Quote from: Cindy on February 22, 2014, 11:16:09 PM
You start by talking to your friends and family, people who do truly understand transgender hell.

We are here

Thanks.

Probably going to be staying up all night again. Too stressed to go to sleep.

Asking for help in finding some Genie bras.  Some were helpful, a couple of very ugly glares.
Sheesh.  Like I'm supposed to walk around with nipples poking out in public.
Never been an exhibitionist, just wanted a bit of modesty.
Wondering how others go about doing their shopping?

I haven't cut in months but I'm considering it right about now.

Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 22, 2014, 09:28:22 PM
I just feel so alone. My mom doesn't really support me. I've told her that I'm trans but it's like she doesn't care. I miss having a person I could talk to about everything and anything.. that person doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. I'm alone in my room or just hanging out by myself outside because I have no friends. I'm just so frustrated with everything right now.

As far as I know, my mom still calls me by a female nickname no one else has called me since I was 11. We haven't spoken in years. I'm not saying you don't deserve to have a good person care and listen to you in person, but folks online are real. If someone here calls you a friend, you definitely have a friend. I feel like that should count for something.

My best friend is my cat, though, so I suck at talking to people who aren't capable of being furry and sleeping on my chest.

Quote from: Felix on February 23, 2014, 02:27:58 AM
As far as I know, my mom still calls me by a female nickname no one else has called me since I was 11. We haven't spoken in years. I'm not saying you don't deserve to have a good person care and listen to you in person, but folks online are real. If someone here calls you a friend, you definitely have a friend. I feel like that should count for something.

My best friend is my cat, though, so I suck at talking to people who aren't capable of being furry and sleeping on my chest.

If people knew me outside of the Internet, they'd really see how much I suck as a human being.

Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 23, 2014, 02:31:38 AM
If people knew me outside of the Internet, they'd really see how much I suck as a human being.

You'd have to work pretty hard to suck worse than the rest of us. I can't think of a single failing that isn't shared or topped by somebody somewhere. Even if you managed to be a horrible person, horribleness isn't permanent. It took me a long time to learn how to be nice and honorable and all that, and I'm still frequently unlikable, I'm sure. Even when people love me or trust me it is for reasons that have as much to do with the other person as with me.

Anyway, you on the internet is a weirdly-curated and subjectively-received version of yourself, and trying to live up to whatever it is can be impossible.

If you can't get a cat or a dog, you should visit one at the shelter or something. Their opinions are valid and their adoration can be pretty uplifting.

I have always liked Hyperbole and a Half, but I don't check it much so I didn't know until today that she updated last year. Her ongoing depression commentary makes me feel normal -
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

I don't think I've experienced that in years, but there have been a couple of times.

Unrelated to any of that, the thing that is making me unhappy today is my violent, girlfriend-beating, drug-dealing, wild-partying, scary neighbors are not even trying to be reasonable now that they've gotten their 30 day eviction notice. I'm riled up right now, but even if I were calm and wanted to sleep I wouldn't be able to. Yesterday one of them walked into traffic and punched a stranger off of his bicycle, and my roommate stepped in, and the police got involved, and the neighbors don't realize that the guy that stepped in lives next door to them, and I'm not sure if they'll do anything if they do. A few days ago they were having loud arguments on the porch in the middle of the night (about not getting their 40 dollars worth), and then pitching ceramic plates out their front window after the sun came up. I swear every time there's a vacancy in that apartment they fill it with another friend of this group of sleazy and vicious kids.

5:17 AM and I'm still awake. I can't sleep.

Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 23, 2014, 04:17:59 AM5:17 AM and I'm still awake. I can't sleep.

Me neither.
I'll probably be tired in an hour and a half.

My face needs to be shaved overall, but especially on the right.
I don't know how to shave without changing. I don't have a sink in my room.
This is very stressful. At least in a week or two I'll be moving to a different dorm,unfortunately with a roommate, albeit a female roommate. But with a bathroom en suite. Since it's a gender neutral floor, no one will care who I am in terms of gender and rooms.

Female impersonators.

Not interested in any man that is a liar.

Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 23, 2014, 02:31:38 AM
If people knew me outside of the Internet, they'd really see how much I suck as a human being.

Not necessarily. I'm a monster and most people who know me outside of the internet don't notice. I could outright tell them that I'm a bad guy and they'll act like I'm joking or haven't said anything.

I hate having boobs.

Quote from: Edge on February 23, 2014, 11:21:04 AM
Not necessarily. I'm a monster and most people who know me outside of the internet don't notice. I could outright tell them that I'm a bad guy and they'll act like I'm joking or haven't said anything.

I hate having boobs.

So do I.

Tried sending my ex-girlfriend a message on Facebook with a new account since she blocked me on my main one and she blocked my new one as well. She was my best friend, and I just loved her so much. I see she wants absolutely nothing to do with me. I think I'm going to lay in bed and cry the rest of the day.

Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 23, 2014, 12:23:12 PM
Tried sending my ex-girlfriend a message on Facebook with a new account since she blocked me on my main one and she blocked my new one as well. She was my best friend, and I just loved her so much. I see she wants absolutely nothing to do with me. I think I'm going to lay in bed and cry the rest of the day.

Mr. Hockey,
         I know for a fact that a lot of folks here on both sides of the gender fence have dealt with that same crushing experience. It's unfortunate that some people love to be wooed and have their socks charmed off up until it dawns on them that they're in deeper than they bargained for and unfortunately few there are that have the character to at least bow out gracefully. It's not your fault!

There is a lady I met who's having a really hard time lately and I've indirectly caused it I wish I could fix everything but I really can't do anything about it. I'm really worried about her and it's making it hard to focus on my schoolwork.

again, the answer is girl.

wanting to die but being to weak to kill myself , so painful

Feel asleepin the middle of the day.

Quote from: Willow on February 23, 2014, 09:04:26 PM
Feel asleepin the middle of the day.

good lord me to, i gave up to the "lazy sunday afternoon cat pawing at the sun" mood and just let the nap take me lol, for 4 hours, oh geesh im gonna not be able to fall asleep tonite, thank goodness i don't have any work tomorrow

Quote from: kiara jamie on February 23, 2014, 09:08:46 PM
good lord me to, i gave up to the "lazy sunday afternoon cat pawing at the sun" mood and just let the nap take me lol, for 4 hours, oh geesh im gonna not be able to fall asleep tonite, thank goodness i don't have any work tomorrow

this has been a daily occurance for me. I can't fall asleep tonight for sure, just woke up less than 30 minutes ago.
I can't fall asleep tomorrow, I have a test at 1230.