So it's been a while since I've been on here until a couple of days ago as I've been busy finding a job and working part time at a shop amongst other things.

Now been doing sessions with a therapist who is writing a report on me since Octorber once a month. The therapist is very nice and we get along. However, as I am not a good speaker at the best of times, and this is something I have kept to myself for 22 years I am struggling to answer her questions and generally talk about it. I am worried that this is really holding back what I want to say, or what needs to be said.

Discovered that my private health insurance most likely won't cover me if I choose to go private and I will have to stick it out through the NHS which is kind of frustrating. This is because of one of my health issues which means getting health insurance is almost impossible in the first place.

Also getting frustrated by my parents wanting to get my hair cut short every now and then. I've come out to them and I know they can't force me and that for men you have to go into interviews and jobs with short hair but it is annoying. For me transition trumps job easily. It is that important to me.

On the plus side, as my therapist suggested, and despite unresponded emails I have found a trans support group for 11-25 year olds. The first one I'll be going to is next Wednesday and I can't wait.

Aso decided with the job market so messed up in my particular field at the moment that I will leave any further education for a few years now so I can concentrate on transition as well as getting a job.

Finally I have also decided to get some stuff to 'feminise' myself. I'm not going to let anything hold me back on who I am anymore. Ordered some stuff through Amazon as I'm not brave enough to buy anything in the shop at the moment. My epilator arrived the other day. Think the only thing to be said about that is Y'OUCH!!!

Sorry for the random rambling.

My stupid boss is always nagging me about my hair too. She's like cut it or I won't give you your check. Co-workers even say, "You'd look so nice with nice short hair". Its really annoying...I'm seeing therapist for the first time tomorrow, kinda freaked a bit about it. Got a lot to say and all of it will be difficult. Hard to talk about that kind of stuff. Oh and buying stuff on the 'net is awesome, I have bought some stuff from stores but it is stressful and scary still.

-Kelly

I am not an expert non anything but I will put in my 2 cents. Online is a good place to start buying. Less stress. Sometimes it is still Scary buying in person but I think I am doing pretty well lately and what I have noticed is nobody cares what you buy. I was picking up my pain meds at CVS and I saw the cutest pair of pink plaid pajama bottoms and had to have them and figured since I was buying those I would get a pair of black Capri pantyhose. And I buy camisoles and panties at target. And the epilator does hurt less the more you use it. I us it for my arms and legs. I know it is hard to talk to the therapist. I am super shy and I will have a hard time the first day for sure. But if she is a good therapist she will make me comfortable and open me up. If that happens she won't be able to shut me up. If your therapist can't make you comfortable then I think I would look for a new one. Its like anybody I use like my nail lady and sugaring lady. They made me so comfortable that they can't shut me up. And that is usually a good sign they are good at their job as well. People here have been awesome to me since I've been here. Just talk talk talk. There is never anything bad you can really say. The only bad thing is saying nothing.

Norma Lynne