The whole secret of existence is to have no fear

-Gautama Buddha

Quote from: Oriah on January 18, 2014, 02:17:30 PM
The whole secret of existence is to have no fear

-Gautama Buddha

Kia Ora Oriah,

Sadhguru explanation of what fear is, also sits well with Buddhists...



Metta Zenda

I would have to say that right now my biggest fear involves the possibility that I will not be able to transition is more weight on an unbearable burden when depression hits.
Also today I have been thinking about how disappointed my friends and family will be in me and how selfish I am in possibly having to put them through that.

My biggest fear is simple, fear of the unknown. Funny for me to say it since I have made so many changes in my life, done so many things others wouldn't dare to think about. Yet, not knowing that I looked over the situation from every conceivable angle and came up with a solution that will work, or just not blow up in my face, scares me. My double edged sword since I am a damn good engineer thanks to those mental chess games.

As far as transitioning... the same fear. Will I be happier? Will I wind up better off? Will the potential and real costs be compensated by the greater joy I feel presenting as the real me?

The double edged sword of greater self-acceptance.

Quote from: White Rabbit on January 18, 2014, 02:56:05 PM
I would have to say that right now my biggest fear involves the possibility that I will not be able to transition is more weight on an unbearable burden when depression hits.
Also today I have been thinking about how disappointed my friends and family will be in me and how selfish I am in possibly having to put them through that.

Kia Ora WR,

Have you weighed up the odds of the impact of what not going with your natural flow will have on you ?

Remember your family and friends may be somewhat disappointed, but they will still be able to get on with their lives...In other words their world's not going to come crumbling down all around them...They will get over the initial shock, and in time some may find it in their hearts to accept you...

The future is still unfolding and the unknown become known as it gradually unfolds (and not beforehand)...

Metta Zenda  

Not being able to afford surgery for sure.

I'm afraid most of mine have already been realised, so there isn't a whole lot left for me to be afraid of.

The things I fear now aren't for myself, but for others. Those whose lives are so precious and waiting to be lived, yet so delicate and precariously balanced. I fear for their future, yet hope for it at the same time. It's an odd feeling.

Not having enough money to transition... sadly a real possibility.

My son rejecting me.

Quote from: Gwynne on January 20, 2014, 11:02:07 PM
My son rejecting me.

I'm so terribly sorry about that, I wish there was something I could do.

Quote from: Sarah Rose on January 20, 2014, 11:07:19 PM
I'm so terribly sorry about that, I wish there was something I could do.

He loves me, but I worry he'll always blame me.

"If not for transgender, perhaps I could have had a normal life" 

Quote from: Gwynne on January 20, 2014, 11:10:04 PM
He loves me, but I worry he'll always blame me.

"If not for transgender, perhaps I could have had a normal life" 

Kia Ora Gwynne,

I'm not sure of your family situation.... but just so long as nobody poison's his mind, things should work out ok.

Metta Zenda

Fear of a slow miserable death or fear of just slowly wasting away. I also have a fear of never being able to find love.

These fears are more general related and could be associated with anyone trans or not.

1. Biggest fear.  Being attacked and raped . I have had nightmares 3 seperate time that led to me waking up screaming and crying. The first time was the worst, during that time me and my ex were going to drag shows and I dreamed that a certain drag queen forced herself on me and well ..... the next night we went to the show and I was being very shy for obvious reasons and I dont know how it happened but the exact drag queen had actually forced me against the wall in the club and my ex ended up ripping her off of me and threatened to kick her ass. We left and didn't come back for quite a bit after.

2. To be in a wreck so bad it worsens my current health condition

3. My current health problems getting so bad I cant walk or drive

turning Buddhists! 

Right now, I have 3 big, BIG fears that are causing me to be completely useless at work!

1) The fear that actually, I'm not trans, and instead I'm just a guy who has no idea who he wants to be, or what he wants from life.
2) The fear that 1) may be right, and I'm stuck being 'me' forever.
3) The fear that if/once I do manage to admit it to myself, that I need to take the next step and tell someone.

Quote from: ConfusedHumanUK on January 22, 2014, 04:17:59 PM
Right now, I have 3 big, BIG fears that are causing me to be completely useless at work!

1) The fear that actually, I'm not trans, and instead I'm just a guy who has no idea who he wants to be, or what he wants from life.
2) The fear that 1) may be right, and I'm stuck being 'me' forever.
3) The fear that if/once I do manage to admit it to myself, that I need to take the next step and tell someone.

Sounds like you already need to talk to someone about it. I have talked to 2 people about it so far, one was college advisor and the other an online gaming friend who I never met face to face even, and both came out ok as far as I know. Talking about it in a way makes me feel more and more Mtf.

Oh and my biggest concern, and probably only concern is not passing. I'm afraid I'll be able to pass lookwise but never talk wise. That's the one thing that makes me not want to continue on this journey.

My greatest fears about my transition is that I'll never really pass, will never be able to afford surgery, that I'll get beaten up for being gay, and that I'll never love myself.

My greatest fears about non trans related things is that I'll be stuck in the purgatory of dead-end forever and never reach any of my goals.

You know I have all the normal fears. Not passing when the time comes. Being made fun of. Or being outed when I'm convinced I'd pass. Etc..... And I am sure I have already been made fun of. Lol. You can feel it even if you don't see it. Or at least I can. But the only thing I actually care about is my wife. With out her in my life I am only half the woman I am or could be. Sounds silly, but she does complete me.

Quote from: ConfusedHumanUK on January 22, 2014, 04:17:59 PM
Right now, I have 3 big, BIG fears that are causing me to be completely useless at work!

1) The fear that actually, I'm not trans, and instead I'm just a guy who has no idea who he wants to be, or what he wants from life.
2) The fear that 1) may be right, and I'm stuck being 'me' forever.

Being an obsessive person , I want not to loose what I discovered about myself so far .
So the first 2 are the biggest 2 fears in life ,even at this very moment , and I don't know if I should think of them or relax .
The more I try think about , the more it seems that I might not be what I feel/want .
It sounds crazy , but then so am I .
Like 4 years ago I had a nervous depression , or at least that  was the diagnostic , but I perceived it as an awful fear , biggest fear you can imagine , of getting mad /dementia . I heard some others people had it too , some committed suicide .
Anyway , that was also an obsession , a fear not to loose my mind which I valued the most.
And although I had some anti-depressant drugs for a while , the most helpful treatment was my psychiatrist telling me : ' Ignore the sickness , and the sickness will ignore you" . After I used that advice and I stopped analyzing myself so much , I felt much better.

Another fear is that I will never pass , that being connected with the idea that if i don't have a real female brain I will never get the feminine  style .