I just have to get this of my chest, I don't have any close trans friends that i can talk to.

I live in Sweden. Yay free (almost) hrt and surgeries, that's good, but the way there is no fun. I have been living as a guy for over two years and going to a team of gender therapists for 15 months. I was prepared to get on T around my 20th birthday wich is coming up in a couple of days. But not to long ago I learned that the hospital probably won't be able to send me to an endo for another year. Thats means about two years of "therapy". And the people there are asses. The meetings is more about questioning me than helping me. So to me it's just a waste of time, but I have to do it.

I try so hard to just let this go and not dwell on it, I know there is nothing I can do. But i can't help feeling bitter and beat down by this.
I have accepted this and I try to focus on other things but I can't stop thinking what if. I feel so stuck in my transition. Every day goes by and i just watch how my body becomes more and more feminine. I tried talking to my parents and a friend but they said one more year isn't long and that it's good that it takes time so that I won't regret this. 

Anyone else in this situation or have any tips of how to occupy your thoughts and pass the time while waiting? What did you do when you had to wait to make the waiting less painfull?

Man as far as waiting goes I think one year is pretty reasonable.  Many people have to wait much longer than this for financial, social, or familial reasons.  I know I had to wait a good year or so just because of needing to go through the therapy loops and all of that. 

I'd comfort myself by knowing it was coming, and knowing I had taken all the steps I could up to that point to do so. 

I'd also be comforted and grateful that my HRT and surgeries were going to be covered and accessible in my lifetime much less in just a years time (and I'm sure more for setting up the surgeries and all of that, but I'm sure you catch my drift). 

I know it is not fun having to deal with all the waiting. (1999 started hrt surgery 2013)

It is even harder when you have to deal with goverment type of healh care. No enough help for the amount that need the help. (its the same here n canada)

Take this time to wait and make any personal type of changes you need to make. Keep a eye on the prize.

FYI my husband has been cleared and approved for payment for his Phallo but his wait time will be over 2 years till he can get it done.

Anyway i wish things for all of us was easier but waiting is part of transition.

Isabell

Occupy your life with other things and the months will go by faster. If you dwell on transition constantly you're setting yourself up for a miserable year.

As someone else said, a year isn't that long. Some guys can never afford medical transition and you're getting it for next to nothing except a little time.

Tank you guys. And I'm sorry I didn't mean to sound like an ungratefull ass. I truly am thankfull for getting my top surgery paid for. But I hate the fact that I am completely powerless in their hands.

Yeah one year is a reasonable time, and thats what they told me it would take, that's why I'm kinda dissapointed. I had my eyes set on this year.
Isabell, sucks you had to wait that long but congrats on finnaly getting there!

To occupy myself I'm thinking of starting a weight lifting program. I figure if i can't get T this is the closest option if I want my body to change.

I know the feeling - I'm also in a country where T and top surgery are publicly funded but it takes so long to get anywhere.

I finally got up the courage to come out to my GP and get a referral into the public system and then got a letter this week saying "You will be offered an appointment within 5 months." That isn't even to see an endo or anything, that's just for a 'general health' appointment for a first assessment.

How long it will take to get anywhere after that - I have no idea.

I've also been putting a lot of effort into diet and exercise to bulk up my upper body and slim my hips. It helps me to think about all the things I can do, and all the great things my body is capable of, rather than to dwell on what I can't change.

Quote from: Simon on February 25, 2014, 08:29:25 PM
Occupy your life with other things and the months will go by faster. If you dwell on transition constantly you're setting yourself up for a miserable year.

As someone else said, a year isn't that long. Some guys can never afford medical transition and you're getting it for next to nothing except a little time.

I agree with Simon. Do you work out? Sounds random but it can help get your mind off things, improve your mood, and help ameliorate some of the feminization by keeping body fat low, muscle strength and definition high, and intense workouts actually raise testosterone levels.

Find other things to think about and work on, and a year will pass before you know it.

Quote from: Nikotinic on February 26, 2014, 04:17:05 AM
I know the feeling - I'm also in a country where T and top surgery are publicly funded but it takes so long to get anywhere.

I finally got up the courage to come out to my GP and get a referral into the public system and then got a letter this week saying "You will be offered an appointment within 5 months." That isn't even to see an endo or anything, that's just for a 'general health' appointment for a first assessment.

How long it will take to get anywhere after that - I have no idea.

I've also been putting a lot of effort into diet and exercise to bulk up my upper body and slim my hips. It helps me to think about all the things I can do, and all the great things my body is capable of, rather than to dwell on what I can't change.

That sucks dude. Hope it goes better when you finally get to your appointment.
I have been trying to loose weight to slim my hips too, but i only seem to loose fat on my upper body so I will try to bulk my upper body instead!

Quote from: Polo on February 26, 2014, 09:13:11 AM
I agree with Simon. Do you work out? Sounds random but it can help get your mind off things, improve your mood, and help ameliorate some of the feminization by keeping body fat low, muscle strength and definition high, and intense workouts actually raise testosterone levels.

Find other things to think about and work on, and a year will pass before you know it.

Almost everyone suggested working out, so I decided to start a serious routine today. I think it will pay of.
I really need something else to focus on.