Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 22, 2014, 07:12:40 PM
Yup. According to them, I'm confused, not normal, an abomination and need serious help. I try to avoid arguing with Christians; I'm in the process of an argument right now. It's just going to keep going in pointless circles.

That's how it goes and that's why I don't bother with engaging people like that. I would rather hit my big toe with a hammer. It would be a much more productive act.

Feeling a little lost at the moment.

Upset with people who don't know how to appropriately barter or do their reaserch.
Put my TV up on Craigslist, asking for $400, including some added cables, first offer I recieve is for $215 claiming the same model is avalible for $330 at Target.
Umm, no, it was $430 for a smaller version. I want at lesst $325 for mine, I need it to pay for electrolysis and medications.

If you guys don't hear from me from tonight on, I'm most likely dead. I'm beyond depressed and I have barely any desire to keep living. I have no friends and I screw up everything. I'm a dumb Atheist and Transgendered person; why should I live? I'm at the bottom of the pile.

Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 22, 2014, 08:23:34 PM
If you guys don't hear from me from tonight on, I'm most likely dead. I'm beyond depressed and I have barely any desire to keep living. I have no friends and I screw up everything. I'm a dumb Atheist and Transgendered person; why should I live? I'm at the bottom of the pile.

You should live because there is no reason to speed up the inevitable.

Quote from: Laura Squirrel on February 22, 2014, 08:36:16 PM
You should live because there is no reason to speed up the inevitable.

The inevitable sounds better than life.

Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 22, 2014, 08:37:46 PM
The inevitable sounds better than life.

No way, dude.

I used to think that way at one point. It all changed one night at my aunt and uncle's house a year or so ago when I saw my life flash before my eyes. I was going through some weird medical stuff and I was certain that I was about to die. That changed things around from that point on.

Having said that, I've had the rare bit where I would get depressed and think that dying would be a good idea. That's when I give myself a good figurative slap across the face and say to myself: "You remember that night and how frightened you were? Well, snap out of it."

Quote from: Laura Squirrel on February 22, 2014, 08:42:54 PM
No way, dude.

I used to think that way at one point. It all changed one night at my aunt and uncle's house a year or so ago when I saw my life flash before my eyes. I was going through some weird medical stuff and I was certain that I was about to die. That changed things around from that point on.

Having said that, I've had the rare bit where I would get depressed and think that dying would be a good idea. That's when I give myself a good figurative slap across the face and say to myself: "You remember that night and how frightened you were? Well, snap out of it."

I'm not afraid of peace and the end of suffering.

Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 22, 2014, 08:37:46 PM
The inevitable sounds better than life.

I ve thought about that many times...and I would do it If I didnt had a purpose, we have the same purpose you and I and a lot of people here, I owe it to the girl inside me who was alone in the dark for 20 years to live , to live a real life instead of the fake one I was living and only recently realised that was pointless...So until that happens , I cant give up no matter the pain, I think you should do the same...

Also whenever I feel down I try to remember that there are people who care about me and I care about them, I owe it to them too...

Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 22, 2014, 08:23:34 PM
If you guys don't hear from me from tonight on, I'm most likely dead. I'm beyond depressed and I have barely any desire to keep living. I have no friends and I screw up everything. I'm a dumb Atheist and Transgendered person; why should I live? I'm at the bottom of the pile.

Please, Mr. H., I was there once and I made it out the other side.  You DO have friends here, and you can count me as one of them.  You are obviously very smart, and I doubt you screw up much of anything.  I survived being a transgender atheist and you will as well.  You're one of the good guys and we need you.   Forget what the idiots think.   Hurting yourself would just be another victory for the mouth breathers.

This is the score today:

Mr. H:  1
Idiots:  0

Can you do it again tomorrow?   Please talk to someone if things are bad, and call 911 if you ever see the end of the rope. 
Love, Jill

Quote from: FalsePrincess on February 22, 2014, 08:52:58 PM
I ve thought about that many times...and I would do it If I didnt had a purpose, we have the same purpose you and I and a lot of people here, I owe it to the girl inside me who was alone in the dark for 20 years to live , to live a real life instead of the fake one I was living and only recently realised that was pointless...So until that happens , I cant give up no matter the pain, I think you should do the same...

Also whenever I feel down I try to remember that there are people who care about me and I care about them, I owe it to them too...

Yeah well, I'm ready to give up. I think I'm done trying to be a guy. I care about no one and no one cares about me.

Quote from: Jill F on February 22, 2014, 08:55:56 PM
Please, Mr. H., I was there once and I made it out the other side.  You DO have friends here, and you can count me as one of them.  You are obviously very smart, and I doubt you screw up much of anything.  I survived being a transgender atheist and you will as well.  You're one of the good guys and we need you.   Forget what the idiots think.   Hurting yourself would just be another victory for the mouth breathers.

This is the score today:

Mr. H:  1
Idiots:  0

Can you do it again tomorrow?   Please talk to someone if things are bad, and call 911 if you ever see the end of the rope. 
Love, Jill

I just feel hopeless. I feel like I have no future.

My family probably won't approve of my transition. I'm probably going to fail this grade in school and end up working low paying jobs the rest of my life. I'm incredibly stupid.

I was harassed by a bunch of ignorant people today and that set me off. Maybe I am a freak? I'm a guy with boobs. That's pretty freaky.

Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 22, 2014, 09:03:14 PM
I was harassed by a bunch of ignorant people today and that set me off.

I've been in those situations before. It always sucks, so I can relate to it. But the thing is: Those people that screwed with you are the problem. It isn't you. People that do that sort of thing are idiots and the opinion of an idiot doesn't mean a damn thing at the end of the day.

Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 21, 2014, 11:53:26 PM
Unhappy that you can't even be safe from one of the most innocent things in the world (supposedly). Just watched a documentary on children who've commited murder.

My kid would totally commit murder, and nobody would be surprised. And she wouldn't understand why people were mad at her afterward. When I was a child I would have gladly committed murder, but for different reasons and with a greater understanding of the action and its consequences. Murder seems so moronic and childish that I don't know why we find it more baffling than ordinary meanness, or financial fraud, or thievery of bicycles and cars.

I don't want to get too wrapped up in talking you off the cliff or whatever. The main reason I disappear for long periods from this site, and all sites (to be perfectly honest) is that too many people either talk about suicide or actually do it. Nobody wants you to die. Even people who don't like what you are don't want you to die. My personal belief is that as humans we have a powerful obligation to follow certain rules, including not dying in ways that harm others. If you commit suicide in old age while battling cancer, it won't make everyone else fall apart the way your merely talking about it can do while you're young and healthy.

You are different, we do love you here, you aren't loved by ignorant strangers, and you won't be loved by ignorant strangers even if you were as perfect as you can imagine being.

You don't have to be athletic or intelligent or wealthy to have a meaningful life that's worth fighting for. You know how many beautiful normal people wish they were trans so they could be special, so they could be interesting or have something to care about? I've been read as male for just a few years, and it's nice, but regardless whether I pass (I look like a monster when my shirt is off, imo), I have an automatic level of authenticity that is probably present in everyone but people really believe when they see it in a trans person. There is no configuration of life details that isn't going to be belittled or envied by someone.

Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 22, 2014, 09:03:14 PM
I just feel hopeless. I feel like I have no future.

My family probably won't approve of my transition. I'm probably going to fail this grade in school and end up working low paying jobs the rest of my life. I'm incredibly stupid.

I was harassed by a bunch of ignorant people today and that set me off. Maybe I am a freak? I'm a guy with boobs. That's pretty freaky.

Well this is a stage we have to go through...You can go from a biological girl to a "normal" guy that easily ( or the opposite)
yes I feel like a freak too , like some kind of hybrid maybe and I ve had people harassing me too and I too will propably end up working low paying jobs ( well eerr , just like most people in my country )...yes its a rather difficult life for us  , mostly cause of are own pain...
but I told you in the other post , I wont give up....inside you there is a normal guy , a guy which deserves to live his life , no matter what kind of life it is,,,

Your family doesnt know? or they doesnt approve?
my family just needed some time ( 1 year actually :/ )

Anyway what would consern me most about suicide is that if I kill myself now,,,people would just remember me as a guy , Im early in transition so even those who know havent got a chance to meet me Lina well...
I dont want to die and be remembered as a guy with issues who just ended it all out of the pain...
do you?
 

Oh about those people who harassed you , Laura is right...these  people have issues no matter how you look at it... this kind of people dont even deserve to be called humans not even animals ... I cant imagine why someone would hurt another like that...most people cant ,,,thats why you ought to remember,,,
Evil is minimal in this world ,,,but it takes one evil to hurt a billion good ones...

I just feel so alone. My mom doesn't really support me. I've told her that I'm trans but it's like she doesn't care. I miss having a person I could talk to about everything and anything.. that person doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. I'm alone in my room or just hanging out by myself outside because I have no friends. I'm just so frustrated with everything right now.

You are not alone Mr. Hockey - You have several friends who care about you right here - Do not give up

Hugs

V M

Mr Hockey, I like you, I like your posts, you are a great guy and you will have a full and happy life as the great guy you are.

I have been to the depths, I have been abused, I had no hope - I had nothing.

But I crawled out and became me. I'm a happy healthy normal woman, and one day my friend you will be a happy normal young man.

Never give up, it means the jerks have won, and they do not deserve that.

Thank you V M and Cindy, it means a lot. I'm just going through a lot and I'm not sure what to do.

Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 22, 2014, 11:14:12 PM
Thank you V M and Cindy, it means a lot. I'm just going through a lot and I'm not sure what to do.

You start by talking to your friends and family, people who do truly understand transgender hell.

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