i think it has something to do with me taking progesterone and eating to large of a meal portion

Quote from: kiara jamie on February 23, 2014, 09:48:36 PMi think it has something to do with me taking progesterone and eating to large of a meal portion

I'm just severely depressed. Tired, lethargic, overall just horrid.

you should get out and do something active, i always feel better when i leave the comfort of the bed and do something like see a movie or go shopping or just a walk, im just chilling out in bed all day since i have to much work most of the time and don't get to depressed on my two or three days off since i would rather never see anyone, but lately my desire to be around friends instead of secluding myself has been lifting, i just need more friends

also could your hormones be affecting your depression and lethargy? i remember when i was on cypro instead of spiro i was so depressed and lazy

Quote from: Willow on February 23, 2014, 09:13:16 PM
this has been a daily occurance for me. I can't fall asleep tonight for sure, just woke up less than 30 minutes ago.
I can't fall asleep tomorrow, I have a test at 1230.

Exercise will help you get out of your depression and sleep better at night.

Quote from: kiara jamie on February 23, 2014, 10:17:58 PMyou should get out and do something active, i always feel better when i leave the comfort of the bed and do something like see a movie or go shopping or just a walk, im just chilling out in bed all day since i have to much work most of the time and don't get to depressed on my two or three days off since i would rather never see anyone, but lately my desire to be around friends instead of secluding myself has been lifting, i just need more friends

also could your hormones be affecting your depression and lethargy? i remember when i was on cypro instead of spiro i was so depressed and lazy

Unfortunately my money is all tied up, I can't spend a single penny at the moment, as much as I want to go shopping for new shoes.

Probably isn't, considering I'm still not yet on HRT. I actually assume it would help.

Quote from: JdlR on February 23, 2014, 10:27:49 PMExercise will help you get out of your depression and sleep better at night.

Don't think so, considering my depression is based primarily on my body hair which doesn't stop growing, my face which is far too masculine, my lack of breasts, my stomach fat, and the fact that I live in the men's dorms and have to shower in the men's showers despite living full time as female, however no one seems to recognise it.

Same as usual: I'm having real issues with going social again:

- Friends: All of my friends are always unavailable, since all of the are in couples right now with their own plans. So I've gone again to a no-friends situation, and I am well forked right now.
I know that the most logical solution is getting back into activities where you will be with people, but... I've tried looking for classes, sports groups... everything's closed. Language School, the classes on things such as video editing or photography offered at the civic centre in the nightbourhood, activity groups at the gym... Until September I won't be able to do anything, and that if I managed to get into the list of accepted people (usually it's a lottery draw to see who goes to class).

Internet has also failed me. Tried to find other girls for going out, but they always disappear the moment they know I'm trans, or if they discover it from my photos. They always request full body photos, and as usual... ¿Do you have a penis? Good Bye. Maybe I should start lying on that too and say I am post op... I won't talk about guys... You know what they want, ->-bleeped-<-buddies. We will leave that for later.

- Dating: Well, internet dating has proved to be fairly useless, even for attracting ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s. The only used network around here is badoo, which is so plagued with fake profiles that it is not even worth it. neither OK Cupid or Adopt-A-Dude are working, and talking with other girls, they get lots of offers, even for sex, but with me... Nope.



Basically, my only chance is to go out on my own and see what happens on a weekend night... Any tips on meeting people?

We lost the home. As if I did not have enough problems. One of the 11 owners is not selling.

its time to refill my t prescrip

which means i have to deal with the center la

wonder whn ill be getting my next dose...

As much as I want jobs to call back, part of me doesn't want them to call back. I don't look my age. Unless you see me as female. Unless I work at a job where all the guys are teens, I'm screwed - but that won't give me enough in wages, or in stability, to meet my goals. I'd basically be able to pay for my expenses and not save for surgery.

Unless I got several jobs that young men work at (minimum wage, groceries/fast food). I don't look like men my age and they'll figure out that I was born female if I even dare enter a space like that.

It's so depressing. I don't even feel like I can use my bloody education without outing myself. Chances are, whatever job I take, I'll make a point of not making friends because I don't want to have to deal with this.

I guess all I can do is set myself on the right track. Work, save for surgery, and just try to lock people out.

To shower or not to shower?
Shower: I'll be clean
Not shower: I'll have more shaving cream for later, need to buy more soon, along with razorblades. *sigh* I wish I didn't loose that one razor I JUST bought last time I went to the store, I still have all 4 replacement blades I bought for it. I'm down to the last blade on my other two razors. I give them about two full body shaves each.
I won't be really sluggish and depressed as I tend to be after a shower, and my face won't feel really tight.

Eating too much. I'm currently suffering the effects of 'eyes bigger than my stomach', lol. But at least it's nowhere near as bad as it could be. :>

Quote from: Willow on February 24, 2014, 11:27:20 PM
To shower or not to shower?
Shower: I'll be clean
Not shower: I'll have more shaving cream for later, need to buy more soon, along with razorblades. *sigh* I wish I didn't loose that one razor I JUST bought last time I went to the store, I still have all 4 replacement blades I bought for it. I'm down to the last blade on my other two razors. I give them about two full body shaves each.
I won't be really sluggish and depressed as I tend to be after a shower, and my face won't feel really tight.

I've read that you can sharpen disposable razors with jeans.
http://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-extend-the-life-of-your-Razor-Blade-keeping/
Possibly may help you in the future! 2 uses is far too little!

Quote from: muffinpants on February 25, 2014, 02:56:22 AMI've read that you can sharpen disposable razors with jeans.
http://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-extend-the-life-of-your-Razor-Blade-keeping/
Possibly may help you in the future! 2 uses is far too little!

Considering I shave my entire body (save for my back which I cannot reach) 2 uses is probably about it, normally it's a week on the face.
As long as it doesn't ruin my jeans that sounds good. With only 2 pair I don't want to ruin them.

I'm stressed. I have a test on thursday. I am trying to do my homework, but my internet keeps crashing, my son keeps interrupting me, the msds pages I need to finish my chem homework are apparently down, I don't know the information I need for my bio homework and have no idea where to find it or how to look for it, and I am having trouble concentrating.
My dysphoria has gotten worse. Before, I had an obsession with being seen as myself, but my reflection was mostly just surreal. Now, looking at my reflection is (at risk of sounding melodramatic) disturbing. I am not having trouble knowing who I am on the inside, but I am having trouble equating who I am with myself. It doesn't help that looking at fictional characters I relate to feels more like looking at myself than looking in a mirror does. (Which gets extra confusing when there is more than one and they look different from each other.) I can't comprehend what I'd look like if I looked like myself which really bothers me for reasons I don't know or understand. I don't even really know what I want to look like aside from the obvious and taller. I wish I had someone to talk to about this. Maybe I'll write a blog post later.
Oh yeah and I still fancy a straight guy because I still have the ability to feel things for people that I had hoped was gone. Who has barely shown up to school in the past couple weeks which bugs me even though I should be grateful for the distance. Not that it's helping.

Quote from: Edge on February 25, 2014, 01:06:51 PM
I'm stressed. I have a test on thursday. I am trying to do my homework, but my internet keeps crashing, my son keeps interrupting me, the msds pages I need to finish my chem homework are apparently down, I don't know the information I need for my bio homework and have no idea where to find it or how to look for it, and I am having trouble concentrating.
My dysphoria has gotten worse. Before, I had an obsession with being seen as myself, but my reflection was mostly just surreal. Now, looking at my reflection is (at risk of sounding melodramatic) disturbing. I am not having trouble knowing who I am on the inside, but I am having trouble equating who I am with myself. It doesn't help that looking at fictional characters I relate to feels more like looking at myself than looking in a mirror does. (Which gets extra confusing when there is more than one and they look different from each other.) I can't comprehend what I'd look like if I looked like myself which really bothers me for reasons I don't know or understand. I don't even really know what I want to look like aside from the obvious and taller. I wish I had someone to talk to about this. Maybe I'll write a blog post later.

I struggled with this. Still do kind of. I'd be glad to talk.

Quote from: FA on February 25, 2014, 01:09:05 PM
I struggled with this. Still do kind of. I'd be glad to talk.

Made a longer version: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,160109.new.html#new

When I was applying to a job online, the page became unavailable due to maintenence and I've been working on the application for over an hour.  I feel like I can't win.

Quote from: Malachite on February 26, 2014, 01:12:34 AM
When I was applying to a job online, the page became unavailable due to maintenence and I've been working on the application for over an hour.  I feel like I can't win.

Can you download the documents as an HTML, work on them then repost them?

Quote from: Cindy on February 26, 2014, 01:17:02 AM
Can you download the documents as an HTML, work on them then repost them?

I'm not too sure how to do that.  I was answering tax eligibilty questions they gave me and beforehand, the instructions gave me a warning that some type of error might occur and if it does then to go back where to whre I started the application, but I can't even get there now and I tried from different computers.

People keep twisting my words around and it's pissing me off. But god forbid I actually show that I'm pissed off because people want me to be a quiet little weakling and put up with crap. Yeah. That's not going to happen.