Hi Sam,
Hoping to put your fears to rest. And remember what fear stands for. False Evidence Appearing Real.
1. Yes it WILL look OK afterwards. Once the swelling and bruising subside it all looks very natural.
2. Yes, you should become quite sensate once the swelling goes down and nerve tissue reconnects. Keep stimulating yourself now to keep the brain synapses active.
3. Dilating is determined by your attitude. You can either make it a pleasure or a task. Your call. Either way it does take up a considerable part of your day for the first 6 months. As does your new personal hygiene.
As to whether your partner finds your "plumbing" acceptable is purely up to them, irrespective of what you do. You can't be held responsible for someone's thoughts and feelings. The only one who can change someone's opinion is that person, no one else.
How did I cope? Beyond expectation. If it wasn't irreversable I'd do it all again in a heartbeat. For me it was totally painless. I did my homework on all aspects of the surgery, expectation of the hospital and meditated a lot on the overall process to ensure mind and body were totally and completely at peace with the entire procedure. That was essential, for me.
What other doubts do you have?
Huggs
Catherine
