Hi, my name is Lizzie. My therapist told me to I need to start communicating with people so here I am. I've been living in denial for forever. I'm 29 years old and afraid. I'm always worried about what other people might think and I end up giving them too much power. My self esteem is at an all time low. I know I can't keep living like this. I just don't know were to start. Part of me just wishes I wouldn't wake up the next day. I know I have to face this so I can return to the world but it's just so scary. I wish with all my heart I could just suck it up and get over it but it isn't that easy. I hate it when people say that. I hope to find some new friends here or just be a part of something.

I want to begin changing but being super hairy just makes it feel impossible. Just looking at myself in the mirror is huge trigger for me. I can't do it half the time unless I'm shaving. I wish there was something that could just make it all happen in a instant. The road ahead looks long and grueling and it has so many hills. I'm not sure if I'll make it but ready to try.

I really love video games. Super addicted to Guild Wars 2 right now. Love horror movies, not slashers but more ghost stories. I wish I could sit down and read a book but I find it hard to focus at times. I also enjoy anime. Looking forward to season 2 of Attack on Titan, I hope it comes this year. I also plan on starting Fairy Tale later on Netflix.

Hello Lizzie.  Pleased to meet you.

You are among friends now.  I think we all understand what you are feeling.

Let me say, as someone who has lived in denial for decades, 29 is not "forever."  It may seem like it, but as you get to know some of the other members, you will find many of them are in their twenties and thirties.

We have some teens.  We have some "late bloomers," like me, too. 

The important thing is that you have taken a look inside.  Every journey begins with a first step.

There are lots of discussion topics on these boards about how to deal with some of the male stuff.  Take a look at the "Before & After" topic in the FTM Talk forum.  Look at the fabulous changes.  None came overnight, but with time, these things are possible. 

A warm southern California welcome to you.

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<3 Jamie

A big warm welcome to the family Lizzie! The road to transition is indeed long and grueling, but look at the reward we get when it is over. A life of the real you with no barriers. Every little thing I did along the way built my confidence higher and higher. You can do this because we believe and support you fully. You will find very soon this IS a family and not just another support site. I have met so many people, including some who live near me! Just dig in and see through the post's that we have all been where you are right now and are on the path to our true selves. Here is a BIG HUG( ) to welcome you and let you know you are not alone.

Welcome to Susan's, Lizzie.Recognizing that you need to move forward is a positive step. Feel free to ask any question that you may have.

Thank you for the warm welcome. I look forward to getting know to everyone.

As far questions, what were some of the first steps ya'll began on your journey? You know besides therapy of course. For me this would be it. Being here and acceptance of my own self.

Beside therapy I just started to feminize myself by shaving my body, trimming and shaping eyebrows, growing out and painting my nails, stuff like that.

Cool, now that I think about I guess I started some back in high school by growing out my hair. Still long but thinning now. I used to paint back then too. I think I'll start doing that again real soon.

Thinning can usually be corrected with Finasteride, which is synthesized from progesterone, and acts as an anti-androgen too (blocks DHT)