A couple weeks ago, I was part of a 45-person song collaboration. In the video, I present as female and am credited under my girl name. The video came out, and I was real happy with the way the video came out. So I sent a newsletter to my mailing list, about the video. (I'm a musician and a performer and stuff). My uncle, who's a sweet, caring, funny, wonderful person, replied, addressing my name in quotes, with something to the effect of, "You're not a girl. If you want to be a woman, then change your last name back to your dad's name and grow a vagina."

Obviously, I was upset by this. I went into my (volunteer) job later that day and talked to my boss about it. She had some good insight and a suggestion on how to handle the situation. I later replied. I thanked my uncle for writing and told him that I was glad he liked the video, but what he said hurt my feelings a little.

My uncle felt so bad about it. He apologized and told me that he loves me no matter who I choose to be. That felt so good. He even called my mom to talk about how bad he felt about it. I feel like we're even closer because of this.

Right now I'm going through some hardships in my life. I'm broke, unemployed, and I'm losing my house. Despite all of this, so many friends, family, and people I volunteer with have been so loving and supportive of me, that it's brought me to tears. I feel so, so loved. Despite all of the hardships I'm going through, I've never felt more loved -- on Valentine's Day, no less!

I was explaining all of this to my mom on the phone tonight. When I mentioned the dialogue with my uncle, she told me she thought I overreacted to that. Feeling disowned and implied that I was some delusional freak, and calmly stating that my feelings were hurt a little -- and I overreacted. Then she accused me of mimicking somebody else's words. And then she asked in an accusing tone, why I had to share my personal life with people.

You can't argue with crazy, so I hung up the phone.

My mom can be so juvenile! Sometimes it's like she has the emotional development of a twelve year-old. What frightens me, is that I'm just like her. We're so similar! And she's just like my grandmother, who is an eighty year-old child. My grandmother is nothing like my great grandmother.

i hate when parents expect you to just hide in your house all day.. my father said, "why are you so compelled to share this part of you wit everybody?" maybe you mom (like my dad) is embarassed about people knowing that she has a trans daughter. I hope she come around

I am sorry you Mom is not supportive of who you are. It sounds like as you break a barrier into public exposure she is reacting to what others say. Transition affects the family not just the individual. Sounds like she is having a difficult time dealing with the feelings and identity support for you. She may be reacting without knowing how it is affecting you.

Lesser evolved parents view children as an extension or reflection of themselves.  Like having a trans kid will damage the way others see them, as if that really mattered anyways.

I think that the hardships created by being trans really creates depth and character in people.  Part of what makes trans people so interesting.   

I'm sorry to hear that. Oddly enough my father is the one who is completely fine with me being transgender but my mother who refuses to see eye to eye with me on it. It seems really backwards.

It's comforting to know that other folks here go through the same thing. It's not surprising, but it's comforting. I'm not alone, and neither are you.

I'm sorry you had that experience. Parents sometimes are the ones that are the most adept at cruelty to their children.

But we love them anyway and hope that they will grow, just as we too continue to grow... metaphorically and in our special case, physically as well.

Riven: I completely understand. I was shocked that my father turned out to be the supportive parent! People can surprise us, ne?

I live in a one parent home and my mother took it very, very well. Even went so far as to help me buy a binder. However, we have not yet told the rest of my family about me being transsexual. They are quite the religious bunch so perhaps you can see where my fear is coming from. I have a strong bond with my grandmother and don't want to ruin it. But we were talking about my uncle having two dads somewhere and somehow and she was like "I don't approve of it but to each their own."