unfortunately I now understand why ppl have a low opinion of ->-bleeped-<-s. 

->-bleeped-<- = A closet gay men that is about being seen a hetro.

I have had to deal with them over the years. As soon as they say they would not want me to have SRS was when i gave them the boot.


Isabell

Quote from: mind is quiet now on January 25, 2014, 01:00:44 PM
->-bleeped-<- = A closet gay men that is about being seen a hetro.

I don't think that's necessarily true. Someone could be completely straight and still be a ->-bleeped-<-.

Quote from: Yasmine on January 25, 2014, 12:49:52 PM
Screw them

->-bleeped-<-s work too!!!! Really, how can you even say someone is a ->-bleeped-<- or what one even is? I actually think the community gets up in arms over nothing and if a guy is attracted to me and says he masturbates to me and gets hard around me (heard this several times from different men) and he loves me then I don't care. In fact, why do we never hear about cis women ->-bleeped-<-s? I went with one woman in my life and she was basically a ->-bleeped-<- that liked me cause I am so androgynous and she could have the best of both worlds. That is until I said I was going to start HRT and she left me and it destroyed me and I ended up not taking HRT for five years waiting for her, decimating my late 20s.

Now, at 30, I have a BF and he loves me and all that but says I should think about SRS because it's so expensive and invasive but it has nothing to do with my penis cause he wants nothing to do with it. He just cares about me.

But we only hear about how horrible men are. I think men are great and really, a lot of times, are much nicer and accepting then some women. I should qualify this by saying men prolly like me cause I'm tiny and cute. These same men would prolly have nothing to do with me if I was bigger and maybe not as passable. My BF said he took a picture of me and showed it to his aunt and she was so amazed that I looked so completely normal.

Moral is: men can be awful if you're not passable and draw attention. I guess it's a little like gatekeeping used to be: you have to be a femme androphile transsexual to be treated well. Men call me baby and babe and hun and sweetie all the time so I assume I pass. I don't think I pass so that is a problem cause my BF gets annoyed. Sometimes all he wants to do is talk about it and then other times he's like don't you have a girl friend you can talk to about your woman stuff lol

I just think too often if a man like a T-girl he gets called a ->-bleeped-<- and it's often the trans community that does it and maybe there is some jealousy or something involved cause I dont think there is anything wrong with wanting me if you're a guy. In fact, if you don't, ya might be gay. That's what I told my BF.

My BF also plays games and sometimes I think he tries to test my resolve about HRT and SRS because he said he does want me to have a vag long-term. So there is that.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on January 25, 2014, 01:14:35 PM
->-bleeped-<-s work too!!!! Really, how can you even say someone is a ->-bleeped-<- or what one even is? I actually think the community gets up in arms over nothing and if a guy is attracted to me and says he masturbates to me and gets hard around me (heard this several times from different men) and he loves me then I don't care. In fact, why do we never hear about cis women ->-bleeped-<-s? I went with one woman in my life and she was basically a ->-bleeped-<- that liked me cause I am so androgynous and she could have the best of both worlds. That is until I said I was going to start HRT and she left me and it destroyed me and I ended up not taking HRT for five years waiting for her, decimating my late 20s.

Now, at 30, I have a BF and he loves me and all that but says I should think about SRS because it's so expensive and invasive but it has nothing to do with my penis cause he wants nothing to do with it. He just cares about me.

But we only hear about how horrible men are. I think men are great and really, a lot of times, are much nicer and accepting then some women. I should qualify this by saying men prolly like me cause I'm tiny and cute. These same men would prolly have nothing to do with me if I was bigger and maybe not as passable. My BF said he took a picture of me and showed it to his aunt and she was so amazed that I looked so completely normal.

Moral is: men can be awful if you're not passable and draw attention. I guess it's a little like gatekeeping used to be: you have to be a femme androphile transsexual to be treated well. Men call me baby and babe and hun and sweetie all the time so I assume I pass. I don't think I pass so that is a problem cause my BF gets annoyed. Sometimes all he wants to do is talk about it and then other times he's like don't you have a girl friend you can talk to about your woman stuff lol

I just think too often if a man like a T-girl he gets called a ->-bleeped-<- and it's often the trans community that does it and maybe there is some jealousy or something involved cause I dont think there is anything wrong with wanting me if you're a guy. In fact, if you don't, ya might be gay. That's what I told my BF.

My BF also plays games and sometimes I think he tries to test my resolve about HRT and SRS because he said he does want me to have a vag long-term. So there is that.

I agree with you.I don't think everyone who is attracted to a trans person is gay, or even a ->-bleeped-<-. To me it means someone obsessed with having sex with a transgender person. I may be naïve but to me it should be more than that. I prob shouldn't have even posted about it, it was just something I've never encountered before.

Quote from: LJP on January 25, 2014, 01:51:35 PM
I agree with you.I don't think everyone who is attracted to a trans person is gay, or even a ->-bleeped-<-. To me it means someone obsessed with having sex with a transgender person. I may be naïve but to me it should be more than that. I prob shouldn't have even posted about it, it was just something I've never encountered before.

Well, my BF says most men these days will consider dating a trans girl if she passes. There is no passes well. You either pass or you don't. I guess thereis that vague is she a guy state but they still default to female and it's prolly something like facial hair that does it. I know anyone who has asked me always says the same thing: the beard shadow. Other then that, they would never question it. I don't shave for 36 hours every Saturday thru Monday in  order to pluck my facial hair.

That's why I think men are more accepting and willing to leave their comfort zone. This isn't the case with cis females. Hence, the high rate of divroces among trans women who marry.

OR that stat could have something to do with the limited amount of places where men are allowed to get hitched to other men.

Or the divorce rate being high to begin.

Or transitioners who were not forthcoming to their wife before starting transition or before getting married.

Welcome to womanhood though! Some men are just creepy if/when they come on to you. Trust that instinct. Just because THEY are interested does not mean you should reciprocate.

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on January 25, 2014, 02:34:50 PM
Just trust Your instincts and intuition - there is a reason we have it . And there be douchebags in our lives, ->-bleeped-<-s or not, male and female . Still, there are many great men somewhere out there .

That's good advice. I think it surprised me a bit. As a man it seems like women put you on a pedestal. My few and new experiences dealing with men didn't feel like that. You can't judge everyone based on a few persons actions.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on January 25, 2014, 01:14:35 PM
Now, at 30, I have a BF and he loves me and all that but says I should think about SRS because it's so expensive and invasive but it has nothing to do with my penis cause he wants nothing to do with it. He just cares about me.

I have heard this one before.  I took it to mean, "I don't want you to have surgery but I can't say that out loud to you."  Basically, I felt like he was being a sneak and I was being manipulated so I stopped talking to him afterward.  There was more than just that one thing to make me feel that way about him, so I am not saying your boyfriend is doing the same cause I don't know him obv.  It would make me raise my eyebrows tho.

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on January 25, 2014, 03:07:57 PM
My current impressions are rather that they like to put them on pedestals themselves and then be genuinely surprised why everyone else tends to disagree .
When I started first steps in online dating it was like - wow, another guy has decided to turn his manly attention in my humble direction, omg omg omg!!!! Well, the novelty wears off. In most cases, when they speak up to You, they want something and they are not really upfront with what exactly they want. And despite everything else, they do have two heads and I sometimes wonder which one is the leading one.
So, now, I look very carefully for every single clue - and they are bound to drop at least some of them -  language they use, vocabulary, sentences. It tells a lot about their true intentions and whether they take You serious enough or just wanna play around. 
And another warning - the "good ones" - in the bad sense (cheez, what a pun...) will be very well aware and skilled about female buttons which should be pushed to get desired result - they are good in female psychology and weaknesses - they know which buttons to push, the proper order and they are very confident in what they do and wont hesitate - except it always can be just a game for them. The way we can still stay safe is called female intuition . And since I believe it is something related to female brain wiring, we are blessed with that too .

Once again good advice. I feel like a teenager again trying to figure it out. I feel like I know a little and don't know a lot. With that said I wouldn't have it any other way.

I think what sets a ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<- apart is the fetishistic attraction to the transwoman's penis.

I would be quite concerned with anyone who wanted only one particular aspect of me, and in my view that is what a ->-bleeped-<- is. Now that doesn't make them bad per se but, it does make their interests run counter to many mtfs but certainly not all, I could imagine there really wouldn't be any tension from a nonop mtf with being told not to have srs. After all it is her choice, and if she choose to be nonop because of a relationship if she is happy I couldn't fault her.

Now that being said it is all academic because unless there are female ->-bleeped-<-s out there (I guess there by sheer numbers there have to be a few) I wouldn't be in any sort of relationship with one. I generally think it is smarter to try and size up each person individually though putting that label on them tends to lead to a bit of a knee jerk reaction.

Quote from: Oh The Humanity! on January 25, 2014, 03:34:31 PM
I think what sets a ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<- apart is the fetishistic attraction to the transwoman's penis.

Yeah, I agree! If a guy (or gal) is into you for as a person then they're cool, but if they're weirdly turned on by the gender/sex organ mix then that is probably a warning sign. Apart from the fact I don't want to date guys I decided to not put myself in the dating game until I've been full time for at least a year. I expect even if I said I was only interested in women I'd still get a lot of unwanted attention from men.

You may not mean to come across this way, but some of your post's Joanna are quite triggering and hurtful.

Quote from: LJP on January 25, 2014, 09:58:46 AM
unfortunately I now understand why ppl have a low opinion of ->-bleeped-<-s. 

So what happened? 

Quote from: Jen on January 25, 2014, 03:16:56 PM
I have heard this one before.  I took it to mean, "I don't want you to have surgery but I can't say that out loud to you."  Basically, I felt like he was being a sneak and I was being manipulated so I stopped talking to him afterward.  There was more than just that one thing to make me feel that way about him, so I am not saying your boyfriend is doing the same cause I don't know him obv.  It would make me raise my eyebrows tho.

No, you are absolutely right. And it did raise my eyebrows. (I was plucking them so...jk). But seriously, lately he hasn't said anything and seems much more supportive of the idea. He used to never gender me correctly. Never. Ever. Now, he genders me correctly 99.9 percent of the time. So, he's a work in progress.

I am so surprised you don't have a BF. You are beautiful Jen. Seriously. And your personality rocks so get out there! But it is so tough and really I am just super lucky.

But you know the old trans proverb: you have to blow a lot of ->-bleeped-<-s to...wait, what? JK LOL