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Facial dysphoria?

Started by iamconfused, January 21, 2014, 05:20:20 PM

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iamconfused

I always see trans people that get dysphoric from their bodies, but i have a problem with my whole reflection.. my face causes a lot of dysphoria for me. my face is very feminine.. i have baby fat on my cheeks and dark freckles all over my face, my lips are feminine, my eyes, my nose, etc. i seem to get more dysphoric about my face because i know that even if i get a binder or a packer i will never pass with the way that my face looks until I get on T. i'm dysphoric about my parts too but i don't break down and cry over them or anything.. i can look at them in the mirror(with disgust) but i don't want to touch them or do anything with them. does anyone else feel this way?
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FalseHybridPrincess

Of course...

I mean when you imagine yourself you first think of the face...its  one of the things that define who you are...
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suzifrommd

Quote from: iamconfused on January 21, 2014, 05:20:20 PM
does anyone else feel this way?

Yes, in reverse though. Unless I have my wig on, I see a man when I look at my face. It's a real struggle for me to consider myself a woman when I look like THAT.

Hang in there. It'll all dude up when the T comes to town.
Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
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Zambie

Quote from: suzifrommd on January 21, 2014, 05:36:18 PM
Yes, in reverse though. Unless I have my wig on, I see a man when I look at my face. It's a real struggle for me to consider myself a woman when I look like THAT.

Hang in there. It'll all dude up when the T comes to town.

And I'm the reverse of this, I'm okay with my face until my hair gets too long and I start seeing a girl in the mirror, then I have to get it cut. I'm also very particular about which way my hair is parted. Always on the left. Always.
Like a zombie only dumber.
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Adam (birkin)

I have about as much dysphoria about my face as I do about my chest and whatnot. I do pass, but I don't see how. I look in the mirror and I'm like "that looks like a woman." It sucks because I can hide my chest and stuff, but not my face.
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Lauren5

Quote from: caleb. on January 22, 2014, 01:40:00 AMI have about as much dysphoria about my face as I do about my chest and whatnot. I do pass, but I don't see how. I look in the mirror and I'm like "that looks like a woman." It sucks because I can hide my chest and stuff, but not my face.
This, in reverse. I can pad my chest, but no amount of makeup can change the fact that I have a masculine facial bone structure.

No surgeon will operate for free just because I'm at an extreme risk of suicide over my face. It just isn't done.
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Full time: 12/12/13
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Aina

I have never really had to much "disgust" about my own body. (I am rather small framed for a guy so it is ideal for mtf...)

Yet I found when I see pictures of me I do get disturbed by them, I find myself saying "is that really me?" and feel like I am not a very attractive looking person.

Yet in the mirror I feel like I look different look better.

Then of course there is the whole well I wish I had a female body and face..
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Stella Stanhope

Yes, definitely! That's me to a tee iamconfused, except the opposite way round! :p

QuoteI have never really had to much "disgust" about my own body. (I am rather small framed for a guy so it is ideal for mtf...)

This also applies to me very much. In fact for me, the whole unusual combination of having a pronounced masculine face perched on top of a slender and petite body, causes not only confusion for myself, but also seems to annoy people as well. Its been this way increasingly since puberty, and means I'm essentially the worst of both worlds - laughed at as being weak and feminine bodied, but without the prettiness in the face to gain any perks. I'm like the androgynous model Andrej Pejic...but the opposite way 'round, as his body is quite masculine and his face is very feminine. I'd rather have a pretty face and a more masculinised body, as it doesn't matter that if I could wear a size 6 dress with a passing figure, if my face looks like Daniel Dafoe (or Gollum when I stumble out the shower with wet hair).

So, yep, ever since 13 when I dreamt I had a feminine face and when I awoke I felt that the dream had felt right, I've hated having a masculine face, as its blunt, sunken but with useless chunky bits, its plain and makes the worst of my good bone structure and large eyes. Right now, my face is like a well-made and delicate chair that's been draped in a mouldy old thick carpet with bristly hair, then beaten to mishapen it and ugly chunky armrests added, just for good measure.    :)    I smile, and joke about it, but, ultimately it increasingly angers me. I'm fed up with it all, and the issues this all causes.

I could go on and on about my face, tbh. Its a massive case of dysphoria for me. Blaaaaaaaah. Squrrels.

So question for everyone, when did you realise that your face did not "fit" your identity, and how did that feeling manifest itself?
There are no more barriers to cross... But even after admitting this, there is no catharsis... I gain no deeper knowledge of myself. No new knowledge can be extracted from my telling. This confession has meant nothing.

When you find yourself hopelessly stuck between the floors of gender - you make yourself at home in the lift.
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Cindy

One blessing transmen have is the incredible masculinisation of their face when on T. There are heaps of guys on the site who are just stunning gorgeous guys. The masculinization of a feminine looking face invariably produces a very handsome man.

Don't worry too much. The fat goes, you will get the chiseled lines, have a hairy face and be a handsome man.

And then the cougars here will be chasing you >:-)
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Stella Stanhope

QuoteOne blessing transmen have is the incredible masculinisation of their face when on T. There are heaps of guys on the site who are just stunning gorgeous guys. The masculinization of a feminine looking face invariably produces a very handsome man.

That is very true, regarding the first part! The human body for males' and females' overall trajectory through life, is towards masculinsation for various biological reasons, so technically FTM's are going in the "right direction", whilst we MTF's are trying to pull backwards to the female form, which is both feminine and therefore also neotenized (youthful).

As for the last bit of that statement, I was a very girly looking boy before puberty, and I've turned into Gollum not Brad Pitt. Oh, genes and genetics! You're such jokers! 
There are no more barriers to cross... But even after admitting this, there is no catharsis... I gain no deeper knowledge of myself. No new knowledge can be extracted from my telling. This confession has meant nothing.

When you find yourself hopelessly stuck between the floors of gender - you make yourself at home in the lift.
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Nero

Quote from: "I'm Stella Stanhope, and that's why I drink". on January 23, 2014, 04:56:34 AM

As for the last bit of that statement, I was a very girly looking boy before puberty, and I've turned into Gollum not Brad Pitt. Oh, genes and genetics! You're such jokers!

Me too, only the opposite. Everybody kept telling me what a handsome guy I would be. Nope, didn't happen.  :laugh:
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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Calder Smith

Yes, I do. I have very feminine looking eyes and eyebrows. Most of my dysphoria though is about my chest and below.
Manchester United diehard fan.
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Jessica Merriman

Quote from: Cindy on January 23, 2014, 04:43:55 AM
And then the cougars here will be chasing you >:-)
And they are lining up good to go!*giggle* ;D
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Cindy

Quote from: FA on January 23, 2014, 07:52:42 AM
Me too, only the opposite. Everybody kept telling me what a handsome guy I would be. Nope, didn't happen.  :laugh:

You forget, I have seen you! You are one hell of a handsome man!
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Hikari

The face in many ways is more bothersome than anything else, I don't have a particularlly masculine face I suppose, but it doesn't scream female to me, and after puberty It didn't feel like my face. I know that sounds a bit crazy, but it is one of the reasons I don't have any second thoughts about FFS at all, if I can every get the money.

I mean my body, and genitals bother me, sure; but they seem kinda like a private struggle; but I can't keep my face private, I can't tuck it away, or pad it up. Though I have posted pictures of myself face included online (I even believe there are a few on this site still if someone cares to actually search my posts), perhaps it is telling that I choose not to use my face in my normal avatar.
15 years on Susans, where has all the time gone?
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Jessica Merriman

Quote from: Cindy on January 23, 2014, 09:00:51 AM
You forget, I have seen you! You are one hell of a handsome man!
Really? Can't you make him post it Cindy or he is afraid of cougars?*giggle* ;D
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Cindy

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on January 23, 2014, 10:23:21 AM
Really? Can't you make him post it Cindy or he is afraid of cougars?*giggle* ;D

With you on the prowl!!
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Calder Smith

Quote from: Cindy on January 23, 2014, 04:43:55 AM
One blessing transmen have is the incredible masculinisation of their face when on T. There are heaps of guys on the site who are just stunning gorgeous guys. The masculinization of a feminine looking face invariably produces a very handsome man.

Don't worry too much. The fat goes, you will get the chiseled lines, have a hairy face and be a handsome man.

And then the cougars here will be chasing you >:-)

Ladies.. I'm free to be chased. 8)
Manchester United diehard fan.
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