Hey all,

I've been researching a little bit about seeing two therapists at once and the consensus is that it's a bad idea.  However, as much as I love my therapist and she is really helping me with my gender issues and in general, I really feel like I could use some help overcoming my social anxiety and fears.  It's just I've made a lot of progress in the realm of gender concerns and have progressed since I've started, but I still feel like there is a lot of work to do to improve my social anxiety.  In fact, this is really my main problem nowadays because in order to continue making headway with my transition it's going to require me to get over my fear of other people and how they may percieve me.  Otherwise, I sit her pontificating my issues and delaying my progress rather than actually living.  I don't want to be like this anymore.  I don't want to live under the guise and fear of other people.  Now, my therapist is confident that this can be overcome and is helping me make headway in this area, but she is more into exposure therapy.  Granted, I understand this is something I need and she is right; however I feel like I really need to do more work.  Like I'm still lost on how to tackle my social anxiety and poor self esteem.  It's making it even harder to initiate exposure therapy and leaves me left wondering how much longer I'll live in fear.  So, as much as I love my therapist and want to continue seeing her, I'm really interested in picking up a second therapist to focus more on my social anxiety and my thinking processes. 

What do you think?  Is this a bad idea?  Has anyone else tried this strategy?  If so, how did it work? Everywhere I look, I hear this plan sort of plan being criticized, but I feel like my social phobias are more related to my social anxiety and confidence issues more so than just simply tied to my gender issues.  That's why I feel that it wouldn't be a bad thing for my treatment plan.  I don't know.  Any opinions or advice would be appreciated.  I feel like I just don't know how to get over these hurdles and social fears.  It's something I really want to get over, but I just can't shake this fear.  And I know this is something I'm going to need to do in order to successfully transition as well as strive to live the life that I want.  Thanks.

This may be a dumb question, but have you talked to your therapist about this?

Quote from: Caysee Danielle on March 06, 2014, 08:23:34 PM
This may be a dumb question, but have you talked to your therapist about this?

Not about seeing another therapist.  We do talk about my low self esteem and social anxiety though.  However, it's always tied into gender problems where I honestly don't feel that's the source of all my issues.  Sure, I'm trans and transitioning brings about all kinds of social anxiety, but I feel like I'm a little more crippled in this departmenet than the average person.  That may be why it's so hard for me to overcome these issues and maybe focusing on them in general is really what I need.  Of course, I still want to see my therapist because she's very helpful with the emotional aspects of my transition and has helped me make progress in this area, but I feel if I'm going to grow as a person than I'm going to need to look at the broader picture. 

In a way, I don't want to hurt my therapist by telling her I'm considering picking up another one.  She really does help and is a very nice person.  I know it's really stupid but I don't want to upset or hurt her feelings with this.  After all, she's done so much to help and is still helping.  I'm weird, I know, but I really don't like upsetting other people.  So, if I do see another therapist, I'm probably going to do it on the side.  Of course, there is the issue of insurance and whether it's even possible as well. 

Therapist have different area's on which they focus, so I don't see a problem. I would make sure they both know about each other though and what has been accomplished. It helps a lot with their treatment plans.

I would talk to your therapist about what you are considering.  She may have some advice on who could better help you if she doesn't feel up to the challenge herself. 

Quote from: Caysee Danielle on March 06, 2014, 08:37:58 PM
I would talk to your therapist about what you are considering.  She may have some advice on who could better help you if she doesn't feel up to the challenge herself. 

I guess I should just bring it up with her, but I don't want to hurt her feelings.  I know that sounds really silly, but she's been there for almost a year and has helped me in many ways.  While I feel like this would be good for me, I don't want her to feel she's inadequate when that isn't the case. 

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on March 06, 2014, 08:33:01 PM
Therapist have different area's on which they focus, so I don't see a problem. I would make sure they both know about each other though and what has been accomplished. It helps a lot with their treatment plans.

Yeah, that's what I thought at first, but all my research indicates that most therapists take issue with this sort of thing.  In the past my mom wanted me to see a different therapist (more like conversion therapy) and my therapist accepted that I had to play by my mom's rules at the time.   This, however, is a bit different.

I've been seeing my current therapist for about 2-3 months now but have been sorta looking into more of a gender therapist of late. I found a program nearby, mentioned I would like to see someone who is more knowledgeable about this topic than my current therapist, but would like to continue seeing my current one for other issues I am having, and this is the reply they gave me:

"....However, clients should not see more than one therapist at a time.  By taking someone on as a client, I become legally and ethically responsible for ensuring that person's safety, and having more than one person in the mix can complicate things."

So if you want to see someone else, I would definitely bring it up with your current therapist and see if she's ok with it, and then if you find another, make sure they're ok with it as well. I can totally relate to you not wanting to switch since you like your current one so much because I'm in the same boat, I like mine a lot too and don't want to hurt her feelings either lol. You just got to go with whats best for you though.

I am glad you brought this up learningtolive, as I initially set up my therapy through a highly regarded program but there is a big waiting list so I have yet to meet with anyone there yet. So in the mean time I went to the VA and have begun with a therapist there. He is aware of my plans to see someone in addition at this other program and seemed to have no issues with it and actually made copies of questionnaires I filled out for them in advance. So if anything I do not see him threatened by it (which I think may drive this opinion to some degree but I also see the concerns that LivingTheDream mentioned also being valid) and in my case where they are both going to be for the same issue (gender dysphoria) I can see both issues playing into it.

I did Google this matter and you probably have as well, but this article seemed fit for your situation where it is two different issues you are seeking specialists for http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2011/02/15/seeing-more-than-one-therapist/ and it seems to even open the door a hair for my situation but far less likely. I did set out to get two opinions because I always read you needed two letters of approval for things like HRT and SRS and though I am far from both yet, I like to have my ducks in a row in as far advance as possible. I do meet with my VA therapist one more time before meeting with someone from this other program so I will try to remember to bring it up, but it is a month out so I will not have an answer to share feedback on your issue. My gut says you are ok to do so though, but just make sure to share it with your current therapist. It may actually help them see something positive, such as being able to be brutally honest, as well as thoughtful. Plus it may be something they do object too, and as LivingTheDream has pointed out, there are real points to be made against it too.

Quote from: LivingTheDream on March 06, 2014, 10:13:30 PM
I've been seeing my current therapist for about 2-3 months now but have been sorta looking into more of a gender therapist of late. I found a program nearby, mentioned I would like to see someone who is more knowledgeable about this topic than my current therapist, but would like to continue seeing my current one for other issues I am having, and this is the reply they gave me:

"....However, clients should not see more than one therapist at a time.  By taking someone on as a client, I become legally and ethically responsible for ensuring that person's safety, and having more than one person in the mix can complicate things."

So if you want to see someone else, I would definitely bring it up with your current therapist and see if she's ok with it, and then if you find another, make sure they're ok with it as well. I can totally relate to you not wanting to switch since you like your current one so much because I'm in the same boat, I like mine a lot too and don't want to hurt her feelings either lol. You just got to go with whats best for you though.

Yeah, I guess talking to her about it is the best thing to do.  I'll hold it off till our next session and do some more research.  I'm just don't want to hurt her feelings because she has done alot for me and I have grown.  I just feel it's time for me to grow in other areas.

Quote from: Toni on March 07, 2014, 06:53:48 AM
I am glad you brought this up learningtolive, as I initially set up my therapy through a highly regarded program but there is a big waiting list so I have yet to meet with anyone there yet. So in the mean time I went to the VA and have begun with a therapist there. He is aware of my plans to see someone in addition at this other program and seemed to have no issues with it and actually made copies of questionnaires I filled out for them in advance. So if anything I do not see him threatened by it (which I think may drive this opinion to some degree but I also see the concerns that LivingTheDream mentioned also being valid) and in my case where they are both going to be for the same issue (gender dysphoria) I can see both issues playing into it.

I did Google this matter and you probably have as well, but this article seemed fit for your situation where it is two different issues you are seeking specialists for http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2011/02/15/seeing-more-than-one-therapist/ and it seems to even open the door a hair for my situation but far less likely. I did set out to get two opinions because I always read you needed two letters of approval for things like HRT and SRS and though I am far from both yet, I like to have my ducks in a row in as far advance as possible. I do meet with my VA therapist one more time before meeting with someone from this other program so I will try to remember to bring it up, but it is a month out so I will not have an answer to share feedback on your issue. My gut says you are ok to do so though, but just make sure to share it with your current therapist. It may actually help them see something positive, such as being able to be brutally honest, as well as thoughtful. Plus it may be something they do object too, and as LivingTheDream has pointed out, there are real points to be made against it too.

This is what I fear.  I mean any therapist that I seek out would be only for the purposes of my anxiety and social phobias.  My therapist would remain my counsellor for my gender issues and transition.  I just feel like I need a little something more.  Like everyone that transitions seem to be in a stronger mental state where they can overcome their social fears.  Even if it is scary and daunting, they already seem to have the toolset to take on the social anxiety that transitioning can create.  I'm just not that sort of person, but I'd like to become that.  While I've made a lot of progress in my transition, I'm getting close to living as me full time but remain paralyzed by fear.  I want and need to get over this. 

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on March 06, 2014, 08:33:01 PM
Therapist have different area's on which they focus, so I don't see a problem. I would make sure they both know about each other though and what has been accomplished. It helps a lot with their treatment plans.

So true. 

I need to find another therapist because my gender therapist cannot help me with my two remaining issues.  In fact she has similar issues herself.  She may be a trans* whisperer, but aside from that she is nothing more than a perfectly flawed human being and does not pretend to be anything other.