My therapist believes that E can be an excellent diagnostic tool. After taking for a short time, you know pretty quickly if it feels right for you. I read others here express similar a opinion. Well after just 4 days, it feels completely right. I don't know if it's just a placebo effect, but my mental state has change dramatically for the better. It is like I was always meant to have this in my bloodstream. And with that thought ..... I had this strange realization that this all very real now. This is what I am supposed to do, and unless I run away from it right now, this thing will gain so much momentum that SRS will certainly be my future. And that scared me a little. 

It shouldn't  scare you as long as you know why your doing it. I chose this path because this is who I've been all my life and its my only choice I have to stay alive.

Well said.

The feelings you describe will mature over the next few months.

Get used to being frightened. We often go through a mourning process of our own, when we transition. No matter how great it feels, we do leave something behind.

So happy it works for you!

That's pretty much exactly what I felt about 4 days into HRT.  I'm now on week 5 and my Dr. has just doubled my dosage.   The good news is, it gets better and better.   

I felt quite good on the first days, but it was probably placebo effect...I was so anxious about starting HRT and the thought of having my body working the way it should have been since the beginning made me feel extremely happy.

But it didn't last more than a few days...and then I started questioning a lot of things...if I was doing the right thing and how far I would go.

I was planning o "test" HRT for three months and stop at this mark if I wasn't happy with my results, as I could go back with minor breast development and no issues about getting sterile.

But as months passed I was each day more certain that I am a female. I can't see me the other way anymore and staying in boy mode is becoming a struggle for me. I feel so tuned, so calm and relaxed...it is almost impossible to describe it. I gathered a lot of pics from me since I started HRT and I can see clearly my face going from a sad lost boy into the girl I am inside. I smile much more now, I feel great, even having to deal with family issues. I am totally sure I must go all the way to SRS.

So, HRT indeed made me see and cleared all my doubts. For me it was the perfect diagnostic tool.

I remember after 1 week there were so many positive mental changes. Perhaps the calm and ending the war in my mind are the two best things from HRT. Oh and boobies too

Its like being set free.. I would never stop.. I look forward every week to my shots.  After almost two months...I am so happy....Its hard to explain the feeling.. and when your body starts changing it is so wonderful.
Enjoy the ride..
Carrie

Quote from: April Lee on February 13, 2014, 03:43:37 PM
My therapist believes that E can be an excellent diagnostic tool. After taking for a short time, you know pretty quickly if it feels right for you. I read others here express similar a opinion. Well after just 4 days, it feels completely right. I don't know if it's just a placebo effect, but my mental state has change dramatically for the better. It is like I was always meant to have this in my bloodstream. And with that thought ..... I had this strange realization that this all very real now. This is what I am supposed to do, and unless I run away from it right now, this thing will gain so much momentum that SRS will certainly be my future. And that scared me a little.

Estradiol hits the brain pretty quickly.  As the levels start to build you may very well become euphoric.

Don't be scared.  SRS is another level.

During the first few days I felt the same way, turns out it was the euphoric high from realizing that I was starting my journey. I knew right after 7 days that this was the right path for me when my breast's began to bud. Everything felt so right for me that I don't want to go back to how I was. Sure I feel scared about the things I'm doing but that's normal from the people I've talked to, it's not easy but transitioning is a very hard thing to do but well worth it when you know that's your path in life.

well, for me each day forward just closes the door on going backward

Quote from: April Lee on February 13, 2014, 03:43:37 PM
My therapist believes that E can be an excellent diagnostic tool. After taking for a short time, you know pretty quickly if it feels right for you. I read others here express similar a opinion. Well after just 4 days, it feels completely right. I don't know if it's just a placebo effect, but my mental state has change dramatically for the better. It is like I was always meant to have this in my bloodstream. And with that thought ..... I had this strange realization that this all very real now. This is what I am supposed to do, and unless I run away from it right now, this thing will gain so much momentum that SRS will certainly be my future. And that scared me a little.

April
HRT is marvellous and it does have an immediate and pronounced impact - dysphoria to euphoria, but remember you always have choice.  You can slow it down, turn it up.  You are in control.  SRS may well be on your path but it isn't inevitable and there are many other choices.  Travel well and travel safe.
Aisla

Don't be scared April. If this is your path then accept it and walk it - life is *so* much better with the right chemical in your brain. A week on E will tell you something, but after 8-10 weeks you'll know for certain if E is for you. If E is for you then don't think too far into the future, just take each day as it comes and see what it holds - you transition will run the usual course over time, and each step will happen when it needs to happen and all will be OK 

Hello girls

For me, on 3 days it was an immediate Euphoria.   Breast development started fast too, slowly but ecstatically definite.

I love estrogen.  I do not like testosterone.  And on sublinguals, I get that same pleasent euphoria about an hour to 2 after each dose.  I also get a very definite color perception spike.  The red/pink side is prettier and more vibrant.  I am totally convinced I was designed from the beginning for estrogen.

I am menopausal in the mornings for about an hour.  If I miss a dose by an hour or two, I crash physically.

As to the fear, I vacilate from peace and happiness to occasional intense fear of the future.  Its not self doubt it is all about fear of rejection.  As time passes, fears diminish.

I have a really good therapist.  I hope you have a similar experience with your transition - not the fears, the reality of living who you actually are and loving it.

And since estrogen, after a few months, I noticed I was having sustained periods of genuine happy while driving.  I still have these moments when life issues are not heavy.  That is fairly new.

Enjoy

I choose to live stealth.  It probably changes the experience a lot since I don't have to pass, actually I have to do the exact opposite, but who knows.

I had a similar experience after starting HRT April, and after a few weeks it just felt like it was how I should have felt all my life.  The only downside for me was hot flushes.  I didn't experience any mood swings or similar. 
Having spent a couple of months off Hormones before and after surgery I can attest to the fact that life is better with E.  I felt very edgy and generally ucomfortable while I was off HRT, but now that I am back on it I feel much calmer.
Everyone is different, so I would suggest just listening to your body and staying in close touch with your Doctors, and all should be fine.
Karen.

Yep, been feeling much more together and generally happier. Sure, I'm not on cloud 9 all the time but the lows aren't quite so low.

Estradiol is a powerful antidepressant. Enjoy!

Just waiting to start after 50 years! Will be a rebirth for me. Must not have too many unrealistic ecxpectations

I'm 53 and started 9 months ago. I have a female body, the breasts of a 14 year old, and growing, and a much softer feminized face. Especially my eyes. Female skin. All my hair returned.

At the 3 day mark it was like I read in an earlier post, my body has been starving for this all my life. So many many things for me have just fell into place perfectly with my body and mind. And at 50 that's a powerful feeling. Even though I've been out and living as female for the last 5 years, I know now I shouldn't have waited all these years to start my hrt no matter what the consequences were. And now after a month and a half in I've never been more positive about life, I know who I am, and that I can be me. For me SRS is a certainty after I've let the hormones do their thing. As for now though, hair is coming back in thicker and though long now is growing fast, I've already noticed changes in my facial structure becoming more feminine around my eyes, chin, ears and even my nose -which by the way is my worse facial feature, lol! I wake up each day happy and excited to get out and do things. I could go on and on. Enjoy the ride girl, I know I sure am.

April I am so happy for you and hope to follow you on my own journey. I can't wait .