Thank you for all your support ladies :-) luckily I'm not financially dependent on them haven't been for a long time. I'm 31 but when dealing with them I feel like I'm 15. The car was the only thing they could take from me. It does make finding a job a lot harder cause where I live has zero public transportation. But it's just a car. Who I am isn't going to be bought off. They can have the stupid thing. I still have a wonderful girlfriend I live with who supports me 100%. All this means is I'm going to work that much harder. In a way it's kinda a weight lifted from my shoulders. They did play their hand and now have no other cards to play.

sounds good, good luck

Thank you sweetie :-)

Sounds like your parents are using the same playbook mine did. Try their hardest to get you to not transition for your own sake just so they can keep their reputations intact. Mine didn't have anything to take away from me as I am 100% independent so they have learned that I can live without them even though it'll hurt me I can and will if I have to. They on the other hand have begun to realize that I do play a rather big part in their lives and with me gone they have nobody to depend on when things go bad. Still even after almost 5 months it's a constant struggle.

At first it was that I obviously have no idea how I feel in my own body but THEY do.
Then it was that I'm possessed by the Debil "yes I spelled it that way on purpose " for only he would cause me to do this and turn my back on the bible. Even though I'm still Christian.
After that it was the oh this is the generational curse. Yes, my mom whole heartily believed that things both sides of our families did in the past somehow cursed me and ONLY me to be transgender. At least I learned that even though I'm transgender I'm still only 1/10th as screwed up as all of my relatives. Really I learned some really effed up stuff about all of my relatives.
They couldn't believe I never pranced around the house proclaiming that I was a girl....ect. They just don't understand what FEAR really is and what you will do even as a kid to keep people from finding out your deepest secrets. I figured my mom would as she too had a rather unpleasant experience as a child that she kept hidden for years and years "were talking about almost four decades" and yet with that knowledge of why we keep things hidden she couldn't relate as they were just too different and mine just goes against the bible.
That's where 95% of all of my family related problems stem from. One book and words that are in it. They still don't even believe that I spent years and years trying to pray my feelings away and the agony of waking up the next day feeling the same as always and that your cries to god went unanswered again.
When I started HRT they FLIPPED out but still tolerated me even though my sister has vowed to make my transition as difficult as she possibly can out of spite because she is afraid that I'll be a better woman than she ever could be. Newsflash to her is that already happened even when I was in male mode and she never noticed it. I can do many stereotypical things that women do and she can't as she is a 100% tomboy.

All in all there's no stopping me from moving forward and finding my happiness in life. They are beginning to realize it as the proof is really in the pudding as they say, every picture that's taken of ME shows something that every picture of "me" had that was never there. I couldn't show outward signs of being happy when I was a man, my eyes had a dead look in them but now I have a true smile as a woman and this warmth that just pours out of me. So just give them time, either they will come around or they wont and that rests solely on THEIR shoulders alone. Spend this time working on yourself and not trying to get them to understand as in most cases they either don't want to or are just too stuck in their own pride to admit that YOUR happiness is really the important thing that they really want for you. Even it if means hurt on their end as they see their child physically change before them.

Megumi is right. Their choice.

And Megumi is right about hiding things. I know someone who was repeatedly raped by her brother and her parents had no idea until almost three decades later. In their house? Impossible they thought! Yet when confronted, the son admitted what he'd done.

People see what they want to see, not what is always there.

The part that made me laugh was when he said "you have to get right with Jesus" just before he rejects you. How Christian of him. I wonder if the irony of his words and actions will ever occur to him over the course of his entire life.

This made me so angry to hear but I would cut them off for good. Your mom is a sorry excuse for one (espically being your own blood) Screw them. Your stepdad sounds like a dick. I would just pretend they were dead and move on with my life. You only live once and life is too short to be dealing uncceasry drama. You just go where you're celebrated not tolerated.

Oh and if you really want to get them back, just send a post card to all your relatives of the new and fabulous you or post a pic on Facebook(if you have one). That way EVERYONE will know and your parents would have to deal with the "embarrassment" rather or not if they like it! 

It's amazing how parents and family will react so stupidly.  A son or daughter can be can be a model child one second, and just a moment later they're an evil posessed being.  As for never showing any tendency toward being trans, and that they'd have known otherwise ... just show your mother this. 

   http://www.today.com/video/today/52130169#52130169

I don't particularly like discussing theology, but your stepfather is a lost cause.  He fears you're a reflection on him, and his faith in some perverted vision of Christianity was shaken.  True believers accept what God made, be it the people around them or family members.  Tell your mother that you love her, and tell your stepfather that you know Jesus died for all ... not just a self appointed group of "the chosen few".  And let him know you weren't abandon by Christ, but you were abandon by "your mothers husband".

I have similar issues with two brothers, and a son.  How they feel about me hasn't changed how much I still care for them.  But that doesn't mean I have to let their bigotry control my life.  They can live in ignorance, I won't.

Yeah I pretty much have no hope for my stepfather. I just don't want to lose my mother because of him. I've spent most of my life trying to please him with no success. I'm finally starting to realize that nothing I do is going to make him happy. So I'm going to try to make myself happy for a change. If he comes around that's good for him, if not oh well. It just hurts that for the first time in my life I'm being completely honest to them and they have to try to punish me for it.

Quote from: Collette on February 02, 2014, 08:10:12 PM
... It just hurts that for the first time in my life I'm being completely honest to them and they have to try to punish me for it.

I for one am glad you're an honest person, and an honest woman to boot.  Hugs.

Quote from: Collette on February 02, 2014, 08:10:12 PM
Yeah I pretty much have no hope for my stepfather. I just don't want to lose my mother because of him. I've spent most of my life trying to please him with no success. I'm finally starting to realize that nothing I do is going to make him happy. So I'm going to try to make myself happy for a change. If he comes around that's good for him, if not oh well. It just hurts that for the first time in my life I'm being completely honest to them and they have to try to punish me for it.

This is a healthy attitude.  You can't control them, but you can control your proximity to them.  They don't have to understand, but they do need to respect you as an adult.  And the fact that they took your car in the attempt to turn you shows they still think of you as a teenager throwing a tantrum. 

Your best bet is to push ahead and wait them out.  As others have said, you'll likely not convince either of them in the course of a conversation or two.

Collette, I have a very similar family. They don't know about me yet but just from other issues my father over the years has pulled those stunts to get his way over me. As time went on I learned to just do without his "gifts" or "things". He's been doing that to me since I was in elementary school and he would have me take all of my toys out of my room and lock them up for weeks at a time. It evolved into taking my car and threatening to throw me out of my town home. Eventually the shame of denying me those things and my mothers pushing brought them back. Frankly by the time I was 22 I had learned to just deal with life with or without his help. By 34 I've become so independent that it has infuriated him to the point of just not talking to me or my x wife anymore. That was two years ago. I have my own house, my own car, my own life and nothing has his damn name on it anymore.

I still see my mother but just as is likely in your case she is dedicated to an emotionally and financially abusive man. Everything that I don't want to become or be near. To be honest I can't wait to come out to them just so that I can stop the formality of pretending to still want to be in contact with them and just cut all ties. I really hope that you mom is stronger than mine has been. One of us should get that happy ending and I hope that it's you. Sadly I'm done trying to keep it together with my parents and it would just be healthier not to be in a relationship with them at all anymore.

Good luck girl. Stay strong and keep in touch.