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"One day Daddy is going to be an old man...."

Started by thevaliantx, February 17, 2014, 01:02:07 PM

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thevaliantx

February 17, 2014, 01:02:07 PM Last Edit: February 17, 2014, 03:36:59 PM by thevaliantx
Those were the words of my wife as our seven year old son wrestled with me.  I said nothing, but boy was I seething.   >:(

EDIT:  Has anyone here dealt with something like this?  Did she really believe me the last time when I told her I was done transitioning?  Did I really believe myself?  How does one counteract this?  Increasingly I feel this is going to come to a head.  If she is unwillingly to take care of her own body, then why can't I change mine?
10-13 tried mother's finger nail polish, dresses and her heels
23 phase of body building and then suddenly cross dressing and wearing makeup
26 started calling myself Kristy in my voicemail recording
36 saw therapist, went on HRT and partially identified as Kristy
37 moved and started HRT again, dressing a little more feminitely
41 started HRT again, and wife made agreement if I would give up Kristy
45 started HRT again, this time for good, because wife didn't hold up her end of the agreement.  New agreement with 11 year old son and wife is that Kristy be present only at certain times and not around strangers or family, unless they are ready to be a part of Kristy.
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Nero

#1
February 18, 2014, 07:20:17 AM
thevaliantx,

I'm sorry you had to hear that, but is it possible she simply forgot for a moment? It's an expression. And this is the SO section. I doubt you'll get much sympathy here making rude comments about your wife.
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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thevaliantx

#2
February 18, 2014, 07:46:06 AM
I didn't realize that suggesting that someone not taking care of their body, yet being controlling of what I do to mine, is rude.  I wasn't looking for sympathy, but rather others' experiences.  She hadn't forgotten anything regarding my transition, as I found out this morning.  Maybe I shouldn't invite her here?
10-13 tried mother's finger nail polish, dresses and her heels
23 phase of body building and then suddenly cross dressing and wearing makeup
26 started calling myself Kristy in my voicemail recording
36 saw therapist, went on HRT and partially identified as Kristy
37 moved and started HRT again, dressing a little more feminitely
41 started HRT again, and wife made agreement if I would give up Kristy
45 started HRT again, this time for good, because wife didn't hold up her end of the agreement.  New agreement with 11 year old son and wife is that Kristy be present only at certain times and not around strangers or family, unless they are ready to be a part of Kristy.
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blueconstancy

#3
February 18, 2014, 07:52:52 AM
If you invite her here, I promise to be supportive and sympathetic, as I have been (to the best of my recollection) to all the SOs who have posted here. This is the section intended specifically for us; if you're looking for similar experiences from trans people, you may want to try posting in those sections. I don't know how many SOs will have had (or want to share) this experience from the other side... I know I wouldn't even if I could, since it'd seem cruel to repost nasty comments I'd said to my wife so that they could hurt you too*.

As for "since you let yourself go, why can't I transition," yeah, I can see why that might not be the most persuasive argument for her.


*I haven't actually said anything like this to her, but hypothetically.
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thevaliantx

#4
February 18, 2014, 08:47:18 AM
I'm sorry for implying that I actually said something like that to my wife, it's not something I would say to her.  Would you be so kind as to move my thread to the appropriate forum?  Seeing that I got off on the wrong foot here, real fast, you have my blessings to edit it as you please.  Which forums do I need to be in? 
10-13 tried mother's finger nail polish, dresses and her heels
23 phase of body building and then suddenly cross dressing and wearing makeup
26 started calling myself Kristy in my voicemail recording
36 saw therapist, went on HRT and partially identified as Kristy
37 moved and started HRT again, dressing a little more feminitely
41 started HRT again, and wife made agreement if I would give up Kristy
45 started HRT again, this time for good, because wife didn't hold up her end of the agreement.  New agreement with 11 year old son and wife is that Kristy be present only at certain times and not around strangers or family, unless they are ready to be a part of Kristy.
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Nero

#5
February 18, 2014, 09:07:41 AM
Well, there's the general trans talk forum, the mtf forum, etc. the Arggh! forum is helpful if this is more of a vent. Which would you like?
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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thevaliantx

#6
March 01, 2014, 11:56:47 PM
Would you mind putting it in the forum where you feel mostly 'fair' (I'm open to hearing both sides) conversation would result from the thread?  Otherwise, I have no problem in it being deleted, though I'm sure others have experienced something similar. 
10-13 tried mother's finger nail polish, dresses and her heels
23 phase of body building and then suddenly cross dressing and wearing makeup
26 started calling myself Kristy in my voicemail recording
36 saw therapist, went on HRT and partially identified as Kristy
37 moved and started HRT again, dressing a little more feminitely
41 started HRT again, and wife made agreement if I would give up Kristy
45 started HRT again, this time for good, because wife didn't hold up her end of the agreement.  New agreement with 11 year old son and wife is that Kristy be present only at certain times and not around strangers or family, unless they are ready to be a part of Kristy.
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sad panda

#7
March 05, 2014, 07:12:34 AM
I'm sorry, I don't think I really understood the scenario... :s
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SabrinaDubh

#8
March 14, 2014, 11:55:54 AM
The other day my wife told me that I was going to be "distinguished" when I get old. It cut me deep and it hurt so much. I just smiled and said, "I hope not. I don't want to be distinguished."

My wife has also let herself go. She has gained appx 80 - 100 lbs, and I feel the same...
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JamesG

#9
March 14, 2014, 12:12:50 PM
Quote from: sad panda on March 05, 2014, 07:12:34 AM
I'm sorry, I don't think I really understood the scenario... :s

+1, I am grasping for context...
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thevaliantx

#10
March 14, 2014, 06:16:36 PM
The scenario?  The context?  Come on, ladies (and gents).  I'm MtF, I don't want to die looking like a man, I'm playing with my son, and my wife, seemingly in denial (and probably forgotten) about the whole transgender thing, says that one day I'm going to be an old man.  At that moment, she's happy with the marriage, having it just the way she wants.  She wants to "grow old together" and see "grandpa with a kid on his lap". 
10-13 tried mother's finger nail polish, dresses and her heels
23 phase of body building and then suddenly cross dressing and wearing makeup
26 started calling myself Kristy in my voicemail recording
36 saw therapist, went on HRT and partially identified as Kristy
37 moved and started HRT again, dressing a little more feminitely
41 started HRT again, and wife made agreement if I would give up Kristy
45 started HRT again, this time for good, because wife didn't hold up her end of the agreement.  New agreement with 11 year old son and wife is that Kristy be present only at certain times and not around strangers or family, unless they are ready to be a part of Kristy.
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JamesG

#11
March 15, 2014, 07:45:30 AM
Oh okay.  Seemed like maybe there was more to the story, like from another thread r something.
That was rather blunt. But could have been unintended,  my wife said stupid ->-bleeped-<- all the time...
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barbie

#12
March 15, 2014, 08:17:55 AM
My wife sometimes says it to my kids, and I accept it as a fact. When my mother passed away, I saw her entire body in the hospital. It was so much beautiful and untouched, looking like at her 20s, despite her long struggle against cancer. One reason why I do not transition is that I want to show my untouched (I mean, medically) body to my kids when I am senile. I wish to have A-cup breasts, but I do not want to show them to my kids.

My wife sometimes jokingly calls me "pretty daddy". I invest more time and money in beauty than my wife.

barbie~~
Just do it.
  • skype:barbie?call
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