Thank you so much Grace for your thoughts and kind words I guess only time will tell how she will recover from this and if it will effect custody in any way.

Emily.T xx

My new binders came in. I got one of the kind I already had and a new kind because the website said it would be as flattening, but more comfortable. It's so short, my chest almost sticks out the bottom and barely flattens at all.

Being on the second day of my period, which is the heaviest day :/

Friendship can be taxing at times.

that paper that wouldn't print for that one class -_-

Reading about the pos-operative after SRS in Chett's website...

At this moment I don't feel so ready... Stuck in the hotel for 18 days? Only eating there (Hotel food usually is expensive).

I've never been stuck to a bed for that long. Sheeeesh.

Im not gonna go into details
but all I wanted to say is that I feel really really sad, I feel the saddest in my already sad enough life...
I wonder what Id do if I didnt had supporting friends and family...

Anyway if you feel sad too we can at least feel sad together...
Maybe that will lessen the pain a little...

     Woke up this morning and felt my whole body was intensely wrong.  My transition is too far away. 

Water main break means no city water for two three days.

Quote from: AppleJack on March 04, 2014, 04:05:16 PMReading about the pos-operative after SRS in Chett's website...

At this moment I don't feel so ready... Stuck in the hotel for 18 days? Only eating there (Hotel food usually is expensive).

I've never been stuck to a bed for that long. Sheeeesh.

Me neither, I gotta get up and move!
Probably it's partially because I found out I was diagnosed with ADHD without anyone telling me about it or being treated for it.

Quote from: Willow on March 04, 2014, 05:36:34 PM
Probably it's partially because I found out I was diagnosed with ADHD without anyone telling me about it or being treated for it.

Wow, you too?  Seems ADD and trans* go hand-in-hand.   

I didn't get that formal diagnosis until I was 43.  I wasted almost 6 years to get a worthless degree in college because I failed out of all the meaningful classes that could have led to something lucrative.  In fact, I had zero aim, zero ambition and was only there because my parents said I had to be.  I had the raw IQ to where I could have been an excellent doctor, lawyer or business executive, but instead I was self-medicating and didn't care about school.  Oh well, at least ADD made me a pretty good musician and I have a really nice guitar collection now.  I even have a pink one, a green one, a blue one and a yellow one if you get the reference. 

Quote from: Jill F on March 04, 2014, 06:19:32 PM
Wow, you too?  Seems ADD and trans* go hand-in-hand.   

ADD here too.  Though I seem to have gotten the quadfecta.  ADD is often codependent with Dyslexia, as well as autism.  Got those too.  Though, in fairness, my dyslexia was deemed mild.  I'm kinda a mess.

Quote from: Jill F on March 04, 2014, 06:19:32 PMWow, you too?  Seems ADD and trans* go hand-in-hand.   

I didn't get that formal diagnosis until I was 43.  I wasted almost 6 years to get a worthless degree in college because I failed out of all the meaningful classes that could have led to something lucrative.  In fact, I had zero aim, zero ambition and was only there because my parents said I had to be.  I had the raw IQ to where I could have been an excellent doctor, lawyer or business executive, but instead I was self-medicating and didn't care about school.  Oh well, at least ADD made me a pretty good musician and I have a really nice guitar collection now.  I even have a pink one, a green one, a blue one and a yellow one if you get the reference. 

I'm in a similar situation, except I can't play guitar for my life. I tried to dabble into electronic music, but I can't find a program that combines what I want, ease of use, and free.

I have no direction in my life. The only thing I want to do it travel. Don't need a college degree for that. I've changed my major 5 times this year already, and am on the brink of another major change. I failed pretty hard last semester (.8 GPA) and if I don't get a 3.3 GPA this semester, I'll fail out and be done with college forever; I won't be able to get in anywhere else. I'm trying my best, but I just can't concentrate in class. I'm listening to the professor talk, and doing something else at the same time, remembering the key points. Or at least, so I think. I then blank out on the test. I never learned how to take notes, and when I try to, my mind wanders to more interesting or important (as determined by my brain) matters. Same with studying. My dad gets frustrated with me when I tell him I do neither on a regular basis because it really doesn't help.

Quote from: Colleen♡Callie on March 04, 2014, 06:31:01 PMADD here too.  Though I seem to have gotten the quadfecta.  ADD is often codependent with Dyslexia, as well as autism.  Got those too.  Though, in fairness, my dyslexia was deemed mild.  I'm kinda a mess.

Tried to once bring up the former, primarily in a motor sense (certainly not a reading sense, I've read at a tertiary level since 3rd grade) like I say right and mean left and vice versa all the time, but was shot down for my outstanding reading ability. The latter, well, it became hurtful when my mother said she'd rather have had me diagnosed with Asperger's (what she suspected) than GID.

Quote from: Jill F on March 04, 2014, 06:19:32 PM
Wow, you too?  Seems ADD and trans* go hand-in-hand.   

I didn't get that formal diagnosis until I was 43.  I wasted almost 6 years to get a worthless degree in college because I failed out of all the meaningful classes that could have led to something lucrative.  In fact, I had zero aim, zero ambition and was only there because my parents said I had to be.  I had the raw IQ to where I could have been an excellent doctor, lawyer or business executive, but instead I was self-medicating and didn't care about school.  Oh well, at least ADD made me a pretty good musician and I have a really nice guitar collection now.  I even have a pink one, a green one, a blue one and a yellow one if you get the reference. 

So you're a very tall, late transitioning TS with ADD... Can you like be my mentor?  Lol

While working on my bike I realized it needs a new rear axle 

Quote from: Willow on March 04, 2014, 06:42:21 PM
I'm in a similar situation, except I can't play guitar for my life. I tried to dabble into electronic music, but I can't find a program that combines what I want, ease of use, and free.

I have no direction in my life. The only thing I want to do it travel. Don't need a college degree for that. I've changed my major 5 times this year already, and am on the brink of another major change. I failed pretty hard last semester (.8 GPA) and if I don't get a 3.3 GPA this semester, I'll fail out and be done with college forever; I won't be able to get in anywhere else.

I never learned how to take notes, and when I try to, my mind wanders to more interesting or important (as determined by my brain) matters. Same with studying. My dad gets frustrated with me when I tell him I do neither on a regular basis because it really doesn't help.

I feel you.  I'm still in community college trying to figure out what I can do career-wise for the rest of my life.  And feel like I've just thrown a monkey wrench into my already limited options by deciding to transition.

As far as note taking goes, I found a sketchbook helped a lot.  Kept my mind in the immediate so I could listen to the professor, and slowly taught myself to scribble down important stuff on the side of the page while I sketched.  Different things work for different people, but worth a shot or finding what helps you keep your mind in the present and using that to help teach you to take notes.  As long as it isn't disruptive to the class.

Quote from: Willow on March 04, 2014, 06:42:21 PM
Tried to once bring up the former, primarily in a motor sense (certainly not a reading sense, I've read at a tertiary level since 3rd grade) like I say right and mean left and vice versa all the time, but was shot down for my outstanding reading ability. The latter, well, it became hurtful when my mother said she'd rather have had me diagnosed with Asperger's (what she suspected) than GID.

I was diagnosed as a kid along with ADD.  Mild, because I showed signs of dyslexia, mixing up right and left, starting letters from the wrong point (either top instead of bottom, or bottom instead of top.  I forget which is the correct way.  And was still young enough I hadn't taught myself to fully overcome in terms of spelling and writing letters backwards.  However, I was reading Jurassic park and Peter Benchley in 3rd grade, so... mild. 

I'm sorry hun.    No one should have their parents say things that hurtful.   Also you're mother is really offensive not only to Trans* but also to those on the autism spectrum.    If you need someone to talk to, or advice on managing ADD (I'm hardly an expert and can't promise what works for me, will work for you, but hey, it's always worth a try right?)  Don't hesitate to pm me, okay?

Quote from: Jill F on March 04, 2014, 06:19:32 PM
Wow, you too?  Seems ADD and trans* go hand-in-hand.   

I didn't get that formal diagnosis until I was 43.  I wasted almost 6 years to get a worthless degree in college because I failed out of all the meaningful classes that could have led to something lucrative.  In fact, I had zero aim, zero ambition and was only there because my parents said I had to be.  I had the raw IQ to where I could have been an excellent doctor, lawyer or business executive, but instead I was self-medicating and didn't care about school.  Oh well, at least ADD made me a pretty good musician and I have a really nice guitar collection now. I even have a pink one, a green one, a blue one and a yellow one if you get the reference. 

That's a cute reference

Quote from: Colleen♡Callie on March 04, 2014, 07:14:45 PMI feel you.  I'm still in community college trying to figure out what I can do career-wise for the rest of my life.  And feel like I've just thrown a monkey wrench into my already limited options by deciding to transition.

As far as note taking goes, I found a sketchbook helped a lot.  Kept my mind in the immediate so I could listen to the professor, and slowly taught myself to scribble down important stuff on the side of the page while I sketched.  Different things work for different people, but worth a shot or finding what helps you keep your mind in the present and using that to help teach you to take notes.  As long as it isn't disruptive to the class.

I was diagnosed as a kid along with ADD.  Mild, because I showed signs of dyslexia, mixing up right and left, starting letters from the wrong point (either top instead of bottom, or bottom instead of top.  I forget which is the correct way.  And was still young enough I hadn't taught myself to fully overcome in terms of spelling and writing letters backwards.  However, I was reading Jurassic park and Peter Benchley in 3rd grade, so... mild. 

I'm sorry hun.    No one should have their parents say things that hurtful.   Also you're mother is really offensive not only to Trans* but also to those on the autism spectrum.    If you need someone to talk to, or advice on managing ADD (I'm hardly an expert and can't promise what works for me, will work for you, but hey, it's always worth a try right?)  Don't hesitate to pm me, okay?

I have my computer to distract me :/

I can't write in lowercase print, I write some letters backwards too. And I don't always write letter "the right way" so people wouldn't know what I'm trying to write even if they could read my handwriting. To this day I cannot also spell business without spellcheck. No matter how many times I look at the word, every time I write or type it, it's always wrong.

I try to ignore her, she's been really abrasive about all this. TBH I'd rather she not try and be in my life rather than her trying to act like I'm not me. After apologising for acting like an ->-bleeped-<- because that's how men stereotypically act, and I tried to act like a man through my teenage years but failed, she said she'd rather me be an ->-bleeped-<- guy than a polite woman.
I'll take your advice

I have found having so much class work and such require computer and internet to be a very bad thing.

Most of my distractions are online!  And you're sending me there to get stuff done!?  Yeah, that doesn't work like that...

I would pretty much say you are dyslexic to some degree.  Can't formally diagnose you or to what degree, but you do fit.

It's hard to ignore those that are close to you, especially parents.  But she's wrong.  You're you, and nothing she prefers will change that.  You'll also be a hugely better and happier person being yourself than trying to be something else for other people.  I like you for who you are.  You're a nifty person.

Quote from: Colleen♡Callie on March 04, 2014, 08:10:59 PMI have found having so much class work and such require computer and internet to be a very bad thing.

Most of my distractions are online!  And you're sending me there to get stuff done!?  Yeah, that doesn't work like that...

I would pretty much say you are dyslexic to some degree.  Can't formally diagnose you or to what degree, but you do fit.

It's hard to ignore those that are close to you, especially parents.  But she's wrong.  You're you, and nothing she prefers will change that.  You'll also be a hugely better and happier person being yourself than trying to be something else for other people.  I like you for who you are.  You're a nifty person.

All my classes except anthropology(the professor has to be at least 70, doesn't know how to work a computer very well either) rely heavily on the internet and computing in general. Easy distraction for me.

I've always thought so, but the therapist I saw in high school thought I was a moron for bringing it up, so I dropped it as soon as I did.

She's only communicated with me 3 times since my birthday, which was the day before I left to come back to school (kinda, dad kept me at his place in Ohio for 5 days or so, so I wouldn't be back over a week before classes resumed) which was nearly 10 weeks ago. Never answered my calls, emails, or texts. Texted me twice about my sister's colour guard, and sent me a package for Valentine's day, candy, chocolate, and a Calvin and Hobbes comic. Not sure if she intentionally picked "Weirdos from Another Planet" or not, but it still hurt a little.