Yes I know what you mean Grace. I think it is due to the pain and swelling

I'm suffering from future related anxiety since I opened my eyes this morning.

I'm making calculations again, and even if in a year I could save for minor FFS to do at the same time as SRS, I missed a factor in the equation:

Emergency savings / Plan B: I needed 5.000€ to add rhinoplasty and trach shave to the surgery shopping cart, but before doing that I'd need to save that amount for as emergency savings again. If I threw everything into SRS and FFS, I risk not having money for home appliances breaking, unexpected issues or even having to come back to thailand for a revision in case surgery does not go well.

Since I can't risk being an adult and not having an economic cushion, looks like in the end I may delay FFS for more time. Despite being told than it would be more beneficial than SRS for me, being able to say: "I can do SRS anytime" it's too good to and reassuring, even if it means living with more passability issues.

My mom came home early....and now she wants to put my new bed in....-sigh-

I was looking foward to her staying at work all day too....

For some reason, the fact that my friend took something nice I said to her and twisted it to assume I meant something more intimate than friendships still makes me feel very uncomfortable. And by very uncomfortable, I mean thoroughly disgusted and angry. Maybe it's one of my triggers? I keep thinking about times when people assumed I was interested in them and didn't respect the fact that I wasn't. Except I know she's not going to do anything like that. So why is it bugging me so much?

Quote from: Willow on January 24, 2014, 01:27:13 PM
If she eats men, then what does she do with women?

Floss

Woke up to find out an internet reviewer/producer I am a fan of passed away a couple of days ago, even though I did not know them in person it still has hit me hard.

I also feel bad that I am shaken by the loss of someone I have never met and yet when I lose a family member(especially one I am close to) I do not always feel anything.

Quote from: Charley Bea(EmeraldP) on January 26, 2014, 03:31:48 AM
Woke up to find out an internet reviewer/producer I am a fan of passed away a couple of days ago, even though I did not know them in person it still has hit me hard.

I also feel bad that I am shaken by the loss of someone I have never met and yet when I lose a family member(especially one I am close to) I do not always feel anything.

This is *VERY* normal. I did not really shed a tear when my father died. I loved him to bits, but I just felt empty and.. decent. Like meh let's move on. I felt bad for feeling like that, but I had to, otherwise I'd lose my mind.

Good things are happening, but I still feel so depressed.

Well this has turned out bad.
Didn't feel like putting on today and was misgendered in the bathroom by the janitor. I politely explained that I was indeed female, but people often mistake me because of my height, and no, I don't play basketball.
A few hours after that, and I'm in the bathroom before heading to lunch, and I clearly see that I look male, even with my wig.

As painstaking as it is, I'm gojng to have to put on makeup wvery time I leave my room from now until FFS. Oh how I envy cis girls on that fact!
Like I really don't want to put on makeup of I'm just going to go to breakfast and that's it. I don't think any cis girl would either. But they have the choice not to; if I want a chance of passing, I have to.

*hugs Willow*

Quote from: Willow on January 26, 2014, 12:30:20 PM


As painstaking as it is, I'm gojng to have to put on makeup wvery time I leave my room from now until FFS. Oh how I envy cis girls on that fact!
Like I really don't want to put on makeup of I'm just going to go to breakfast and that's it. I don't think any cis girl would either. But they have the choice not to; if I want a chance of passing, I have to.

Cant be helped... 

Quote from: FalsePrincess on January 26, 2014, 12:36:14 PMCant be helped... 

13 more weeks of school,  then however long it is until FFS.

Having to go driving with my father today....

I hate driving....

Just kind of dropped into a bad mood. I started the day off right, and then it just declined gradually and now here I am.

Quote from: birkin on January 26, 2014, 03:40:53 PM
Just kind of dropped into a bad mood. I started the day off right, and then it just declined gradually and now here I am.

I'm down here. I just hope it doesn't last long. We should have a party in this dark pit.

Came out to gf and 2 best friends. Relationships ruined within 3 days.

Quote from: LordKAT on January 26, 2014, 03:56:05 PM
I'm down here. I just hope it doesn't last long. We should have a party in this dark pit.

Agreed!

Quote from: LordKAT on January 26, 2014, 03:56:05 PM
I'm down here. I just hope it doesn't last long. We should have a party in this dark pit.

I don't know about you moody guys (Shan scratches head)

Feeling sick and tired. I think I need to eat more vegetables and get more exercise.

A year on hrt and all I have to ask is, progress wherefore art thou?