This is a question I would like to put to those living full time in the female role, including post-op and those doing RLE.

Is life as a woman as good as you imagined it would be?

Quote from: louise000 on August 11, 2007, 02:29:27 AM

Is life as a woman as good as you imagined it would be?

Absolutely!

Being post-op, I'm FINALLY me and living a life that makes sense.  I'd do it all over again in a second.

tink

Quote from: louise000 on August 11, 2007, 02:29:27 AM
This is a question I would like to put to those living full time in the female role, including post-op and those doing RLE.

Is life as a woman as good as you imagined it would be?

Life is what you make of it regardless of being post op, living full time as a woman.

Yes it is better, but only because I put all the effort into work, relationships, sport and living that I failed to do miserably as a guy.

You can transition with problems and still not be happy if you dont overcome those problems.

Buffy

I dont think I ever imagined what life as a woman would be like before I transitioned to be honest, I just kinda reached a point where I had to transition so I just got on with it.  But I think Tink and Buffy have summed it up for me really in as much as life is only what you make of it and you still have to make an effort, but its great when you get the rewards back from putting that effort in whilst at the same time just being able to be yourself.

Becky
xx

Quote from: louise000 on August 11, 2007, 02:29:27 AM
This is a question I would like to put to those living full time in the female role, including post-op and those doing RLE.

Is life as a woman as good as you imagined it would be?

The major problem for me personally is that my expectations on how female I would look were too high. The limitations with hormones were not explained to me nor the fact that a lot of surgery lays ahead in order to achieve the point I need to get to.

I certainly prefer the way things are now and I find people are more pleasant towards me, hold doors open for me, let me jump que's, let me out of traffic, people (both male and female) smile at me more etc and life is generally far more pleasant than it was before.

For me it was very difficult living in a male role and to a certain extent I didn't really conform to it. I never wore male clothes, and prefered wearing girls jeans and tops since I was 13. I never had a hair cut and so confusion about what my gender was had been an issue for people for a long time.

The short answer is I had almost no expectations; Or said another way I had a pretty good idea what HRT would be like; Yes, HRT meets my expectations.

But, "WOMAN", Who me? I think you have the wrong girl.

That's the thing, for me I do not feel like a Woman; I do not have anything to base off of, I have very little in common with the majority of people (male or female). I do not have any hope of being pretty, although it remains to be seen whether or not I can manage it. I fear to use ANY public restroom. I am not even remotely comfortable with the thought of dating. I see very little hope of my life being 'normal', and while I do not have much problem with that, this and other things make me think that I have NO CLUE what it is to be a Woman.  For now, I am just a scared little girl trying to survive in a harsh environment.


All things considered I would cry if it was worth shedding tears over. Life is better now than it was before, regardless.

Quote from: louise000 on August 11, 2007, 02:29:27 AM
This is a question I would like to put to those living full time in the female role, including post-op and those doing RLE.

Is life as a woman as good as you imagined it would be?

Good or bad is probably to simplistic a way to define such a profound change. I would say that my transition went beyond my wildest expectations but that doesn't necessarily equal Nirvana, that is not achievable through bodily changes and usually requires several lifetimes.

As strange as it may seem, as I move along my path, the physical has become less important, my spiritual self matters, oddly though, I think the cessation of GID has allowed my mind to pursue the truly important paths.

I read these threads questioning whether life will be good or bad, will we find love, will we pass and if not will we kill ourselves. In my view, these are wrong and destructive thoughts and only will lead to suffering. Before I transitioned I never allowed myself to worry about how good or bad my life would be, I only knew it was something I had to do. The alternative would not have been good.

All that said, it is wonderful having the outer match the inner and living life in my correct gender but anticipating that this is a path to happiness is not right-minded.

Interestingly I concur, for me spirituality has taken a massive upturn, but I attribute this to no longer being able to ignore, explain and other wise write off my thoughts as fantasy as they felt exactly the same as being a girl did; This is to say part of my "naw, can't be!" existence has been validated and I could no longer turn a blind eye. Amusingly I find my spiritual existence very much beyond my wildest expectations and far closer to be incline with my wildest dreams as it were; Of course, that is just the good idea but the details do not matter to anyone else.

The short form is that transition caused probably the most important turning point I have experienced in a number of lives it would seem. ^*shrug* I did start out by saying that transsexualism is a blessing after all and it seems to have turned out that, for me, it is indeed.

Transsexuality is a blessing. It is after all, what we are, if we were not trans then we would be someone else. If we love ourselves, and finally I am learning to do this, then truly we must be blessed.

If we stop cling and craving to the superficial ideals of passing, being pretty, being loved,whatever and just be content to be, we will be on the path to right-mindedness.

Quote from: louise000 on August 11, 2007, 02:29:27 AM
This is a question I would like to put to those living full time in the female role, including post-op and those doing RLE.

Is life as a woman as good as you imagined it would be?

I discovered one thing that I do think is important, Louise. That is that my imagination often got in my way before and during the early stages.

Actually, when I found myself taking for granted that I am and am seen and live a female life in American society. Well ... that is when I found I am a woman. It just creeped up on me and enclosed me. No effort required except that effort one makes to just be herself.

I know that sounds trite and unbelievable, except that some of the above posters seem to have found the same truth in living as I have.

HUGS, and I am sure you will do fine, just be patient with yourself and give that process time to work itself out in your life.

Nichole

The irony is the more one achieves acceptance the less important it becomes. For me at least.

I don't think I had any expectations either. I had a dream, from the time I was very little, I wanted to be female. My dream came true. I love it, I feel whole as I didn't before and yes all the same problems that I had before, they were still there, but they weren't so bad anymore. I was happy, genuinly happy. I wish I could have done this years ago. Just think of the life I could have had. If you are in the same frame of mind I was with my gender, then I say go for it. It isn't for everyone.
Sheila

I never really had expetations... but Im more than plesantly supprised...  Life is sooooooo much better when your enjoying yourself and not constantly brooding or worse. Seriously... the diffrence is liveing my life... instead of just being alive <if you could call it that>

I guess I am kinda different because I always assumed it would be terrible. I always figured I would never pass. I figured I would be disowned and end up living a lonely life in the shadows as people made fun of me and pointed at me. I figured I would never find anyone to love or to love me. I really thought it would be very bad. I never thought I would be some pretty young passable girl, even when I was young. It all just seemed impossible.

That was until it became the last thing to try. I already tried killing myself, I knew I could do that. When I started living my life as a woman, all the bad things didn't happen to me. I felt and exhilaration I had never felt before. My depression left me and so did my anger. It turns out I was only angry at myself, for being so afraid to be who I was intended to be.

I was accepted by my children, filed for divorce, met and fell in love with a wonderful woman who accepts me for who I am. I have returned to college and have a better life than I have ever had. So for me it was much better than anything I ever imagined. Just not having to hate myself anymore. Knowing I am being true to myself. It's really all that matters.

Love always,
Elizabeth

Quote from: melissa90299 on August 11, 2007, 08:32:25 AM
If we stop cling and craving to the superficial ideals of passing, being pretty, being loved,whatever and just be content to be, we will be on the path to right-mindedness.

Superficial?

I tried the nirvana thing. I DO get it. But I don't want it. I want to be IN this world, not above it, not melted into a cosmic consciousness, not at one with everything, not right-minded, not without ego.

I WANT to feel what's it's like to be alive, mud and warts and wounds and all. I want to BE, but as an identity, as a person, and as a woman. I've been a nobody for four decades, and I so desperately need to exist now. That's my game this time around, my play. Sure, in the back of my mind I know it's just a game. I know I'm the actor, writer, stage and script of my own story. But that doesn't stop me from trying to live it as best I can.

I don't want to overcome in. I want to lose myself into it and FORGET.

But it doesn't look like life is going to allow me that blessing. I'm cursed to KNOW.

QuoteIs life as a woman as good as you imagined it would be?

I never really thought about it in those terms. I never imagined it as being good or bad, just as necessary. It's just something I had to do.

That being said, I don't know if it's going to be enough. Life as a sorta-maybe-woman isn't going to cut it for me. I appreciate and admire the amazing spiritual achievements I see here, and I strive to embody them as well... but I don't think I ever will. More and more, they feel like compensations and compromises to me. Survival techniques. I don't want to be an enlightened soul, every day a new test of my spiritual resolve and wisdom.

All I wanted was to laugh in the rain, be kissed by a boy, get my feelings hurt by gossipy girlfriends, whine about my clothes never fitting right, order my fries without confusing anyone... just be a normal, boring, run-of-the-mill woman. A normal girl. A normal life.

But I've seen too much, realized too much, and The Truth is killing me inside now. I knew that risk when I opened Pandora's box, but I thought there was just no other way but through. I don't see an end to this tunnel. I can't remake the past.

I can't forget. Nor apparently will this world.

~Kate~

QuoteBut I've seen too much, realized too much, and The Truth is killing me inside now.

What truth? The truth that others see as you? As long as we let others define us, we will suffer. Hold on to that ego, babe.

Quote from: Kate on August 12, 2007, 02:08:42 AM
...
I don't want to overcome in. I want to lose myself into it and FORGET.

But it doesn't look like life is going to allow me that blessing. I'm cursed to KNOW.
...

Wow!!!!!!!
That is an insane standard to attempt to meet. Kate, there is no way other than to overcome. Everything!!!! You have to overcome gravity and barometric pressure just to keep breathing. Life is a continual struggle for everyone, not just transsexuals. I am sorry, but the reality of the world is that transsexuality is something that must be overcome. The world we live in refuses to accept this is part of the human condition. It is out of our control. You are not cursed because you can not control what others think, say or do. Let yourself off the hook. In another universe we run the Transtriarche, and we are gods over the cisgendered. But not this one.

Love always,
Elizabeth

Kate:

QuoteI tried the nirvana thing. I DO get it.

In all due respect, that statement reveals that you do not get it. I don't know anyone personally who has reached the state of Nirvana. Buddhism is not something someone tries. It took me two years of exploration and four months of intense study to begin to understand.

Most Westerners will NEVER get it. I feel very blessed that I am beginning to.

Posted on: August 13, 2007, 10:30:28 AM

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Quote from: Elizabeth on August 13, 2007, 06:30:13 AM

Quote from: Kate on August 12, 2007, 02:08:42 AM
...
I don't want to overcome in. I want to lose myself into it and FORGET.

But it doesn't look like life is going to allow me that blessing. I'm cursed to KNOW.
...

Wow!!!!!!!
That is an insane standard to attempt to meet. Kate, there is no way other than to overcome. Everything!!!! You have to overcome gravity and barometric pressure just to keep breathing. Life is a continual struggle for everyone, not just transsexuals. I am sorry, but the reality of the world is that transsexuality is something that must be overcome. The world we live in refuses to accept this is part of the human condition. It is out of our control. You are not cursed because you can not control what others think, say or do. Let yourself off the hook. In another universe we run the Transtriarche, and we are gods over the cisgendered. But not this one.

Love always,
Elizabeth

That is Nirvana!

Quote from: regina on August 13, 2007, 11:36:20 AM
[Purely speaking for myself...]

I don't believe in Nirvana or some ultimate enlightenment. We all go to the bathroom and need to wipe, last time I looked.

The Dali Lama doesn't.



Posted on: August 13, 2007, 02:43:57 PM

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Quote from: regina on August 13, 2007, 11:36:20 AM


Never would I present myself as other than someone who continues to deal with a lot of self-doubts, insecurities, body issues, sadness, loss... the whole enchilada. There is no way that my transitioning is going to empty the hamper of all that.

I do not know how much transitioning and being freed of GID has contributed to it, but I do know that I am experiencing a profound enlightenment that teaches me how to eliminate self-doubts, insecurities, sadness, loneliness and all other attachments and cravings from my life.  And it coincided with "completing" my transition.

       Being passable I would think is very improtant.  For me, It is all about being as passable as I can. How much will I practice voice training?  Am I dieting for a thinner womanly body. If I do all I can, I think I should have nothing to worry about. I can then say i did all I can and accept it as what it is. How I feel about myself will project an image of who, what I am and thinking.
            Ok sorry , back to the Topic.  Angie,