For all trans, cd'ers, everyone:

The very common beginning for trans people is feeling like their body was wrong. Frequently, they chose different toys and hobbies vs their sex.

I didn't. I loved my trucks and hated barbies (particularly I hate the smell of barbie plastic). I got three tonka dump trucks (the rugged metal ones) and used and abused those for years.

However, my first time in a dress was because my uncle was bored. I remember resisting it too.

My second exposure was when my pajamas were dirty, my parents "made" (I feigned resistance) me wear my sister's nightgowns.

I wonder what impact that had on my development. Would I have found my buried desires, who knows.

I wouldn't toy with a childs psychology as my parents so carelessly did. It's one thing to listen to your child and let them express themselves, but another to force something on them, especially since my parents told me how gross gay was. Gay and T aren't the same but I wonder about their motivations every day.

So what about anyone else? Were you introduced to ->-bleeped-<-? Do you think you would have ventured there on your own?

Thanks for reading.

I honestly don't know.

I tend to believe being trans* isn't a product of nurture at all, but fully of nature.  However, I am not a researcher or have any psychology degree at all.  It is my opinion, but one that can easily be swayed if new evidence is presented, and I'm not about to discredit anyone's opinion on how or why they are transgender. 

If you feel that these events are what shaped you to be transgender, then at most I'd be a little skeptical there wasn't something there already out of your awareness, but would in no way discredit you.  I have literally nothing to back my opinion up over your own. 

As for me, nothing really introduced it to me.  I was wishing I was a girl before I really understood it, and before that was never happy in my skin.  Eventually this lead me to find story sites detailing exactly what I had already been wishing for years.  My first TG stories were the Spells R' us ones by Bill Hart.  My introduction to the term transgender and the community came through looking for outlets to dull the ache which opened me to a whole community that were like me. 

Many children I've met like trucks and hate barbies. Actually, I've known more girls who hated barbies than boys (who were pretty much indifferent). Most kids I've known had tonka dump trucks. They're especially fun to play with outside in the summer. Lots of girls I knew resisted dresses. Both myself and my brother wore dresses sometimes as kids willingly although my brother resisted when he was older (he was bribed for a play) and he's completely cis.
I was introduced to it first by Boys Don't Cry which didn't stick probably because it scared me and I was sitting next to my dad who kept saying Brandon was lying. A few years later, I met someone who was trans, but my sister shamed me into not talking to her. I came back to facing my trans stuff on my own later.
I definitely think I would have figured it out on my own eventually. I had already gone looking a few years before being introduced to trans people. I got discouraged then, but all it would have taken is the right words in a google search and I'd have figured it out.

Agreed.  My Cis sister hated barbies and was always jealous of my toys.  She got stuck with barbies because she was a girl.

i never wish i was a girl early on or, at least i cannot remember feeling this way, but i do remember being attracted to girls, their softness, the way they dressed, their long shiny hair, their clothes etc. it's only later when i came across an x rated flick in a video store and i saw the title 'chicks with dicks' that i discovered this new world. now of course the rest is history as the saying goes...

I resisted the dress as I would have resisted a pink shirt. I "knew" boys weren't  supposed to wear it.

Dressing wasn't a desire of my femininity, femininity was a result of my dressing.

Before the net, I thought I was the only crossdresser in the world. Once I found out about surgeries and HRT, I thought that was my path, but I sort of grew out of it. I cherish those feelings, but I leave them to memories.

However, coming here has..stirred me up lol.

Ha! I used to push away my trans feelings. It happened more and more, until I could no longer ignore it.

Watch the story unfold.

I grew up feeling I was different, but at an early age, It turned out I had dyspraxia, so I usedto put my feelings down to that. As I got older, I was on the boys sports teams and dominated most of the events, stll didn' feel I was one of them. They were all typical lads, I was quite, sensitive and arty. I was more interested in aesthetics and writing or animation. I quit rugby and moved on to martial arts like judo, budo taijutsu and kung fu. I didnt really pay any attention to what I was feeling until later on in puberty.

I started to hate how I was getting more muscular, so I shifted my diet and exercise to stay smaller. I despised by body hair, my lower voice, my stubble, brows and shape. Since I had nerdier interests like cosplay and collecting comics, I decided to go to an anime convention in london with some friends, and when it came to choosinga cosplay, I picked a girl. It was then I realized something.

While I was nervous of how people might react, I quite enjoyed wearing a skirt and girls clothes, it was actually really comfortable and I didnt change to my normal clothes for the whole weekend. I even passed as a girl to some which made me feel really really happy. That was a few years ago. Ive been at uni these last couple of years and had time to crossdress, go to gay bars and Ive made some lgbt friends who are quite supportive.

The final stage of me realizing who I was came last year in january. Id been dating a steady girlfriend who Id known for about six years, and she ran off on meto chase someone else immediatly after we left a resturant I took her to for a date. I'd spent the best part of my time knowing her sympathizing with her complaints of abusive ex partners and how depressed she was that I'd spent years caring for the ungrateful sod and putting sometimes full weeks into helping her. When she ran off, I finally asked myself the big 'I don't want this anymore, I can't live pleasing others or holding back. What do I want from my life?' Not long after I saw a life coach and we began finding productive ways to help, and it was during those months I found myself embracing how I felt. I started studying gender to see if there were others like me. Despite my interests and appearances, I wanted to be feminine, if not female.

over the last 14 months I've been working out how to identify: first I thought I was an androgyne, then bigender (sometimes I felt more male than female) but for a good few months, I've felt female and wanted to stay that way. I'm comfortable enough in my own body that it's not trapping or horrendous for me to stay in it (so long as I'm long haired, well shaven, smooth as a baby and covering my limbs in my daily life) and I still enjoy everything I used to. I'm just wanting a girlier face and build right now. I've looked at the prospect of transitioning, but right now, Im taking it one day at a time.

I'm not out to family. Dad's really fuddy duddy about 'pretty boys, gays and drag queens' and my brother's a beefcake body builder whose the walking definition of 'bloke'. I'm waiting till I've got a bit more financial independence before I say anything to them.

It's funny you asked this question and it actually answered a few of my own questions. Cause like you I growing up I didn't migrate to the girls toys or clothing.  I had and played with the "boys" toys.  However unlike you I did not have the forced warring of girls clothes.  And at 31 it came to me what all those hidden feedings and longings really ment.

So to answer your main question I believe that we are who we are. Maybe nurture has something to say about it but it's only how soon we come out not whether we are or are not.

For me, I didn't understand transgender. I believed the crap about being "a woman in a man's body". Since I never felt that I thought I wasn't trans. I had wanted to be a woman since I was a teenager. The only thing that stopped me is the thought that it would be impossible. I remember being jealous of transgender people because they could get sex changes. 

Once I understood (which took reading hundreds of posts here before I got it), there was no way I was going to be denied transition. 

Quote from: suzifrommd on March 05, 2014, 06:45:09 AM
For me, I didn't understand transgender. I believed the crap about being "a woman in a man's body". Since I never felt that I thought I wasn't trans. I had wanted to be a woman since I was a teenager. The only thing that stopped me is the thought that it would be impossible.

That is how I feel about it. It's one of the main reasons I believe it's not going to work; I believe it's impossible (physical reasons mostly). Another major reason is sexuality.

Quote from: Colleen♡Callie on March 04, 2014, 09:52:57 PM
As for me, nothing really introduced it to me.  I was wishing I was a girl before I really understood it, and before that was never happy in my skin.  Eventually this lead me to find story sites detailing exactly what I had already been wishing for years.  My first TG stories were the Spells R' us ones by Bill Hart.  My introduction to the term transgender and the community came through looking for outlets to dull the ache which opened me to a whole community that were like me.

^That!

Although I don't remember what my first stories were, they might even have been some of the SRU stories 'cause I know I found those fairly early on.

I had found a site that was a small collection of stories, including a few SRU stories.  So might not have been the very first I read, but are the ones I remember from that day, so close enough.

Wasted way too many years of my life praying that such magic and situations were actually possible. 

Quote from: sagitilicious on March 04, 2014, 09:24:11 PM
For all trans, cd'ers, everyone:

The very common beginning for trans people is feeling like their body was wrong. Frequently, they chose different toys and hobbies vs their sex.

I didn't. I loved my trucks and hated barbies (particularly I hate the smell of barbie plastic). I got three tonka dump trucks (the rugged metal ones) and used and abused those for years.

However, my first time in a dress was because my uncle was bored. I remember resisting it too.

My second exposure was when my pajamas were dirty, my parents "made" (I feigned resistance) me wear my sister's nightgowns.

I wonder what impact that had on my development. Would I have found my buried desires, who knows.

I wouldn't toy with a childs psychology as my parents so carelessly did. It's one thing to listen to your child and let them express themselves, but another to force something on them, especially since my parents told me how gross gay was. Gay and T aren't the same but I wonder about their motivations every day.

So what about anyone else? Were you introduced to ->-bleeped-<-? Do you think you would have ventured there on your own?

Thanks for reading.

How much did you really resist the first time? Or was that a trigger? Funny how you said you "feigned" resistance the second time. Personally for me, I have always known or felt it. I really don't think it has much impact on you being trans because older sister's will often dress their younger brother's up in girly clothes make up and so on. Most boys this happens to it still stay boy. It was more than likely going to happen anyway so I really doubt, but my opinion only, that those things have any bearing on you being trans.

No one led me to anything. I've always been a woman.

Quote from: Feather on March 05, 2014, 08:05:09 AM
That is how I feel about it. It's one of the main reasons I believe it's not going to work; I believe it's impossible (physical reasons mostly). Another major reason is sexuality.

I'm puzzled as to why you say your sexuality will prevent transition.. I'm a happy non-op lesbian..

Quote from: kelly_aus on March 05, 2014, 11:56:10 AM
No one led me to anything. I've always been a woman.

I'm puzzled as to why you say your sexuality will prevent transition.. I'm a happy non-op lesbian..

I have no sexual experience. What if I do happen to enjoy sex as a man? If the answer is yes, then it might be a valid reason to keep male sexuality. That will however require that I stay on testosterone, so it's a conflict there.


Or maybe not, but it's something I need to experience. If I actually don't enjoy sex as a man I would be a big step closer to eventual transition. For some people the distinction between sex and gender may be obvious, but for an ignorant such as me it's not and it's something that I feel needs to be answered first.

Quote from: Jess42 on March 05, 2014, 09:36:10 AM
How much did you really resist the first time? Or was that a trigger? Funny how you said you "feigned" resistance the second time. Personally for me, I have always known or felt it. I really don't think it has much impact on you being trans because older sister's will often dress their younger brother's up in girly clothes make up and so on. Most boys this happens to it still stay boy. It was more than likely going to happen anyway so I really doubt, but my opinion only, that those things have any bearing on you being trans.

I fought as much as I could. I believed girls clothes were for girls. I pulled the dress back off a few times before I gave up.

I used feign on purpose describing the nightgowns. I was afraid how it might look if I seemed eager.

It's very hard for me to know or to answer this. I grew up with 3 brothers, and they are very masculine. They always made fun of me for doing anything that was feminine. I remember the first time I wore a bra, they made an issue out of it. I feel such an overwhelming amount of dysphoria, but I sometimes wonder if it is due to my upbringing.

I know I wanted to be a tap dancer and ballerina when I was little but my dad put the lid on that immediately as boys don't dance. I was loved GI Joe dolls, the old style that were like Barbie's but boys, but I liked all toys. I enjoyed playing with kitchen sets and being the mom playing house with my cousin. As I got older I was forced into sports, as that is what boys do and you can't be around the house all day. I sucked at them and was afraid at first, but I think that fear is normal for all kids to some degree. However, I was pushed pretty hard by both of my parents as they were raising a boy and just did what they thought was right. My dad was mentally abusive in some ways, but did prove to me he cared, though he is emotionally void. That and his inappropriate temper and violent at that, did have my brother and I overly intimidated from the time I can remember through even moments of my adult life. So I think we can be conditioned to some degree, at least if our mental makeup allows for that pliability and I was a "pleaser" and always have been. So what ever I could do to make my parents happy I tended to do, so boy stuff took over in time. Even my mode for connecting with my inner female was impossible to detect for anyone through most of my life, as I played the part I was inadvertently forced to. Had I been allowed to dance and be more effeminate I know I would have been, but few parents were aware of what we know today. Also, I think my father was not worried about me being a girl he was afraid I was going to be gay like my mom's brother. I doubt he even suspected girl, though he would say stop doing this or that because you are not a girl. But what he was really meaning was "don't be like your gay uncle." As that was what he was never going to let happen, me or my brother be gay and it did well to get me through most of my life passing as all boy. Then it is easier to pass when your bits and pieces match peoples expectations.

Quote from: sagitilicious on March 05, 2014, 08:17:12 PM
I fought as much as I could. I believed girls clothes were for girls. I pulled the dress back off a few times before I gave up.

I used feign on purpose describing the nightgowns. I was afraid how it might look if I seemed eager.

Society tends molds us into what it thinks we should be. Although I didn't wear girl's clothing I am told that I threw a tantrum when I had my first haircut. Then later on when the parents would mention haircut I would run and hide. Yes I made their lives miserable between my memories of 4 to 9. They eventually gave up and let me grow it long. Like I said earlier, I was jealous of my female cousins because they got all these pretty dresses and other clothes and so on. I guess I finally really understood what was wrong when I was probably 11 or 12 and that I was a girl in a boy's body. But up until then it was just that something wasn't right because boys like gross things like playing with frogs, fishing, getting dirty, played sports and other things and I was repulsed by even touching a frog, hated being dirty and played more "house" with my female cousins and friends than sports with my male cousins and friends. I guess you could say that I knew of felt from the beginning. I think others did too because a lot of people have thought me a little femme even though I had a lot of girlfriends that were not just friends. A friend's wife went years thinking that I was gay even. But who knows? I am trans and have accepted it and it's just a part of who I am.

I agree with what someone else said earlier, I think it's more nature instead of nurture. Nature being prenatal conditions, brain development in the womb and or exposure to certain hormonal conditions in the womb. If it was more nurture, I knew a lot of mama's boys growing up who's moms would just smother them and not one of them grew up to be transgender. There may be an element of nurture in the mix, but I don't think it's as much as nature.