don't wear makeup and have taken no steps at all toward transition.  Anyway, as I pass him, he shouts to his buddies a while back "I thought that was a woman!"  Of course there was no one else around so I wondered if he meant me, so I turned to look at him.  He shouts "Yeah, you're no woman!" 

I had to laugh.  Although it did feel somewhat good to be seen as a girl, even though I wasn't trying to be at all.

good for you im happy for you maybe ill be there some day


                                                               gween

I am just starting on this road but I have started realizing just how much I act like my mom.  My wife says I act like a girl a lot and I don't even try.  It was very encouraging to have my wife tell me that I act like a woman.  I am just being my self and it comes out.  Hopefully I can make as much progress physically as I have with my mannerisms.

~Vanessa