My ex left me for a guy about 2 months ago. It was painful since I thought she left me right when i needed her most. I do feel better now. Just wanna know if anyone's going through this. How do you cope with it? i know it takes time but I'm sorta scared of even getting to know someone else. Is there anyway that i can move on and that it doesnt hurt thinking about the breakup?

I am not going through this at the moment, but I have been there a few times in the past.  2 months isn't very long at all.  I think it's normal to feel uneasy about dating again at that point.  I find what helps is feel angry or sad if you need to.  Take as long as you need before getting into another relationship.  Also, focus on your own health and wellbeing and improving your abilities at work?/school?/your other activities you like.  Maybe spent more time with family and friends if you are feeling lonely?  I hope that was helpful somehow.

I've been there... Mine was weird because we still lived together for a year afterwards, and it kind of just tapered out as opposed to dying with a bang.  I probably mostly felt better after I had moved in with another friend, and gotten distracted by the mess of homework and time-crunches that accompany being a double major in theatre and biology. 

She was also polite enough not to bring my attention to her new relationship (with a disgusting 42 year old pizza delivery driver... she was 19) until after we'd moved out from living with each other. 

I'm going through it now. I broke up with my girlfriend back in October and now we're not even friends any longer. I'm still trying to figure out how to cope with it.

Breakups are always ->-bleeped-<-ty. Two months isn't very long at all, no wonder you're still hurting - don't worry about meeting someone new right now, just spend lots of time with friends!

Thanks guys. To make things worse, she brought her new bf to the place where I work, at the same time told my co-worker that she misses me!?!?!? The other day she texted me saying that she's regretting and stuff. I cant believe that I've dated someone like that, but still it hurts when she keeps doing this to me.

Quote from: Timo on February 21, 2014, 07:59:48 PM
Thanks guys. To make things worse, she brought her new bf to the place where I work, at the same time told my co-worker that she misses me!?!?!? The other day she texted me saying that she's regretting and stuff. I cant believe that I've dated someone like that, but still it hurts when she keeps doing this to me.

I think that is the point baby, to hurt you. Unfortunately this is not uncommon. I know this doesn't help though. You are the better person .

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on February 21, 2014, 08:50:35 PM
I think that is the point baby, to hurt you. Unfortunately this is not uncommon. I know this doesn't help though. You are the better person .

hmm I wouldn't necessarily say that her intention is to hurt you... Maybe to reclaim/maintain some undeserved attention from you, but I doubt she is doing it intentionally for the sole purpose of being mean.  People, I find, often don't much care if a secondary result of their action turns out to be mean, but rarely set out on a task only for the purpose of being nasty.  She probably does miss the attention she was getting from you.  She probably does miss certain things about your friendship.  Regardless what she is doing obviously is hurtful and she should probably be avoided (or even asked why the hell she thinks thats appropriate or fair). 

Quote from: GnomeKid on February 21, 2014, 09:27:22 PM
hmm I wouldn't necessarily say that her intention is to hurt you... Maybe to reclaim/maintain some undeserved attention from you, but I doubt she is doing it intentionally for the sole purpose of being mean.  People, I find, often don't much care if a secondary result of their action turns out to be mean, but rarely set out on a task only for the purpose of being nasty.  She probably does miss the attention she was getting from you.  She probably does miss certain things about your friendship.  Regardless what she is doing obviously is hurtful and she should probably be avoided (or even asked why the hell she thinks thats appropriate or fair).

I could buy this if she hadn't brought the new BF. I hope I am wrong though.

Sounds like the grass is always greener on the other side until one finds out that the grass is artificial.

I was married for 24 years when my X outted me and left. Anyway it hurts a lot but what i did was work with my therapist and took that hurt and turned it into my strenght to transition. At the same time i put efforts in a new relationship with-in our community. Nice having someone who understands what life truly is.

You do not need to be used. No one needs that and put your effort and feelings into living your future and not your past.

Isabell

Sounds like you really need some you time... Breakups suck no matter what way you look at it. And actually I've felt like I might be going through one soonish...
Hang in there, spend some time with friends and do some "you" stuff for a while

yea, all I can say is that break ups really suck and some times it hurts forever

Thank you all. Reading ur comments is very helpful. Another question is how can i tell her to stop all of this? Uhm... I know u might think i shouldnt be nice to her after all but the reason is i dont want her to think that the fact that it bothers me means i still care bout her. For now i really wanna drop her completely and hope she never contact me for a long time. We have some mutual friends, but then i feel like its my problem, so i dun wanna drag them into it.

you can always be honest and pour your efforts into your work and into taking care of yourself and just tell her "I don't have the time to spare right now, but hey, maybe, I can text/call/etc you when I've got some spare time, work is just pushing me soo hard"

bit of a warning.. this is a method I use to friend zone someone that I'm not romantically interested in and has worked very well in the past, but that sounds like where you want this to go for now.

best of luck

Well, she called again today and left me a message. I didnt pick up and don't feel like replying anymore. I guess I should just ignore her and move on.