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Stop Me if You've Heard This One Before

Started by DiDi, February 03, 2014, 11:27:32 AM

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DiDi

No.....really.
I am in the closet to everyone except some online friends on an ED forum and my Psychologist. The therapist and I have not really discussed it other than to say that given much of what I do it might very well be the elephant in the room and why my SO and I know I wear a mask. We have mainly worked on how to get my general needs met in an domestic environment where I am often anxious and we struggle just to stay on friendly terms.

Over the past year I have been coming more to terms that I am OK being a transwoman and would like to be more honest in my real life, at least with my immediate family (I am a married grandparent with two adult daughters). I am going today to a session with my therapist. I haven't progressed much in my ability to communicate well with SO but WTF - I need to get this big weight off my chest and start being more me IRL. I'm tired of sneaking around.

There is a lot of talk about gender therapists but that's not who I see. We do have a good relationship though. Do you think a generalist could get me through at least the coming out of the closet part? There is a real chance that my whole marital relationship will be over since it is very tenuous anyway. But frankly....I can't go on in the closet and I am suffering too much in my relationship with her anyway.

Thoughts and comments?
Trying to Be Real In Real Life
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LordKAT

If you are happy with the therapist you have, stay there. There is no need to have a 'gender' therapist.
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DiDi

I am happy with my psychologist and we seem to have just embarked on a new stage of therapy - its not just about being transgender - its about my need to live my own life and get my needs met. To evaluate what is holding me back - what it is (hidden or not) that I value so much that I can't give it up and move on. It's about making the decisions that need to be made and acting on them. Knowing what will be short term pain (huge and ongoing marital fights - that are happening anyway), the probable end of a marriage, that's not doing well anyway..... and what will be longer term - loss of friends and a social circle, some things I do enjoy, and definitely financial security (goodbye Freedom 60).

My session yesterday was very scary yet very liberating. I can hardly wait to see if I am up to hte challenge. I really hope so.
Trying to Be Real In Real Life
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LordKAT

Then keep working with them. The need to change would be if they won't help with your gender issues or you become uncomfortable working with them.
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