I'm sorry everyone, but this seems to be the safest place to vent my frustrations and they have really piled up this week...
First, my next endocrinologist appointment was scheduled for this week and despite my repeated calls the previous two weeks, I couldn't get ahold of him. I found out why... he moved his practice to a more affluent area 6 hours north of me... The endo he referred all of his patients to doesn't take transgender patients (still getting used to this
). Finally I found another endo who will take me and I can't help but suspect that I will have to start again from square one with her...
Adding to this, my wife was in severe pain due to an ear infection. I couldn't even see her eardrum with an otoscope! I skipped class to find a doctor who will take our new insurance (one bright spot) and was accepting new patients... I was able to find one, but despite my attempts to go full boy mode, I'm pretty sure I only achieved girl-lite again. Boy did I get stares when I explained my wife and I are married. I even said I'm her husband... cue even wider stares... The doctor managed to get her ear cleared and identified the infection but it was a very interesting atmosphere.
Out of the blue, my mom and I had some communication. 'That's good', I thought; so I decided to talk about what was going on... She expressed joy at my endo's sudden departure and reiterated that "I love my
son,
I have no interest of getting to know this new person!" The communication abruptly was ceased after that comment.
Add to this is the background issue that my wife just lost two family members over the weekend. I may have to go to the funeral... this presents a new conundrum (my wife
still hasn't told
her family). It may be prudent that I stay home for this one...
and in this interim my wife has given me a "hall pass" (that I didn't want), but only for boys(which I don't like sexually) - so I can understand what I will be depriving her of if I
do get GRS... To this I shared that a polyamorous pan-sexual friend of ours was more that happy to give me a "test drive" if I asked for it... probably not the wisest thing to share that, but I thought honesty would be better... how stupid of me!
In this maelstrom of a week I have also managed to bomb a Spanish Exam (due to extremely narrowly programmed software!) and possibly another one in Anatomy & Physiology...
I feel emotionally and physically exhausted... but thank you everyone for letting me clear my head with this rant.
