If you find yourself saying it, try to catch yourself and think. It's extremely judgmental and condescending toward all types of people who are just fine as the individuals they are. It can pretty much be translated as "You are not behaving in the manner in which I expect a man to behave."

http://www.upworthy.com/just-in-case-you-need-help-figuring-out-whether-a-dude-is-a-real-man-heres-a-handy-chart?c=upw1

Oooh I hate that phrase. Also makes me think of "manly" and "girly" and they piss me off too. All this junk of what's considered for how someone should act/behave/be. Does not fly by me.

Yeah, I've never liked expressions like that, either. "Man up," "be a man"... Then there are all the ones associating testicles with courage, boldness, etc... I've never used these phrases even once in my life, and they always make me feel uncomfortable when I hear them. Then, of course, there are the ones like calling men who are perceived to be weak in some way a certain slang word for female genitalia...

It's all pretty uncomfortable for me to hear...

hmm its hard to make the world around us prescribe to our discomforts. 

I agree phrases like not having the balls to do something are kind of annoying sometimes, but to a certain extent these things often spin out of control into the area of getting to be a bit overly PC to me. 

My co-host is fond of substituting "ovaries" whenever he's about to make a statement like that, e.g. "It took some mighty big ovaries to try that!" I like to think every time he says that, it makes people think about these little catch phrases.

Glad you posted this. I was just thinking about this very issue last night. How people are more and more accepting of a girl doing "masculine" things but there are still ridiculously outdated, and unrealistic, expectations for men in terms of roles.

I think it depends on why your saying it though, I mean I tell people it because sometimes you really do need to be a man about some things and man up, Like for instance I get really shy when it comes to talking to girls my friends always tell me to man up or grow some balls, I really don't get offended by that I actually like being told to man up or grow some because it makes think and it actually makes me be able to do do what I need to do as a young man. Wheather you like it or not if your a man you have to handle your buisness like one. I've been called the female genetalia slang word and the Bword it doesn't bother me one bit though because I know that I'm considered a man by alot an they only call men that especially the younger gen....

There is a video about "man up" that I came across some time ago.  I found it very moving and extremely powerful.  It's one of those things that makes me think a lot about masculinity.  Maybe some people here will identify with it.  Here it is:

Quote from: Brandon on March 07, 2014, 03:54:36 PM
Wheather you like it or not if your a man you have to handle your buisness like one.

Yeah, this attitude that there's a certain way there is to be a man is the problem.  What does "handle your business like one" mean if not to say that there is a specific way that men are "supposed" to act?

I've always disliked that phrase — it's so condescending. I'd be more than happy to see it go.

Quote from: Caysee Danielle on March 07, 2014, 04:21:17 PM
Yeah, this attitude that there's a certain way there is to be a man is the problem.  What does "handle your business like one" mean if not to say that there is a specific way that men are "supposed" to act?

Whatever the definition of a man is you do that, I think alot of people here take some things to heart alittle to much, I just feel like if you are a man who holds feminine traits then you can't really get mad when someone tells you to man up or grow some, Masculine men already get it so you can best believe if your feminine your gonna get it to and you can't stop it thats the world we live in. Know do I agree with not allowing feminine men no I don't but if your gonna do hese things prepare for the consequences

Quote from: Brandon on March 07, 2014, 04:38:44 PM
Whatever the definition of a man is you do that, I think alot of people here take some things to heart alittle to much, I just feel like if you are a man who holds feminine traits then you can't really get mad when someone tells you to man up or grow some, Masculine men already get it so you can best believe if your feminine your gonna get it to and you can't stop it hats the world we live in. Know do I agree with not allowing feminine men no I don't but if your gonna do hese things prepare for the consequences

And what are you "being" if you're not being a "man"?  The implication is that you are being a woman and that this is somehow worse.

I hate that phrase (and several others). I also have noticed that insults to guys involve calling them girls or female body parts. I think this kind of thing is essentially violent and leads to violence. I really like the video above. Also like this one:




--Jay

Quote from: Caysee Danielle on March 07, 2014, 04:40:24 PM
And what are you "being" if you're not being a "man"?  The implication is that you are being a woman and that this is somehow worse.

Well you already know what society is gonna see you as but I'm not gonna use thoes words, I don't think we should use them but hey we can't stop it, I've been called it not for being feminine though but because I wasn't handling things like I needed. It didn't really upset me same with the man up and grow some thing I tell myself that sometimes, I even told this girl that I'm interested in that I need to man up and grow some balls she laughed because its true sometines I really do so do others unfortunately.


And when you black its 10 times worse.

I don't like this phrase either. I say to myself and others that I'm not a 'man' just a 'guy'. I don't want to be one of those overly masculine dudes. I have no interest in fixing cars, building stuff, talking about guns and stuff like that hahahaha. And I'm not the bravest person either. Men are always looked at as 'protecters' and being 'brave' and all that but you know, I'm not really a risk taker and I don't like to fight with people. I guess you could call me the slang word for female genitalia, the word for a female dog or even a geek (which I actually am ) but I don't care. There isn't a certain way to be a man just like there isn't a certain way to be a woman.

Quote from: Brandon on March 07, 2014, 04:52:12 PM

Well you already know what society is gonna see you as but I'm not gonna use thoes words, I don't think we should use them but hey we can't stop it, I've been called it not for being feminine though but because I wasn't handling things like I needed. It didn't really upset me same with the man up and grow some thing I tell myself that sometimes, I even told this girl that I'm interested in that I need to man up and grow some balls she laughed because its true sometines I really do so do others unfortunately.


And when you black its 10 times worse.

The way to fix problems is not to say "well it's gonna happen because society is like that, so I should just accept it".  It's to do something about it, and talking about it is the first step.

It's definitely not helping if you are part of the problem as well by using it yourself.

Honestly, once when my wife and I got into an argument, she used that phrase on me - knowing I'm trans.  I think she was trying to hurt me at the time - she apologised, but damn it stung.   

Simply echoing what others are saying, the only thing needed to be a man is to know that you're a man.  Not by acting masculine, courageous or anything else.  Just by knowing that you're a man.

Personally I do say it, but to myself.  Because I find that often the only way to motivate me is for me to beast myself, and that works for me.  I'm not going to subject anyone else into fitting into the same mold as me because I know that everyone is different.

Quote from: Caysee Danielle on March 07, 2014, 04:58:07 PM
The way to fix problems is not to say "well it's gonna happen because society is like that, so I should just accept it".  It's to do something about it, and talking about it is the first step.

It's definitely not helping if you are part of the problem as well by using it yourself.

Its just words and it motivates me like Alex said what is wrong with saying man up or grow some of us do need to do that. Sone things are just tookin so serious. And the big thing I noticed was that the ones who don't like it are the ones who are not that masculine

Quote from: Brandon on March 07, 2014, 05:05:28 PM

Its just words and it motivates me like Alex said what is wrong with saying man up or grow some of us do need to do that. Sone things are just tookin so serious. And the big thing I noticed was that the ones who don't like it are the ones who are not that masculine

Maybe I didn't say it very well, but I say it to myself, not to others.  And sometimes it bothers when others say it to me, it all depends on what the sentiment is behind it and who it's coming from.