Okay here goes my life story...For as long as I can remember I have had trouble with my sexuality and my gender, as a child I had more interest in dolls and painting my nails with my mom, I even remember refusing to stand up or pee outside, as every other boy that I grew up with. My struggle to be myself persisted into my teens as my body became more and more masculine, I went through long stages of depression. I started "tucking" before I knew what it was, and looking in the mirror always wishing I was a girl. The first time I woke up with an erection I went to my mother in tears, which was an odd conversation. My mom has always been a very religious person and my step dad was abusive so I did my best to hide how I felt by pushing it down and telling myself that all guys my age felt the same way. However the sense of something not being right never went away and in a way worsened as my subconscious tried to make me realize what exactly was wrong, I started going through a sexual crisis having bisexual tendencies I wanted more than anything to be thought of as a woman, and I didn't know about HRT so I started thinking I must be gay, this must be what gay guys feel like, and in a way I do find my self attracted in some aspects to men but I am much more attracted to women, there beauty is inspiring, I found myself trying to be with men to fulfill my desire to be a woman, but I could never really bring myself to do anything more than kissing. So I continued to force my feelings down out of fear of what my mother might say or do. It wasn't until recently that I had truly realized what and who I am, and with love and sport from my wife and my cousin I am proud and fully accept it, and I feel a weight being lifted with each day as I am becoming my true self.. I mighthave left few things out but that is my story, what do you think?
