Quote from: ConfusedHumanUK on January 22, 2014, 03:53:08 PM

- 'Normal' CIS people don't question their gender, at least thats what I keep getting told.

Don't believe everything you are told. I think this is a myth. Gender insecurities  and struggles (short term and long term) happen for many people besides those who identify as "trans".  My personal opinion is that  the term "cis" when discussing transgender issues is usually not particularly helpful and its usage does more harm than good.  It reduces other people's complex gender identities to an overly simplistic and speculative categorization based on prejudice, assumption and stereotyping - kinda the same things that us trans people seem to get worked up about when they are used to pigeonhole us. 

Quote from: ->-bleeped-<-BerniceJenkins link=topic=157883.msg1351506#msg1351506 date=1391423493
Do you think you are just trying to escape being the person you are right now and wanting to be a new person?

Possibly, and it's concerns like that that leave me confused. One point though is that the idea of starting again as a male holds no appeal (even a handsome, confident male), but as a female does.

QuoteAnd you said you would lose many of the people that care about you if you switched.  Well in my honest opinion they don't really care about you if they would just cast you out of their lives for that.  So to me they are just pretending and going through the motions of caring cuz if they really did they would get over it and still be in your life.  it may take a while but they will get over it.  .

Hmm, I'd say most of them would indeed get over it (though I would certainly lose a couple). But I think those that stuck around would think me weird and/or act differently around me.
My sister was telling me the other day how shocked she was to find a guy she used to go to school with is now an occassional cross-dresser. And I was thinking if she was so shocked about a guy she barely knows being a cross-dresser, what would she think of her brother being trans?

I know I'm a little late to the party here, but I identified with everything in your initial post. I mainly question the validity of my experience due to the sexual aspect - getting aroused by the idea of being feminized.

But I've been finding my male role stifling for the past year or so. I've been a really confident man for the past 3 years but now this whole gender thing has become a huge confused knot in my head. I'm going to see a gender therapist next week.

I found this post somewhat relieving, so thanks.

-Kaylie

Hi Kaylie, welcome to Susan's. I look forward to seeing you around the forums. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah

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With age comes wisdom right? Well I decided to pop back into this thread since it popped up from the past.
I still believe therapy is very important.
I no longer have GID, I have had FFS and body shaping.. I can walk into a club or social situation at 56 years of age and not get clocked.... but I do get a lot of attention thats for sure.. by guys.

But here is the point and why I made that statement. I still believe therapy most important thing.. also, from an early child hood nothing ever changed for me.. I would see a girl with a pony tail an get upset.. I got upset every day.. it was about my body.
And here is the kicker and this has been debunked .. one idiot therapist decided that it was all just a damn fantasy.
But let me ask a question, whats a girl to do in a boys body, especially if she has strong sexual desire like a boy because of that damn testosterone.
I questioned this a lot and used it as a way to cope and not transition after church therapy did not work.. I pretended I just had a fetish and oh what the hell who does not.. an hid it.
I had been diagnosed at 30 with GID but the church said It was something I dont remember when I was a kid which is pure bull->-bleeped-<-.
So here I am at 56, a good looking chick, lady woman whatever we want to call me... still in therapy for almost two years.. dealing with learning how to deal with men...
So I never changed not once, I finally had to accept myself, I still suggest therapy and If you dont like your therapist find one who can help.
Its so hard to figure out sometimes.. its no wonder CIS folks dont understand... but its real
BTW if I had the internet at 10 I would have transitioned.  I wanted boobs so bad and when puberty hit the girls it depressed me deeply..
I had a good cry over this last night.. looking back.. all the pain all those years.. every day..
So if you think you are trans figure it out.. find a way... make sure your mentally stable dont make a mistake...
Keri AKA Dodie

Thanks Mariah, I'll definitely read up

I appreciate the perspective, Dodie, though I guess I can't fully yet. I agree about the therapy - it won't be my first time, but I'll finally be talking about this. A lot of things have been coming up to the surface lately and I feel like I'm falling apart every day. This has never upset me this much, but I guess I've been in denial for quite some time.

Idk, I just feel trapped in my situation and I can't stop thinking about it.