Originaly got up in time to go to class, then just couldn't.
I should probably drop all of them, to save myself from getting kicked out.

My friend stopped coming to school on days when I'm there (not because of me I don't think- he only went on tuesday because he had a lab). I'm not sure why since he has classes, but I don't like it.

I can't face my wife and tell her I really want to transition.

Blah, the insomnia monster had it's way with me again 

Had laser 3 hours ago and the numbing cream just wore off.  I feel like mah face is on fi-yerrr.

Lonely. :/

Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 17, 2014, 06:21:25 PM
Lonely. :/

*gives you a big hug*

Lonely but never alone, sweetie. Never forget that.

Just everything. I'm a failure and a nobody. I really hate my life right now.

Got served court papers today my ex wife is taking me to family court to try and get custody of my daughter who lives with me.

Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 17, 2014, 08:25:16 PM
Just everything. I'm a failure and a nobody. I really hate my life right now.

Mr. Hockey please stop! You are not a failure and you need to un-hate your life, you are unique and special in my estimation and you need to lighten up on yourself and quit turning into a "poor me sour-wuss."

Quote from: Shantel on February 17, 2014, 08:34:16 PM
Mr. Hockey please stop! You are not a failure and you need to un-hate your life, you are unique and special in my estimation and you need to lighten up on yourself and quit turning into a "poor me sour-wuss."

Un-hate my life? Hmph if only.

I'm a total screw-up and a complete loser. No one understands what I'm going through and no one cares. I really only have one friend, and even he I can't talk to about anything personal. I find no reason to keep living.

Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 17, 2014, 08:40:37 PM
I'm a total screw-up and a complete loser. No one understands what I'm going through and no one cares. I really only have one friend, and even he I can't talk to about anything personal. I find no reason to keep living.

I know this may sound like a cliche, but you just have to keep going. That's all you can do, dude. Outside of my family, I have no one to talk to so I have an idea of what you are going through. It sucks when you have no one around that can relate to you on the same level, being the same age, etc.

But, you just have to keep going. It's certainly better than just giving up.

The hell with that. Life is too short to do that, man.

Mr hockey. If you have 1 friend then your doing better than me

Quote from: Laura Squirrel on February 17, 2014, 08:46:45 PM
I know this may sound like a cliche, but you just have to keep going. That's all you can do, dude. Outside of my family, I have no one to talk to so I have an idea of what you are going through. It sucks when you have no one around that can relate to you on the same level, being the same age, etc.

But, you just have to keep going. It's certainly better than just giving up.

The hell with that. Life is too short to do that, man.

I can't. I just can't.

What's the point of going on with my life if I'll most likely never transition the way I want to? I'm not even sure if I can keep being trans.. there's too much stress involved with this and no one understands me. The one girl I could talk to about anything and meant the world to me is gone and I have nothing.

Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 17, 2014, 08:40:37 PM
Un-hate my life? Hmph if only.

I'm a total screw-up and a complete loser. No one understands what I'm going through and no one cares. I really only have one friend, and even he I can't talk to about anything personal. I find no reason to keep living.

You are not a loser, you have many friends here and people do care - Do not give up

Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 17, 2014, 08:50:51 PM
What's the point of going on with my life if I'll most likely never transition the way I want to?

I thought the same thing a few years back when I faced the harsh truth that I could never afford GRS or FFS and my only option was have an orchi or throw in the towel and kill myself.

I decided to go with the orchi and told the idea of suicide to go screw itself. I wont lie and tell you that I didn't feel depressed at first because I did. For three days straight I was miserable. I felt like my transition was a failure and I was basically screwed. But once that subsided, I got to work on looking for a surgeon and I let time take its course.

Sometimes, life throws you a curveball and you just have to roll with it.



And when that curveball comes at ya, take a lesson from this little lady and smack that sucker out of the park.

Thanks everyone.. you know I'm sorry for being so sour lately but I've been going through a lot and I needed to get it out.

My dysphoria has been crippling these past few days. I wish I could have top and bottom surgery tomorrow; that's how bad it's been. I'm so envious of people who were born male... why did I have to be born this way? I absolutely hate my female body.

My mom doesn't understand a single thing. She won't call the Pride Center so I can speak to someone about what I'm going through and keeps treating me like a girl. How many times do I have to tell her that I'm transgender?

Just some stuff that was a li'l triggering for me.

No big deal but... yeah. Sometimes it's hard.

My little nephew broke down and started crying out of nowhere today because he thinks I love his newborn brother more than I love him.  He's been thinking this for a week but no matter how much I tell him that I love them both and his sister equally, he doesn't believe me.  Hopefully I got this sorted out today so I won't have to deal with it in the future.  It seems like I have to watch how much affection I give the newborn.  I can't help it though since he's so soft, cuddly, cute, and adorable, but apparently my other nephew feels neglected, even though I always spend time with him every time I see him.

My supervisor resigned from work today and I feel devastated. Apart from having a great working relationship with her she has been actively supportive of my transition process. I'll get over it and we'll just move onto the next person in the role but I'm surprised by how emotional and close to crying about I've been all day.