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I feel like a freak

Started by Melissa, October 13, 2006, 01:47:11 PM

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Nero

Quote from: Davilee on August 09, 2007, 05:43:23 AM
I have the female arms/elbow thingy.

This seems to be a popular optical illusion.
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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Melissa

#21
Quote from: Davilee on August 09, 2007, 05:43:23 AM
Ahh...the digit ratio....for me,my ring finger is 3/8" longer than my index.
That's how it's supposed to be for GMs.  My ring finger is actually shorter than my index finger.

Quote from:  link=topic=6719.msg135404#msg135404 date=1186672934
Quote from: Davilee on August 09, 2007, 05:43:23 AM
I have the female arms/elbow thingy.

This seems to be a popular optical illusion.
Yeah, but how many TS can actually bend their elbows backwards?  I know I can.  This is supposedly only a GG trait.  I think I have only met 1 other TS in person who could do this too.  Nobody else has been able to.

Need proof?


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Nero

#22
Quote from: Melissa on August 09, 2007, 10:57:15 AM
Quote from:  link=topic=6719.msg135404#msg135404 date=1186672934
Quote from: Davilee on August 09, 2007, 05:43:23 AM
I have the female arms/elbow thingy.

This seems to be a popular optical illusion.
Yeah, but how many TS can actually bend their elbows backwards?  I know I can.  This is supposedly only a GG trait.  I think I have only met 1 other TS in person who could do this too.  Nobody else has been able to.

Need proof?




You have great flexibility. :)
But I'm afraid that there are certain aspects that differ between the male and female skeleton. The pelvis is one.
The arm is one. Genetic males (no matter how 'hippy' one may appear) do not have the female pelvis which besides being wider is shaped absolutely different than the male pelvis. The female's arms hang at a different point than the male's arms. This is to provide room so that her arms do not collide with her wider hips.
There is also the infamous 'female arm carry angle' for holding and nursing offspring. I have this elusive, enviable, female trait. It comes in handy for cradling my tiny spoiled maltese while I go about my activities.
No genetic male has the female arm traits. Melanie Anne Phillips is either delusional or has an IS condition which caused an estrogen surge during puberty when these traits are formed.
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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Keira


Most GG I know can't bend their elbow backward either so I'm not sure if its something meaningfull or not!

I can put both legs behind my head, that's pretty good flexibility for a 40 year old :-).
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Melissa

#24
Quote from:  link=topic=6719.msg135461#msg135461 date=1186683712
You have great flexibility. :)
Thanks.  I read somewhere that only GGs could do what I am doing in my picture.  Maybe I can find that reference.  I don't know if it's a fact or not, which is why I said "supposedly".

QuoteBut I'm afraid that there are certain aspects that differ between the male and female skeleton. The pelvis is one.
The arm is one. Genetic males (no matter how 'hippy' one may appear) do not have the female pelvis which besides being wider is shaped absolutely different than the male pelvis. The female's arms hang at a different point than the male's arms. This is to provide room so that her arms do not collide with her wider hips.
There is also the infamous 'female arm carry angle' for holding and nursing offspring. I have this elusive, enviable, female trait. It comes in handy for cradling my tiny spoiled maltese while I go about my activities.
I agree 100% with what you say there.  Remember my bikini pic?  That was with my arms relaxed and dropped to the sides.  The arms just flare out at the elbows.  I did find some old pics of me and in those pics it didn't do this so much.  I don't know exactly what effects estrogen had on me. ???  I just am how I am and I don't know if I have a female skeleton or that the "differences" are only generalizations and males really do possess these attributes.  You decide.  I can say with 100% certainty that I have a "Melissa skeleton". ;D  Also, if I don't have a female skeleton, then I don't know what I have, but it's certainly NOT male.

I do also know that before transition, I never walked like a normal male.  More like a female, but with taking wider steps.  It was my ex who pointed that out, which she had always found strange before.  Most of my learning the walk was taking smaller steps and emphasizing the hip motion more.  I never understood the "arm tips" since mine already naturally had the result it was supposed to achieve (this was before I realized that my arms were different than men).

Oh yeah, another thing I've read before is that for the MTF, the angle of the pelvis will change on hormones due to ligaments tightening or something.  That has nothing to do with the shape or width or being IS or anything of the sort, but is just an effect of estrogen.  I hear the pelvis can widen if a person starts HRT at the onset of puberty, but I didn't.  As for male/female pelvic shape, the illiac crests and the angle of the pubic symphysis are the most noticeable differences.   I'd have to have an x-ray of mine to make an accurate assessment of the shape of my pelvis, so I don't usually talk about that aspect.  It *is* wider than a typical male pelvis though and is probably more comparable to a somewhat narrow-hipped GG, but still in the range.

Quote from:  link=topic=6719.msg135461#msg135461 date=1186683712
No genetic male has the female arm traits. Melanie Anne Phillips is either delusional or has an IS condition which caused an estrogen surge during puberty when these traits are formed.
Well, I only have her word to go by.  Maybe you're right about her being delusional.  I can't vouch for her, only myself.  I wish I could show you in person what I'm talking about, but a camera is about the best I can do for now. :-\

Quote from: Keira on August 09, 2007, 01:37:45 PMMost GG I know can't bend their elbow backward either so I'm not sure if its something meaningfull or not!
Well, pretty much most of the ones I know can.  I'll give you a better comparable example though.  I have a son and a daughter (both genetic offspring).  They both have normal skeletons to my observation and they are both quite flexible (in fact they are more flexible in their hips than me, which came from their mother).  My daughter can easily bend her elbows backwards, but my son is unable to.  In just about all other aspects though, he is almost as flexible as me including bending fingers backwards. 

Quote from: Keira on August 09, 2007, 01:37:45 PMI can put both legs behind my head, that's pretty good flexibility for a 40 year old :-).
That's more than I can do (I can just do 1 leg and barely at that), but then again I have a short torso and my lower spine isn't in the best condition.  I do know I'm more flexible than most GGs though.  In my musical I'm in, a bunch of us were supposed to come up with some special skill or talent we could do.  I chose to do some contortionism.  I was the only person able to bend that much, which was certainly more than most of the girls (all GGs) with the exception of 1 other person.  I don't know how much my flexibility plays into stuff, but like I said, I'm certain I have a "Melissa skeleton". ;)

I am trying to be as honest as I can here and I'm trying to avoid making any claims based merely on perception.  That's why have backed off saying I know for sure I have a female skeleton.  If you want to throw around semantics though, I could say:
A. I am female
B. I have my skeleton
C. Therefore I have a female skeleton. ;)
That could apply to ALL TS though. ;D

In other words, I don't really care *what* I have, but it's mine! :icon_evil_laugh:  Ok, maybe I should lay off the coffee.
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Nero

#25
Quote from: Melissa on August 09, 2007, 02:30:57 PM
Quote from:  link=topic=6719.msg135461#msg135461 date=1186683712
You have great flexibility. :)
Thanks.  I read somewhere that only GGs could do what I am doing in my picture.  Maybe I can find that reference.  I don't know if it's a fact or not, which is why I said "supposedly".

QuoteBut I'm afraid that there are certain aspects that differ between the male and female skeleton. The pelvis is one.
The arm is one. Genetic males (no matter how 'hippy' one may appear) do not have the female pelvis which besides being wider is shaped absolutely different than the male pelvis. The female's arms hang at a different point than the male's arms. This is to provide room so that her arms do not collide with her wider hips.
There is also the infamous 'female arm carry angle' for holding and nursing offspring. I have this elusive, enviable, female trait. It comes in handy for cradling my tiny spoiled maltese while I go about my activities.
I agree 100% with what you say there.  Remember my bikini pic?  That was with my arms relaxed and dropped to the sides.  The arms just flare out at the elbows.  I did find some old pics of me and in those pics it didn't do this so much.  I don't know exactly what effects estrogen had on me. ???  I just am how I am and I don't know if I have a female skeleton or that the "differences" are only generalizations and males really do possess these attributes.  You decide.  I can say with 100% certainty that I have a "Melissa skeleton". ;D  Also, if I don't have a female skeleton, then I don't know what I have, but it's certainly NOT male.

While I don't believe any genetic male has a 'female skeleton' which is why I kept harping on certain TS being delusional and living in Bubbleworld :laugh:, there is such a thing as having a female build, or at least a build that is more female than male.

Yes, a transgirl who had HRT during puberty may very well develop female hips and a widened pelvis. As that is the time it occurs in natal females.

The 'female walk' is more of a gravity thing than a learned thing. At least the core difference is. Males have more upper body gravity as they carry most their weight in the upper body. Females have more lower body gravity carrying the bulk of their weight below the waist.
This affects the way we walk and how our stroll looks to others. Another aspect affecting the way females walk, is their hips and arms (as I described above).
Young girls don't study women walking to try to learn to walk like a female. The bulk of it comes naturally from body shape.
As a transwoman's body fat shifts from her waist and back to her hips and ass, the walk will come naturally as her center of gravity shifts.
Some aspects of the female walk won't come naturally and may even be impossible for a transwoman to develop.
Because she'll never have the wider hips (hip bones are already set after puberty) and her arms don't fall at the same angle (this too is set, probably from birth, and can't change) as natal females.
The only way HRT could widen the hip bones after puberty would be if by some miracle the bones hadn't set yet. Which is a long shot, but if it were possible it'd be in someone very young like late teens who had a later puberty or something. Still pretty doubtful.
There is also the knee difference between males and females which is the reason female athletes have frequent knee injuries. I'm not sure how or if it affects the walk, but it does affect how females run.

Quote from: Melissa on August 09, 2007, 02:30:57 PM
I am trying to be as honest as I can here and I'm trying to avoid making any claims based merely on perception.  That's why have backed off saying I know for sure I have a female skeleton.  If you want to throw around semantics though, I could say:
A. I am female
B. I have my skeleton
C. Therefore I have a female skeleton. ;)
That could apply to ALL TS though. ;D

In other words, I don't really care *what* I have, but it's mine! :icon_evil_laugh:  Ok, maybe I should lay off the coffee.

That's a good way of looking at it. :icon_woowoo:

Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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carol_w

Melissa,
One of the first things I noticed about your 'bikini pic' is where your elbow sits in relation to your waist.  A New Orleans policeman taught me a long time ago how to tell a GG from a trans-woman - a GG's elbow will be at their waist, where a trans-woman's elbow will be higher. 

What did I see when I looked at your picture?  Your elbow's pretty much at your waist.  Whoa.  That, plus looking at your overall shape, makes me understand why you think that you have an intersex condition of some kind.  I would agree.....

BTW, you're looking awesome. 

Carol
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Nero

Quote from: carol_w on August 09, 2007, 04:20:50 PM
Melissa,
One of the first things I noticed about your 'bikini pic' is where your elbow sits in relation to your waist.  A New Orleans policeman taught me a long time ago how to tell a GG from a trans-woman - a GG's elbow will be at their waist, where a trans-woman's elbow will be higher. 

What did I see when I looked at your picture?  Your elbow's pretty much at your waist.  Whoa.  That, plus looking at your overall shape, makes me understand why you think that you have an intersex condition of some kind.  I would agree.....

BTW, you're looking awesome. 

Carol

*cringes* Don't get that started again. :laugh:
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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Melissa

#28
Quote from:  link=topic=6719.msg135524#msg135524 date=1186693067
There is also the knee difference between males and females which is the reason female athletes have frequent knee injuries. I'm not sure how or if it affects the walk, but it does affect how females run.
That's right.  If I may remind you...

Quote from:  link=topic=16371.msg126443#msg126443 date=1184892887
Looking Good. Like the legs. They have that that - I don't know what to call it, but my legs never had it. The um shape, I guess. Mine were always straight tree stumps with huge muscular calves.

Quote from:  link=topic=6719.msg135524#msg135524 date=1186693067
That's a good way of looking at it. :icon_woowoo:
Thank you. :)

Quote from: carol_w on August 09, 2007, 04:20:50 PM
Melissa,
One of the first things I noticed about your 'bikini pic' is where your elbow sits in relation to your waist.  A New Orleans policeman taught me a long time ago how to tell a GG from a trans-woman - a GG's elbow will be at their waist, where a trans-woman's elbow will be higher. 

What did I see when I looked at your picture?  Your elbow's pretty much at your waist.  Whoa.  That, plus looking at your overall shape, makes me understand why you think that you have an intersex condition of some kind.  I would agree.....
:)

Quote from: carol_w on August 09, 2007, 04:20:50 PM
BTW, you're looking awesome.
Thank you. :)

Quote from:  link=topic=6719.msg135563#msg135563 date=1186695577
*cringes* Don't get that started again. :laugh:
Aww, don't worry about it. :D
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Davilee

As to the "elbow/arm" thingy.....what >I< meant is that my elbows are above my waist.....
and I can bend my elbows backwards as a fact.....it doesnt mean anything though
As to the digit ratio thing....I mustve read it wrong.....sorry
Hmmm....gee I didnt know there was a intersex police squad, passing down the approved litmus test.
Im sorry I dont fit into a little perfect notion of intersexed.
I dont know what I am genetically,I cant afford to medically check it.
I dont know for sure what my other internal reproductive organs are yet....cant afford to have a body scan.....
I just know that Im not completely male physically and Im certainly female mentally and in my heart

Im just trying to understand what I am,and discussing with others...for health reasons,I want to know what to exactly expect from my body if I change some medicine or treatment.
How about this being a NON judgemental zone...eh?
Are ya XY or XX?....you better be XX or youre in trooooublllllle.
When I get my IS official identification travel papers,I'll get back to ya....
BUT REALLY who needs to be defined by any certain term ,Im all kinds of things.....
I intended this with a light heart...

*not aimed at Melisa*
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Melissa

Quote from: Davilee on August 10, 2007, 12:28:46 AM
Hmmm....gee I didnt know there was a intersex police squad, passing down the approved litmus test.
Yeah, really. ::)

Quote from: Davilee on August 10, 2007, 12:28:46 AMI just know that Im not completely male physically and Im certainly female mentally and in my heart
I think a lot of TS fit that description.  Honestly, what does it matter whether you are TS or IS?  You are still the same person in the same body and feel the same way.  I gave up on trying to figure things out myself and it wasn't necessarily cheap either.  I guess I was hoping to find some answers to that phenomenon at the same time. :P

Quote from: Davilee on August 10, 2007, 12:28:46 AM
Im just trying to understand what I am,and discussing with others...for health reasons,I want to know what to exactly expect from my body if I change some medicine or treatment.
Right, I understand that perfectly.  I think some people assume ulterior motives (such as trying to gain acceptance or something).  But when everything you read says you will experience A, B, C, D, E, and F and then you go and transition and only experience A, D, and E, but you also experience G, H, I, J, K, and L (which seem to be undocumented results) as well, you want to know why you went through such a different experience than everyone else.  So you closely scrutinize all the evidence and start trying to piece together stuff for answers.  While looking at the evidence, you find there are many things different about yourself that don't quite fit body type A.  Then some people come along, see you doing this and start saying stuff along the lines of "I knew several people who did that before and they were only doing it for acceptance to show they had a more valid reason than us to transition, so you must be doing that too."  Then you tell them the reason why you are searching for answers and their reply is something like "Well, I know for a fact that body type A does not have those characteristics, so therefore you MUST be 'delusional'."

It's a response that makes you feel angry, and also torn between searching for the answers about yourself and avoiding conflict imposed by those who feel threatened by you wanting to find the answers.  It's a lose/lose situation and no matter how much you explain yourself just to get them to back off, they remain relentless as if they are the police or something.  To make matters worse, others back them up with the same fallacious reasoning.  Is that how it feels for you too?

Quote from: Davilee on August 10, 2007, 12:28:46 AMHow about this being a NON judgemental zone...eh?
If only that were true.  It seems that TS "support" groups tend to have a higher occurence of containing militants than many other groups. ::)

Quote from: Davilee on August 10, 2007, 12:28:46 AM*not aimed at Melisa*
:)
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nikki 46

i am new to this site and i am glad i found it . iuse to think i was alone looking like i do.i have all the outwardly looks of a female except i have no internal plumbing.for all its worth i have always  felt and acted  like a female .went thru the tests and all of  that stuff years ago it just told me what i already knew  that i was different.it is hard growing up not knowing just what you are but as i have gotten older i know i am different and i am totally ok with it .i dont feel like im a freak im just different.now i embrace the way i look. have been told i am a gorgus woman. and i love feeling and looking pretty
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martjan

hi its not a shame to be differnd and for that reason you must feel your self a freak
becuase if you feel your self a freak than i must be it also but feel my self not a freak
yes im difrend and have a difrend sex ima between the boy iam half a boy and half a girl i have boy part and girls parts in my body is that wrong than must i feel my self foor that reason a freak no so your so normal as you think you are
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looking4me

Concerning having your condition "verified" with medical tests.
What would it change?
You are much in the same boat as I am. I have lived acknowledging the male side of me for so long, that it would be suicide in a fashion to try to correct the problem.
Even if doctors could offer me a way to become a "normal" male or female, I just could not say good-bye to either of me.
What I hope to find is a way to just be me.
One thing that I am doing is thanking God for my condition, for I feel that I am a better human being a man and a woman. Even if the girl in me has been hidden for so long.
Maybe what we need is a place to go and talk to ourselves. I can relate to those who talk about the suppression and denial aspects of our condition.
Hang in there and learn to love yourself as you are!
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