I knew from a very young age, as long as I can remember. I knew then that I was a boy, not a girl. I would spend time every day pulling on my parts south of the border thinking it would turn into a penis like it was supposed to be if I did. When I hit puberty and started growing boobs I would push as hard on them as I could in hopes I could get them to stop growing and would only sleep on my stomach hoping to to do the same thing.

Now if you asked me when I knew I was trans thats a different question entirely. Unlike today where theres a word for it, there wasn't back then. I just a tomboy who was having a difficult time with puberty which I was told was normal but I would get used to it, so I didn't have a label for this until I got older. While I have had a great life so far, I do wish that I was growing up in todays generation where people are more or less free to be how they are not being told that its a phase they'll grow out of. Yes of course people will always say this and its a fact of life but today theres a name for it and a better understanding where as trans wasnt even a word that I had ever heard of or though people like me born into the wrong gender actually existed.... gotta love the age of the internet, when there wasn't even pagers much less cell phones until after I was an adult 

Quote from: overdrive on February 12, 2014, 01:48:35 PM
I knew from a very young age, as long as I can remember. I knew then that I was a boy, not a girl. I would spend time every day pulling on my parts south of the border thinking it would turn into a penis like it was supposed to be if I did. When I hit puberty and started growing boobs I would push as hard on them as I could in hopes I could get them to stop growing and would only sleep on my stomach hoping to to do the same thing.

Now if you asked me when I knew I was trans thats a different question entirely. Unlike today where theres a word for it, there wasn't back then. I just a tomboy who was having a difficult time with puberty which I was told was normal but I would get used to it, so I didn't have a label for this until I got older. While I have had a great life so far, I do wish that I was growing up in todays generation where people are more or less free to be how they are not being told that its a phase they'll grow out of. Yes of course people will always say this and its a fact of life but today theres a name for it and a better understanding where as trans wasnt even a word that I had ever heard of or though people like me born into the wrong gender actually existed.... gotta love the age of the internet, when there wasn't even pagers much less cell phones until after I was an adult 

Don't you mean born into the wrong sex, Sex and Gender I take sociology as of know.

Eff. It was hard for me.
And strange coming to terms (still trying to grasp it)
All my life, I was scared people would figure out I was a guy underneath it all. It was mostly subconscious... But I was always preoccupied with passing as a woman, because I knew I was male inside.

Add to it mommy issues... I had to be feminine for affection. period.
The first time I started to understand what I was... I was 12, and promptly shoved that crap back down and tried to "become a woman" as much and as quick as possible. I saw the hardship... that TG/TS people went through, heard my family's opinions... I couldn't take it.
Crap, I'm still not even out, it's all a big mind-screw.
A teacher of mine courageously came out in high school, and suddenly transition looked tangible. But then, when I was 17 I confided in a close friend my feelings and her reaction sent me into hiding again until age 21. When I finally came out to myself.

I tried starting transition with little support... got scared... and went into hiding again for 3 years and slight denial. Until just recently, dysphoria has become too much and something has got to give.

Quote from: Brandon on February 12, 2014, 02:23:08 PM

Don't you mean born into the wrong sex, Sex and Gender I take sociology as of know.

No, I meant exactly as I wrote and not sure why you are nitpicking my terminology. But I think of sex to include orientation and gender to be what the physical is. You may disagree, websters may disagree but thats the way I think of it. In any event, everyone except you knows what I mean by it, its just that nobody else felt the necessity to try and make a big deal out of a difference on terminology we use. Smdh

Quote from: overdrive on February 12, 2014, 03:29:40 PM
No, I meant exactly as I wrote and not sure why you are nitpicking my terminology. But I think of sex to include orientation and gender to be what the physical is. You may disagree, websters may disagree but thats the way I think of it. In any event, everyone except you knows what I mean by it, its just that nobody else felt the necessity to try and make a big deal out of a difference on terminology we use. Smdh

Right but gender and sex are different to bad you didn't realize that, Gender is in the brain, Hence why the doctors say sex of the baby I know what I'm talking about. You don't change genders you change sex. So think before you get an attitude with people. Again I took a pshycology and sociology, I checked the text books and that is what it says.

I have to say that I agree with Brandon here, it is generally accepted that sex means our physical configuration and gender means our innate sense of male/female/non-binary.  It helps a lot if we all stick to the same terminology to avoid offense and just so that people can easily understand what you're talking about.

Sorry to offend people but I find it incorrect to use gender and sex in the way that is defined. Would anyone have obsessed about the terminology if it wasnt brought up by Brandon? Likely no because people know what is meant. I think of sex and gender as reversed from what is technically correct, I don't think anyone is actually confused by my post because of it.

I don't see why there is an argument over this. We all know what overdrive meant, no need to nitpick over terminology. That's not the point of this thread.

Quote from: overdrive on February 12, 2014, 03:48:07 PM
Sorry to offend people but I find it incorrect to use gender and sex in the way that is defined. Would anyone have obsessed about the terminology if it wasnt brought up by Brandon? Likely no because people know what is meant. I think of sex and gender as reversed from what is technically correct, I don't think anyone is actually confused by my post because of it.

I'm not obsessing over it I'm just letting you know, I mean its bad enough people who are non trans use the terms interchangeably, but your trans and you go and use it incorrectly yea...... Nice one. I wasn't even trying to be rude about just letting you know.

If he made himself clear I wouldn't have said anything its funny though because when I don't make myself clear everyone wants to get all up on my tip about it but when he does it, Its ok. So no I didn't understand what he meant. You forget this is a forum not face to face. And no ones arguing were having a discussion. He shouldn't have got upset ......

Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 12, 2014, 03:51:51 PM
I don't see why there is an argument over this. We all know what overdrive meant, no need to nitpick over terminology. That's not the point of this thread.

Thank you that was my point exactly. I apologize for even responding to Brandons post, I should know better and have just let it go. I won't be reading any more of his responses to this thread so I won't be tempted to respond to him further.

Quote from: overdrive on February 12, 2014, 03:48:07 PM
Sorry to offend people but I find it incorrect to use gender and sex in the way that is defined. Would anyone have obsessed about the terminology if it wasnt brought up by Brandon? Likely no because people know what is meant. I think of sex and gender as reversed from what is technically correct, I don't think anyone is actually confused by my post because of it.

I wasn't confused, and only mentioned it because Brandon it, but I chipped in because it could be confusing in a different context where sex and gender was being discussed in a more confusing manner.  Sort of a "just for future reference thing".  I wouldn't say I was obsessing about it though.  You weren't offensive either, just that in other threads it could be misunderstood as offensive.

Back on topic now perhaps, I can see this ending up in another famous round-about discussion, and it's a shame because it's an interesting topic, and useful for newer people who have only heard the "known from birth" trans narrative before.

Quote from: lxndr on February 12, 2014, 04:29:38 PM
I wasn't confused, and only mentioned it because Brandon it, but I chipped in because it could be confusing in a different context where sex and gender was being discussed in a more confusing manner.  Sort of a "just for future reference thing".  I wouldn't say I was obsessing about it though.  You weren't offensive either, just that in other threads it could be misunderstood as offensive.

Back on topic now perhaps, I can see this ending up in another famous round-about discussion, and it's a shame because it's an interesting topic, and useful for newer people who have only heard the "known from birth" trans narrative before.

I agree with Alex I wasn't trying to cause an Arguement though,  All I ask is for clarification, because if it was someone else they would have gotten mad at you.

Back on topic now guys so this thread doesn't get locked..

Anyone else ever been accepted by all the guys in school but was excluded from certain activities because you were a "girl"?


I remember all the guys thinking of me as that cool "girl" that liked video games and understood all the stuff boys liked but when it came to sports they either didn't want me to play or took it easy on me. Like when we would play football, they wouldn't tackle me for example.

Quote from: lxndr on February 12, 2014, 04:29:38 PMBack on topic now perhaps, I can see this ending up in another famous round-about discussion, and it's a shame because it's an interesting topic, and useful for newer people who have only heard the "known from birth" trans narrative before.

Yeah and that it's ok not to have known from birth. Sometimes, I get the impression there's pressure to be like "I knew since I was a wee lad and never had any doubts ever and never wore or did anything girly, etc." While this is true for some guys, it isn't for everyone and I think it's important to respect that. It's ok to doubt, it's ok to not follow strict gender roles, and it's ok to take awhile to figure it out.

Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 12, 2014, 05:12:26 PM
Anyone else ever been accepted by all the guys in school but was excluded from certain activities because you were a "girl"?

My friends wouldn't play fight with me because I was female which sucked for me because I really like to fight.

Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 12, 2014, 05:12:26 PM
Back on topic now guys so this thread doesn't get locked..

Anyone else ever been accepted by all the guys in school but was excluded from certain activities because you were a "girl"?


I remember all the guys thinking of me as that cool "girl" that liked video games and understood all the stuff boys liked but when it came to sports they either didn't want me to play or took it easy on me. Like when we would play football, they wouldn't tackle me for example.

I leave myself out of the sports here when we do them at work for the most part because I know the guys would either make a fuss if I did as well as them, wouldn't want to throw the ball as hard to get me out, or something to make it obvious that I'm not male.  I've only gotten asked to play FIFA with them once too, but I declined because I've never had the opportunity to play before, don't care about football at all, and I didn't fancy ending up with a ridiculous forfeit.

Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 12, 2014, 05:12:26 PM
Back on topic now guys so this thread doesn't get locked..

Anyone else ever been accepted by all the guys in school but was excluded from certain activities because you were a "girl"?


I remember all the guys thinking of me as that cool "girl" that liked video games and understood all the stuff boys liked but when it came to sports they either didn't want me to play or took it easy on me. Like when we would play football, they wouldn't tackle me for example.

I guess I'm kinda lucky because I really didn't have to deal with that, I think it's because I'm so masculine that people forget. Even on my birthday last week the guys usually give out birthday hits and I go them , as far as sports I really haven't had a problem, I like to run 3 point challenges or 3 on 3 in the gym, Ive also played tackle football, I guess it depends on how masculine you are or how well you carry yourself as a man, Because me personally, I won't put my hands on a female unless say for instance I'm play fight with my girlfriend or other girls at my school. To alot of people I guess it just depends but if you don't let anyone know then no one will everyone.

Quote from: lxndr on February 12, 2014, 05:20:03 PM
I leave myself out of the sports here when we do them at work for the most part because I know the guys would either make a fuss if I did as well as them, wouldn't want to throw the ball as hard to get me out, or something to make it obvious that I'm not male.  I've only gotten asked to play FIFA with them once too, but I declined because I've never had the opportunity to play before, don't care about football at all, and I didn't fancy ending up with a ridiculous forfeit.

I suck at football. (soccer for the non-football fans :p) I'm clueless on how to dribble the ball correctly and kick it accurately. Although, I do love watching it; it is my second favorite sport after ice hockey. I suck at a bunch of other sports too.. really the only sports I'm good at are hockey and.. is riding and doing tricks on a scooter a sport lol? But it still feels bad to be left out of sports just because I happened to be born female. I don't understand why females are looked at as weaker than males and I wish I could tell the guys that I'm trans but I haven't been able to. Only a few people know I'm trans.

Thanks y'all--I agree that it's important to get a lot of different stories out there and I'm really glad to see the variety here.

A really important point for me was learning the word cis, because that was when it started to click for me that that wasn't what I was. I'd felt disconnected from my body, my name, social expectations, and so on for years, I knew what trans was and I was friends with a trans guy, but the dots didn't really connect. Most of what I heard about trans folk was the trapped-in-the-wrong-body, always-known-since-preschool, born-with-a-birth-defect narrative, and while elements of that occasionally resonated with me, that just wasn't what I felt. But sitting in the room getting the rundown on terminology and trying to fit the word cisgender onto myself just didn't work.

Sometime later that year, I was at soccer practice and I was talking about trans people in a third person, I'm not trans kind of way, and my friend (a trans guy) sort of matter-of-factly told me I was trans. I immediately told him no, not at all, and he explained that he meant it in an umbrella term way and I should go look it up. I thought about it on and off for a while, and then one day when I was chilling in a public library I found myself in the queer section, I picked up a trans book for kicks, and for the first time started to recognize parts of myself in some of the stories. I went back to my friend and told him that I was maybe kind of a little bit possibly trans in the umbrella sense of the word.

But then I didn't really do much with it, in terms of thinking through who I was and what I wanted, because I had tons of other things to deal with for a few years. When other things started to settle down and I started being able to handle them in healthier way, I noticed again that nothing had gotten better about my gender. That was another turning point--I had been presenting in a pretty masculine way for years, and I was increasingly unwilling to apologize for it, but with more mental space and a lil more maturity, I started paying more attention to how deeply set the dissonance with my body was. It feels like I then spent forever just trying to work through and process everything and make sure I was really sure that I was trans, but actually there was only about a year and a half between then and making my first appointment to work on getting T.

I never wanted to be a boy. I just always was. You can imagine my surprise and shock when I found out that no one could see me. Instead their eyes were/are so bad that they saw/see a girl. It took me a while to figure out that they actually meant me. Hard to describe but that is sort of what it was.