I go by Lina and I am a closet cd. I have been doing it for the past 3 years roughly, but first started dressing with my sister at the age of 5. I've watched tons of documentaries because I never really "FIT" anywhere in society... I was molested by my uncle from the age of 5 til I was 13. I grew up in a very anti LGBT environment and am still in it and I'm exhausted. I tried being straight, and I tried being gay, but it wasn't me. I came out last year to my family and friends that I was a cd and well to make a long story short I've lost them all. I am literally at wit's end. I feel like I've been punished being a woman inside of a mans body. Suicide has crossed my mind since I was a kid and moreso now. I would never do something like that but being alone is a breeding ground for those thoughts.

When the holidays came and went and I did not hear from any of my family or friends, I really realized that it's time for me to start living for me and who I am and who i need to be. So I decided that after two years of debating whether or not to trans because of my height (6'1) that I need to just embrace it and seek out people and an environment who will love and accept me for who I am.

Isolated from the world I decided to start an Instagram last week as Lina in hopes to find and be in contact with people who embrace and support me and that is what I'm finding.

I am ready to trans but I do not know where to begin.  I emailed the local trans group in my city numerous times and no response and so a friend recommended me to your online forum.  I have been reading some of the topics and I am very excited to finally interact with people who embrace and understand me.

Thank you for reading and if anyone could help me out with where to begin seeking HRT I would appreciate the info.  Do I just call my regular family doctor or do I seek out a hormone specialist?

Thank you all!!
Lina

Hi Lina 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

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Hugs

V M

Thank you V M

I will look those over.

Welcome to the forum!  You'll find everyone here will treat you like family and help as best as they can.  Its one of my favorite places to go to be myself. 


Glad to have you with us LSGATI 

Quote from: LSGATI on February 25, 2014, 05:13:24 PM
I go by Lina and I am a closet cd. I have been doing it for the past 3 years roughly, but first started dressing with my sister at the age of 5. I've watched tons of documentaries because I never really "FIT" anywhere in society... I was molested by my uncle from the age of 5 til I was 13. I grew up in a very anti LGBT environment and am still in it and I'm exhausted. I tried being straight, and I tried being gay, but it wasn't me. I came out last year to my family and friends that I was a cd and well to make a long story short I've lost them all. I am literally at wit's end. I feel like I've been punished being a woman inside of a mans body. Suicide has crossed my mind since I was a kid and moreso now. I would never do something like that but being alone is a breeding ground for those thoughts.

When the holidays came and went and I did not hear from any of my family or friends, I really realized that it's time for me to start living for me and who I am and who i need to be. So I decided that after two years of debating whether or not to trans because of my height (6'1) that I need to just embrace it and seek out people and an environment who will love and accept me for who I am.

Isolated from the world I decided to start an Instagram last week as Lina in hopes to find and be in contact with people who embrace and support me and that is what I'm finding.

I am ready to trans but I do not know where to begin.  I emailed the local trans group in my city numerous times and no response and so a friend recommended me to your online forum.  I have been reading some of the topics and I am very excited to finally interact with people who embrace and understand me.

Thank you for reading and if anyone could help me out with where to begin seeking HRT I would appreciate the info.  Do I just call my regular family doctor or do I seek out a hormone specialist?

Thank you all!!
Lina

Hello, Lina.

I have a few thoughts about your post.

First, 6' 1" height is not a bad thing.  My youngest daughter is 6' 0" and no one mistakes her for a man. 

Second, the molestation.  Report it.  Not sure where you are located, but in some jurisdictions the statute of limitations is extended in the case of minors.  If your family has abandoned you, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain, in terms of your own self-esteem.  Your family might even realize their own culpability.

Third, because of the trauma, I would advise seeing a therapist who specializes in molestation.

One more thing ... you are not alone anymore.  You are among friends here. 

Thank you Natallie and JdlR

Thank you for the info JdlR, I am currently in my mid 30's and I have since dealt with the trauma my childhood.  I have very well finally come to self realization and now have the courage and strength to start the journey.  I've read and heard a lot to be prepared to go at it alone, I'm glad to be on the forum here with all of you, thank you.

A big warm welcome to the family Lina! It will take you no time a all before you see this is true. This is a very safe place full of caring, compassionate people who want you to succeed in life. The best thing about the information you get here is it comes from real people at all stages of transition. You have taken the first biggest step by acknowledging the issue and making a decision to deal with it. The WPATH SOCs say you can go through a Therapist for a letter of recommendation for HRT. You can also use Informed Consent if you can find an Endocrinologist who will do this. Where I live they usually require the letter, not always, but most of the time. I can see where they are coming from as Therapy is a sort of pre screening process. See if you can do Informed Consent. You will have to reassure to the Endocrinologist you are familiar with the process, medications, danger and routes of administration. Here is a BIG HUG ( ) to welcome you and make you feel at home! Good luck and when you have 15 post's don't hesitate to PM me anytime for help or just plain talk.

I am glad to hear you have dealt with the trauma associated with the molestation.

Hey Lina and welcome. I don't know what state or country you live in. I'm sure that there are some resources available. I'm happy that you found the site. Keep on posting.

LINA! I found your intro post! So glad you had done this, sorry I had even read it but did not realize it was you. 

Hi Lina and welcome home!
You have found a safe haven here, we are all on your side, we all share the journey. There is a lot of useful information here, healthy informed debate, jovial exchange and warm, open support. We come here from all over the globe, so someone here knows the ropes in your area.