I went to an intake session with a TS therapist recently. He asked me to fill out a form with basic personal information and such. I answered the questions honestly and when the form indicated gender, I put male ? because it was a legal document and legally I am listed as a male. I do not feel that I am male but legal forms require legal answers. When he reviewed the form and came to that part, he said that I am obviously not sure what gender I feel I am.  I put the ? mark as a note as to why I was there. The correct answer should have been female. I feel that this was a trick question. It put me off. Is this typical behavior of therapists?

I don't think my therapist has ever asked a trick question to me.  Normally I go by gender = female, and sex would be male still.  That is how I answer those questions anyway

My therapist didn't ask "trick" questions either.  She did dig deep and carefully watch what my responses were.  When you take some of the written questionaires you do get trick questions, they will ask the same question in ten different ways at different times in the form, trying to see if you respond the same each time.

When I filled out my form, I answered Female.  That is what I am.  I don't care what my birth certificate says.

Talk with your therapist next time, tell him why you answered as you did.


Sarah L.

I won't be going back to this guy. He will not to answer my emails. We had a dialog going before and now, nothing.  I'm stung and now trying to sort out what happened. I need to compare notes with others to see if this therapist is typical. If so, there is no use in seeking another.

Hmm, interesting.  I've had several therapists and none have asked trick question to the best of my knowledge.  I did start off my sessions right away with saying that I am a female and went from there.  Perhaps my confidence about how I knew I felt came through, I'm not really sure.  Either way I never had a problem like you did.  Perhaps explaining to you therapist why you selected that answer would have helped.  I can't imagine him marking "confused" if you did explain it to him like you did here.

I did explain that to him and in fact he felt that I was a TS. It was how he started that bothered me. Almost as if it was that I suddenly had to prove to him that I was female.  I did tell him my life story and he felt that I was well grounded and in fact was not needing much therapy. He was ready to write a letter for HRT based on my state and the fact that I have been on DIY HRT for 5 years. (Special case, to not recommend it to others) if I went to one group meeting with his TS group. I was pleased to go and had a very enjoyable time. I was invited to return and to go to lunch with the other girls. I had a commitment so I couldn't go that time. The next day, I asked him for the letter as planned. ( I wanted to get in the HBSOC mode) No response. I asked again several days later and no response.
This is why I am reeling and trying to figure out what happened. Was it the trick question?

Ah, ok.  Thanks for the details.  That's very unprofessional to not respond like that.

Quote from: MaggieB on August 07, 2007, 11:12:47 AM
I won't be going back to this guy. He will not to answer my emails. We had a dialog going before and now, nothing.  I'm stung and now trying to sort out what happened. I need to compare notes with others to see if this therapist is typical. If so, there is no use in seeking another.

Therapists vary widely. I never filled out forms beyond some basic name and address info, was never given written "tests," never told about the police thing you mentioned, etc. It's been very informal, and yet very helpful. For sure, we've disagreed *strongly* about a number of things, but overall it's been a helpful experience.

She also runs a monthly support group for her clients, as well as a private email list where we all can chat and compare experiences. And she's always responded to my occasional emailed questions and phone calls within the same day. So I always feel like she's there for me whenever I might need her.

IMHO, a good therapist doesn't judge or rate you... at least not beyond your readiness for HRT, transition, SRS, etc. I imagine them being a lot like Susan's Forum, providing a safe place to explore and investigate your feelings and needs without fear of condemnation.

~Kate~

Id have filled in female, afterall, its probably a test, although if unsure, blank is good, because when he asks, you can say, did you want birth or real?

R

I hardly think your therapist is trying to trick you, although maybe his bedside manner could use a little help.  If you explained to him why you did what you did, then why should there be a problem?  I mean, the confusion is understandable in your situation.

I took several tests at my interview, all kinds of gender/sex questionaires.  It was fairly time-consuming.  But my therapist encouraged me to write outside the lines if I thought something was ambiguous or if I didn't fully understand what was being asked.  I was always under the impression they were there to help me, not out to get me.

Suzie

It seems that this therapist is playing mind games with me. After not responding in a month, now he sends me email about the group meet and some off topic stuff. Still no answers to my questions and he knows that I was in urgent need of seeing an endo due to my need to get on proper HRT instead of DIY. He ignored me and he knows I am in a medical situation. My hormone supply changed and I was getting sick.  Even if I didn't ask him specifically, he would be remiss if he didn't ask me how I was in his emails. I didn't go to group yesterday as I don't want to see him again.  As there is no other therapist accessible to me, I had to take steps on my own and I feel better now. As it stands, I simply do not know how to get off DIY now. This  is a very sad outcome.

hes a shrink, not a general physician, your mental health is his area, not physical. he knows nothing about hrt med issues ill wager

Suzie: did you not get the memo? ALL therapists are attempting to diagnose you not trans to cut waiting lists down... its a new initiative

R

Quote from: Rachael on August 13, 2007, 05:45:18 AM

Suzie: did you not get the memo? ALL therapists are attempting to diagnose you not trans to cut waiting lists down... its a new initiative

R

You know, I didn't get that memo, but fortunately my therapist didn't either.  Shhhhh, don't tell her 

I think they should have online surgery and hormone referrals.  One-click standards of care for the digital age trans.  It cuts down on the getting-to-know-ya crap.

lets not even go there.... theres already too many bat->-bleeped-<- bonkers folk getting referals in the current system!
R

Let's forget this OK? Sorry I asked. Don't want to be referred to as bat->-bleeped-<- bonkers.

i didnt suggest you were

R

An update, the therapist and I have cleared the air and it was a bunch of misunderstandings and communication problems. I was wrong about him.

For the record I'm always confused about what to put on those forms. I tried to see a counsellor at uni last semester and had to fill out a form with basic info before I could see him. Because it asked for my student ID number, name and gender, I felt like you, that it was a legal document and thus put my birthname and birth sex. :\ When I went in I explained to him I don't use that name much, but since it's still my legal name I thought it best to put it on the form. He was good enough to address me with my preferred name though.

Quote from: Kate on August 07, 2007, 12:36:43 PM

Quote from: MaggieB on August 07, 2007, 11:12:47 AM
I won't be going back to this guy. He will not to answer my emails. We had a dialog going before and now, nothing.  I'm stung and now trying to sort out what happened. I need to compare notes with others to see if this therapist is typical. If so, there is no use in seeking another.

Therapists vary widely. I never filled out forms beyond some basic name and address info, was never given written "tests," never told about the police thing you mentioned, etc. It's been very informal, and yet very helpful. For sure, we've disagreed *strongly* about a number of things, but overall it's been a helpful experience.

She also runs a monthly support group for her clients, as well as a private email list where we all can chat and compare experiences. And she's always responded to my occasional emailed questions and phone calls within the same day. So I always feel like she's there for me whenever I might need her.

IMHO, a good therapist doesn't judge or rate you... at least not beyond your readiness for HRT, transition, SRS, etc. I imagine them being a lot like Susan's Forum, providing a safe place to explore and investigate your feelings and needs without fear of condemnation.

~Kate~

True...I sure hope I'm not tricked, and I will ask them if they're trying to.

I once had a shrink for other reasons way back in the day. Thats when I really didn't fully need one, before TOTAL disconnection and depression due to overthinking things.

He basically played the friend card until one day his tone completely changed and he was dissecting and kinda mean to me. He basically critisized my, "Lack of progress" kind of thing for not getting over this guy ruining my life and reputation. How does one "get over" an injustice that hasn't been recognized as an injustice? I mean...The kid almost killed me, and cause of a bad cop and legal loopholes he squirms away, and I'm supposed to GET OVER IT? The hell shrinkman? I'm not your friend anymore cause you have a Shonen Jump Subscription I don't have. MORON.


I sure hope that doesn't happen. I want someone who thinks deeply and outside of the book. Not that already determined bull. People don't rethink what should be rethough often because its given as "truth".

I actually wish the person were someone who went through the same thing. That would be easier.

Quote from: deviousxen on September 20, 2007, 05:19:44 AM
I actually wish the person were someone who went through the same thing. That would be easier.

I've a seen a therapist who's TS. On the one hand, it's great, because she understands the *feelings* behind what's going on with me.

On the other hand, I sometimes fear she expects me to feel as she did, and share her motivations and goals for transitioning. I don't think she quite knew what to make of me, as it took me like eleven months to get an HRT letter from her - where her other clients seem to be handed them within a few weeks or months.

I'm STILL seriously annoyed by that. But... it all worked out.

~Kate~