Quote from: Willow on January 28, 2014, 10:20:27 AM
I've been given until the end of the school year to get my depression "under control" before I'm reeavluated once again for hormones.
Mind you this isn't my therapist's choice, this is the school clinic's idea. But what choice do I have? They're covered by my insurance. Nothing else that provides trans care is and I can't pay out of pocket.

And what does "under control" really mean? The longer I go with nothing happening, the wore the depression gets. The (lack) of logic of some people.

I don't know a polite way, or if it's just downright rude, to dump your doctor because they wouldn't give you what you need.

Believe it or not I had to deal with this too...
My therapist had told me that he ll prescribe me hormones but then he changed his mind and said I need more time...       
it really sucks cause ,you know, they give you hope and suddently take it away,,,

From the moment I started seeing a therapist a year passed , then I started hormones....
I believe it depends on the age,,,the dont give hormones that easy to young people...imagine how many 15-16 yo would be forced to wait until 18 yo etc etc...
I cant understand this logic...

Turns out the most excellent state of Michigan is not only taking away the $113 they were supposed to give back to me, they're taking away $4 from me.
Doesn't seem like a lot, but the $113 they were supposed to give me, along with the $162 the federal government is going to give me, is supposed to last the rest of the semestre. And possible, the rest of the year, considering I probably can't work over the summer.
How am I supposed to pay for anything on $158? Looks like I'm going to have to ask dad for more money.

First I thought I'd be getting $4-500 back. Then $275. And now I'm barely getting $150.

This has been the absolute worst week ever. And it just started.

Quote from: FalsePrincess on January 28, 2014, 02:25:37 PM
Believe it or not I had to deal with this too...
My therapist had told me that he ll prescribe me hormones but then he changed his mind and said I need more time...       
it really sucks cause ,you know, they give you hope and suddently take it away,,,

From the moment I started seeing a therapist a year passed , then I started hormones....
I believe it depends on the age,,,the dont give hormones that easy to young people...imagine how many 15-16 yo would be forced to wait until 18 yo etc etc...
I cant understand this logic...

This is the second time she's done it to me, just 2.5 months later. I can't wait any longer. I'm going to have to talk with dad and tell him to take me to HB in Chicago, hopefully they won't be as stupid and moronic.

I'm sick of dealing with this gatekeeping. I'm no longer depressed, I'm downright angry.

I got locked out of my Toys R Us online application account for 24 hours for the wrong username/password.

Pretty much everything, wish I could at least surgically remove my brain at least since it is hurting(not headache like) and then I can't think about feeling bad.

I feel useless, unloved, purposeless. Discarded.

Quote from: Willow on January 28, 2014, 05:04:45 PM
I feel useless, unloved, purposeless. Discarded.

Aww what's wrong?

Quote from: Willow on January 28, 2014, 05:04:45 PM
I feel useless, unloved, purposeless. Discarded.

im not gonna lie i have that "unloved/unlovable" feeling all the time, it makes me cry if i think about how no one will ever love me because im ugly and a freak, bah i hate it, the only thing that makes me feel better is knowing that in a year i will be able to officially start my transition with full time living and have the finances to make myself pretty in the way i want to be

Quote from: Mr Hockey on January 28, 2014, 06:29:34 PMAww what's wrong?

Mostly more complaints about my doctor and medical staff that no one wants to hear. Also the fact that not even ->-bleeped-<-s will want me until FFS becausw I'm not passable, and the only surgery I can get at this rate would be the tracheal shave, which doesn't help my face look any better.
Off topic, but I think that's donald Brashear in your avitar. Shame he was such a bad player.

Quote from: kiara jamie on January 28, 2014, 07:05:55 PM
im not gonna lie i have that "unloved/unlovable" feeling all the time, it makes me cry if i think about how no one will ever love me because im ugly and a freak, bah i hate it, the only thing that makes me feel better is knowing that in a year i will be able to officially start my transition with full time living and have the finances to make myself pretty in the way i want to be

You lucked out. You're already very pretty. I'd date you in a second. No one wants to date a man's face perched on the frame of a tall woman, who has to wear socks for breasts.

thank you everyone for the responses, they warmed my heart <3 and yes, my baby kissy has been helping me and my gf through this sad time by giving us tons of kisses and cuddles and being extra silly. together we will pull through this. thanks again <3

edit:
Willow, I've always loved getting to see your pictures. I think you are quite beautiful and have a wonderfully fem face already! Just wanted you to know that even though you see yourself one way, there are many different people with many different perceptions in this world, and plenty of these people find you gorgeous.

Quote from: Willow on January 28, 2014, 07:25:30 PM
Mostly more complaints about my doctor and medical staff that no one wants to hear. Also the fact that not even ->-bleeped-<-s will want me until FFS becausw I'm not passable, and the only surgery I can get at this rate would be the tracheal shave, which doesn't help my face look any better.
Off topic, but I think that's donald Brashear in your avitar. Shame he was such a bad player.You lucked out. You're already very pretty. I'd date you in a second. No one wants to date a man's face perched on the frame of a tall woman, who has to wear socks for breasts.

Hey, I think you're beautiful. You're one of my favorites on this site, honestly; I'd date you in an instant if we ever met (and if I was a bit older).

Yes, it is Brashear I'm pretty sure. I picked it for Rob Ray though.

Quote from: Mr Hockey on January 28, 2014, 07:31:07 PM
Hey, I think you're beautiful. You're one of my favorites on this site, honestly; I'd date you in an instant if we ever met (and if I was a bit older).

Yes, it is Brashear I'm pretty sure. I picked it for Rob Ray though.

I only post pictures taken on Wednesdays anymore. It's the only day that I seem to look presentable.

I hate how I feel so pretty and sexy on the inside (even doing a dancelike routine to a song ) but then I look in a mirror and my face is nothing like how I imagined it.

I thought it was PK at first but then realised the number was wrong. The jersey colours were right though.
Kinda funny, there's PK, defender for my favourite hockey team, and then Piqué, defender for my favourite soccer team.

Quote from: Willow on January 28, 2014, 07:34:59 PM
I only post pictures taken on Wednesdays anymore. It's the only day that I seem to look presentable.

I hate how I feel so pretty and sexy on the inside (even doing a dancelike routine to a song ) but then I look in a mirror and my face is nothing like how I imagined it.

I know how you feel. I think you have a very pretty face.. keep your head up

I saw your pic on the Before & After thread with the FC Barcelona shirt.. I'm assuming that's your favorite team? I'm a big Manchester United fan. I also like Celtic FC.

Quote from: Mr Hockey on January 28, 2014, 07:38:10 PM
I know how you feel. I think you have a very pretty face.. keep your head up

Doesn't feel that way when I'm stared at, pointed at, whispered about behind my back, and laughed at. Especially not when I get misgendered in the bathroom. I've been using more remotely located bathrooms since that big incident...

Quote from: Mr Hockey on January 28, 2014, 07:38:10 PMI saw your pic on the Before & After thread with the FC Barcelona shirt.. I'm assuming that's your favorite team? I'm a big Manchester United fan. I also like Celtic FC.

Yep.
And I started liking them long ago, back in the Ronaldinho days. I didn't bandwagon because of Messi

If I end up going to the University of Edinburgh for grad school, I'll see if I can't joint Hibernian LFC. Other than that, I don't really follow Scottish football. Only English, Spanish, German, and Italian, my teams being West Ham, Barcelona, Bayer Leverkusen, and Roma, respectively.

Quote from: Willow on January 28, 2014, 07:40:19 PM
Doesn't feel that way when I'm stared at, pointed at, whispered about behind my back, and laughed at. Especially not when I get misgendered in the bathroom. I've been using more remotely located bathrooms since that big incident...

Big incident? What happened, if you don't mind me asking?

Quote from: Willow on January 28, 2014, 07:43:45 PM
Yep.
And I started liking them long ago, back in the Ronaldinho days. I didn't bandwagon because of Messi

If I end up going to the University of Edinburgh for grad school, I'll see if I can't joint Hibernian LFC. Other than that, I don't really follow Scottish football. Only English, Spanish, German, and Italian, my teams being West Ham, Barcelona, Bayer Leverkusen, and Roma, respectively.

I've never really gotten into La Liiga football. FC Barcelona is a great team though.. Messi is great.

I'm relatively new to football actually. Many assume I'm a bandwagoner because Man Utd has lots of bandwagoners I've noticed but the first full football game I saw was a Man Utd game so I started liking them. I didn't even know any of the players. I started following Celtic FC after watching a documentary about them.

I've watched MLS a little bit and it's ok. I like the Red Bulls.

Quote from: Mr Hockey on January 28, 2014, 07:54:16 PMBig incident? What happened, if you don't mind me asking?

I've never really gotten into La Liiga football. FC Barcelona is a great team though.. Messi is great.

I'm relatively new to football actually. Many assume I'm a bandwagoner because Man Utd has lots of bandwagoners I've noticed but the first full football game I saw was a Man Utd game so I started liking them. I didn't even know any of the players. I started following Celtic FC after watching a documentary about them.

The janitor asked me what I was doing in the girl's bathroom. I politely explained that I was a girl, that my height often got me mistaken, and no, I don't play basketball.
I quickly washed my hands and left. I just wanted to go find a dark corner and cry for hours.

I know the rostrr by heart. Except I never remember which are 8 and 6, Xavi or Iniesta, since they wear opposite numbers for Spain as they do Barcelona. I think Xavi is 8, and Iniesta is 6. Our that coukd be their Spain numbers.

ManU is in 7th place
I just hate City and all their money.
Best BPL game I ever watched: City at Aston Villa. Villa is somehow tied at 2-2 when Andy Weimann, only 22 years old and pretty much unknown, filling in for the injured Gabriel Agbonlahor, scores to put Villa on top 3-2. Never expected it. It was fantastic. Villa has a great number of talented young players, but lacks leadership in terms of veterans.

MLS: where players go to die.

I shared a video on my tumblr, I wanted to dedicate it to someone special who doesn't know who they are although I don't think I'm ready for her to figure it out and I am sure she would. Nope not ready for that conversation.

Quote from: Willow on January 28, 2014, 08:04:51 PM
The janitor asked me what I was doing in the girl's bathroom. I politely explained that I was a girl, that my height often got me mistaken, and no, I don't play basketball.
I quickly washed my hands and left. I just wanted to go find a dark corner and cry for hours.

I know the rostrr by heart. Except I never remember which are 8 and 6, Xavi or Iniesta, since they wear opposite numbers for Spain as they do Barcelona. I think Xavi is 8, and Iniesta is 6. Our that coukd be their Spain numbers.

ManU is in 7th place
I just hate City and all their money.
Best BPL game I ever watched: City at Aston Villa. Villa is somehow tied at 2-2 when Andy Weimann, only 22 years old and pretty much unknown, filling in for the injured Gabriel Agbonlahor, scores to put Villa on top 3-2. Never expected it. It was fantastic. Villa has a great number of talented young players, but lacks leadership in terms of veterans.

MLS: where players go to die.

Aww , I've had some moments like that. But I'm sure with FFS, you'll feel more confident and look more feminine. Like I said, I think you already look feminine. You have a very cute face.

I know, I know it sucks. :/ Well at least we won today.. a win against Cardiff isn't that impressive but I'll take it. I don't really have a favorite football game yet.

MLS is very weak compared to European football.. but it's ok I guess. Well this is going off-topic lol so maybe I'll message you tomorrow and we could talk football. I have to get in bed.

Quote from: Mr Hockey on January 28, 2014, 08:10:54 PMAww , I've had some moments like that. But I'm sure with FFS, you'll feel more confident and look more feminine. Like I said, I think you already look feminine. You have a very cute face.

I know, I know it sucks. :/ Well at least we won today.. a win against Cardiff isn't that impressive but I'll take it. I don't really have a favorite football game yet.

MLS is very weak compared to European football.. but it's ok I guess. Well this is going off-topic lol so maybe I'll message you tomorrow and we could talk football. I have to get in bed.

Yes, but only on Wednesdays.
And unfortunately, FFS looks like it won't be for another year, at this rate.

I don't like what Moyes is doing to the club.

But yeah, I'll message with you tomorrow.

I have to start over on an online application