there's this very funny teacher, but he can be quite sexist at times. he asked us to do this assessment but it wasn't compulsory, but last week he said he was going to make it compulsory  and students who already have done it don't have to do it again, which includes me. but he said others have to do it in a separate book and girls must put a blue cover to it and boys a pink cover. it was funny enough and we laughed, but then he went on saying- don't get caught without following these rules. all girls books with pink covers, boys books with blue covers, purple covers and multicoloured covers will be rejected as invalid.
so glad i did it before the rules came in.

I've always had more guy friends than girl friends and when I was younger, I was always looked at as the cool girl that likes video games and all the stuff boys like. Well, I'd still be left out of certain things because I was 'female', like sports. And when they did let me be on their teams, they'd take it easy on me and not play as hard as they usually do. (For example, no tackle football).

They automatically assumed I couldn't play sports and be tough because I was born female. I think it's kind of dumb but that was always and still is a big dysphoria trigger.

Quote from: Cindy on January 28, 2014, 02:25:01 AM
I had that in reverse Over Christmas we had a gas cylinder to move, my tech was just about to ask me to help and then said, 'I'll page for a guy to come and help us'

that's great. No reason for a lady to get her hands dirty!

One of my preschoolers climbed in my lap and promptly fell asleep last week. I told her mother about it, and mom said "that's amazing. She only does that with women."

The girl calls me big brother, and asked if I was married to a princess because I look like a prince so I know she views me as make. It was a compliment but I still felt a little down about it for a few minutes.

Quote from: Mr Hockey on January 28, 2014, 11:45:07 AM
They automatically assumed I couldn't play sports and be tough because I was born female. I think it's kind of dumb but that was always and still is a big dysphoria trigger.

Doesn't seem dumb to me. One of my major triggers is being excluded from girls/ladies only activities...even though I fit right in and get along great with them there's still a gendered wall that gets in the way and it's a major bummer.

I no longer get refills on soda/coffee when going out. Still have bathroom hangups :/

Quote from: Mr Hockey on January 28, 2014, 11:45:07 AM
I've always had more guy friends than girl friends and when I was younger, I was always looked at as the cool girl that likes video games and all the stuff boys like. Well, I'd still be left out of certain things because I was 'female', like sports. And when they did let me be on their teams, they'd take it easy on me and not play as hard as they usually do. (For example, no tackle football).

They automatically assumed I couldn't play sports and be tough because I was born female. I think it's kind of dumb but that was always and still is a big dysphoria trigger.

Quote from: Ms Grace on January 29, 2014, 03:46:48 AM
Doesn't seem dumb to me. One of my major triggers is being excluded from girls/ladies only activities...even though I fit right in and get along great with them there's still a gendered wall that gets in the way and it's a major bummer.

I don't think it is dumb at all. In primary school I used to play football with the boys everyday, then one day the teacher said I should play with the girls in front of them and from then on they never let me play with them again...

One that just occurred for me when I was at the cinema this week.

http://tinyurl.com/nuxgtse

First joke of the trailer, to indicate that "hey boys and girls...this will be a comedy kay?"

Of course the entire audience burst into uproarious laughter, and I just shrank into my seat and pretended I was invisible...

Still not as bad as the ending of "Filth" though...




It was such a horrible way to end that film, watching it in the cinema, I am still in the process of coming out, good film, funny, dark and brooding, get's Scottish humor perfect.

Then right at the end it takes this big "twist" like "So...this character is an alcoholic, drug abusing, corrupt cop who uses blackmail and all out violence to get his own way and satisfy his selfish, insane desires. He is hated by everybody, but they put up with him because he is good at his job...but you know what ends his career? The thing that pushes him over the edge in the eyes of his co-workers and makes him kill himself? Yup...it's discovered that he is a ->-bleeped-<-"

Wow...Such a big twist! Everybody in the audience is abhorrent! "Gasp" "Ewwww" "OMG!"

Oh great...now for the first time in the entire movie he is getting the crap beaten out of him and threatened with sexual abuse.

The line "You really F#@&$d up this time" is used, this is the thing that ends it?...none of the other stuff that should have had him fired or arrested a thousand times over?

Guy loses everything, kills himself...end of film.

What...the...actual?...

It was a nice reminder of how the general public sees trans people...walking out the theater surrounded by the audience, all buzzing around you about how it was so "messed up" and "disgusting"...

It was...it was a very, very bad day

I met a friends mother a while ago. She gave me several non-PC misguided compliments, such as "you're the kind of gay I like, well groomed but not flamboyant" xD (awkward when this stuff happens...makes me think...there's so many things wrong with what you just said...but thanks?)

She also said "you're far too pretty to be a boy!" - she has no idea I'm trans so it clearly wasn't meant as a sort of "you'll never be a real man!" statement. But for a minute I was like D=

Silly triggers:  being dragged into craft stores with my wife
Worked at radio shack sold gender changers

Real trigger:  when my wife (who knows I have issues) refers to me positive in any male way.
I'm not presenting as female so I get it but sometimes I want to cry

QuoteI just remembered another today. Those cards and balloons that read "It's a boy!" or "It's a girl!". I get why they exist, but they still annoy me to no end.

I agree! The cards should read "Its a baby!" Full. Stop. Why does it matter what friggin' sex it is, and why does it need to be colour coded?!

I hate all the colour-coding crap of gender. Especially when it comes to kids.

Kids seem to be often more curious, concerned or weirded-out by gender non-conformists and transexuals than adults are. Because kids are exposed to massive amounts of gender re-inforcing bullsh*t from when they were born. Boys have blue painted rooms, girls have pink rooms, boys get these toys, girls get these. It rots their brains and turns them into un-thinking conforming gender robots, already slaves to the function of their un-developed and currently useless genitals. Society hates the idea of sexualised kids, but has no problem with instilling harmful and confining messages, ultimately sexual in nature, from the second they leave the womb. Nice. 

"Now Wendy, you're only 1 year old, and we'd hate for you to have sex before you are old enough, but we're still going to start making you feel the pressure of being female and what'll be expected of you, from now". Remember kids, you're never too young to be packaged and boxed as a sexual object defined by your gender!

Quote from: "I'm Stella Stanhope, and that's why I drink". on February 01, 2014, 07:59:03 PM
I agree! The cards should read "Its a baby!" Full. Stop. Why does it matter what friggin' sex it is, and why does it need to be colour coded?!

I saw a card recently that read "It's a boy and a girl!"

It was intended for baby twins, but that isn't how I interpreted it.

Who else is bothered by the fact that a baby of unknown gender is referred to as. "It"?  I find that to be dehumanizing regardless of age.

Quote from: ErinM on February 02, 2014, 12:10:52 PM
Who else is bothered by the fact that a baby of unknown gender is referred to as. "It"?  I find that to be dehumanizing regardless of age.

I only find it offensive when the gender is known (but I know where you're coming from)... 

I feel ridiculously vain but every time I look in a mirror and see my thinning hair I get very upset

Quote from: ErinM on February 02, 2014, 12:10:52 PM
Who else is bothered by the fact that a baby of unknown gender is referred to as. "It"?  I find that to be dehumanizing regardless of age.

It doesn't strike me as dehumanizing, perhaps because I speak German, and the word for "child" or "infant" is neuter, so it's natural to use the neuter pronoun for it.  (For that matter, so is the word for girl, so traditionally, if you were telling a story about "ein Maedchen", you'd consistently use neuter pronouns for her -- Grimm's fairy tales do this.)  Cf. Mark Twain's essay "The Awful German Language."

FWIW, I have rarely heard this in the USA.  The few times I have, it's been from people from parts of the USA that I think had a large German immigrant population.

Older Brit literature sometimes refers to children as "it": "The pudding was served, and each child had its share." So it doesn't bother me at all. But boy howdy, I did not like being referred to as "it" myself. It happened only a few times, but that was enough for me.

I just mentioned this in another thread. When my therapist talks about trans kids with supportive parents or the college-age trans folks he is writing surgery letters for, I get very upset. He was nattering on and on (or so it seemed to me) about the college cohort the other day, and I couldn't even look at him or say anything. Seems like a ridiculous trigger, but it gets me every time. I really wanted to let him have it, but I didn't.

Quote from: RobinTheAmazon on February 02, 2014, 05:19:54 PM
I feel ridiculously vain but every time I look in a mirror and see my thinning hair I get very upset

You & me both, sister. That's one of the reasons I keep kicking myself for not starting HRT sooner: at this point in my life, what's gone is gone, unless I get hairline restoration, and that seems, like you said, ridiculously vain.

I hate it when someone accidentally misgenders a cisgender person in a sentence and then quickly corrects themselves without question and move on. Like if they're talking fast and call their dad "she" lol. But if they do it to a trans person, they either awkwardly correct themselves or don't bother and say something like "oh well mistakes happen and I can't correct them every time because it's weird."

Quote from: Arcee on February 02, 2014, 10:39:10 PM
You & me both, sister. That's one of the reasons I keep kicking myself for not starting HRT sooner: at this point in my life, what's gone is gone, unless I get hairline restoration, and that seems, like you said, ridiculously vain.

Quote from: RobinTheAmazon on February 02, 2014, 05:19:54 PM
I feel ridiculously vain but every time I look in a mirror and see my thinning hair I get very upset

Can we get T-Shirts for the club? Because I am a full time member

One I have found recently...pregnant women, just being around them makes me a bit sad that I can never have that.

When people bring up biological sex in reference to trans people and/or when biological sex is seen as absolutely binary. I know I'm a freak. I don't like being reminded of it.
Not to mention, I don't understand why brains are not considered biological or why whoever decided which organs determine sex decided to leave out brains. I know I'm biased what with being a brain fanboy, but aren't brains our most important organs? We (both cis and trans people) will die if we lose our brains. We won't die if we lose our reproductive organs which, incidentally, happens to cis people, but no one claims it makes them the opposite sex. Why is that? How, exactly, does this biological sex thing work?