Quote from: Colleen♡Callie on March 05, 2014, 09:20:58 AM
I had found a site that was a small collection of stories, including a few SRU stories.  So might not have been the very first I read, but are the ones I remember from that day, so close enough.

Wasted way too many years of my life praying that such magic and situations were actually possible.

TG stories and Art were sorta were I started - I actually draw sketches back in elementary and middle school of guys then erasing them and making them into girls playing the story out in my head before I knew what I was really doing. It always made me feel odd and I never showed anyone them.

Then during end of middle school and high-school I got into TG stories and Art- sadly I am still dealing with it haven't found the courage to come out and do anything other then exercise and practice my voice in private.

being transgender was not a topic in my famely when I was a kid, and it didnt exist for people below 18, so in that way I was not influenced by anything.

despite this my parrent rased me and my brother more or less gender neutral, even when I wore girl clothing and still got a horrible lots of girl presents I was allowed to wear my brothers shirt and allowed to play with boytoy I dont think it infect me on being trans. My brother also borrowed female clothing from a friend as a kid, and he isn't trans or gay.

Oh, i dont think that every, or most kids forced to cd, or encouraged, maintains the habit or considers it. Not unless they develop a like of it.

I merely always wonder how id be affected if id had a different childhood.

The best violinist in the world might never have touched it had they not been coaxed as a kid. The same goes for vices. Not that ->-bleeped-<- is either.

No matter how much i enjoy the fit of a bra or tight skirt, though i havent dressed in years, i possibly would never have felt the draw.

It does seem that my early life is pretty unique.

I also often wonder what kind of person I would be if I had a different life. I can trace a lot about me to things that were at least partially developed by experiences and how.
Gender is not one of them. Far from it. The explanation that makes sense to me is the one that is supported by the studies that have been done so far.

I don't think that there were any specific incidents which led to me to consider myself as transgender.  Rather it was a collection of life experiences, increasing dysphoria and perceived fetish (cross dressing, forced feminisation role playing etc) which caused me to seek professional help.
It was the gender counsellor who picked the label transgender.  I tried it on and it fitted.  With hrt and further counselling,  the complete disappearance of my dysphoria and of my overwhelming desire to cross dress, for the first time in my life I felt that I was no longer acting, that I could self author my life it was then that I felt truly authentic for the first time in my life. 
Of course sensing and embracing authenticity brought along a whole lot more in terms of need to understand my physical and spiritual self and the choices available in terms of expression and direction.
What then surprised me was that I realised that I am not binary, I don't have to choose to present or to change my anatomy to be perceived as either male or female and that it is legitimate to view transgender as a permanent descriptor which for me means a life time of transitions and growth, self expression and search for authenticity.
Whether I am transgender because of nature, nurture or a combination of these and other factors ( cf Allan Schore) does not matter to me.  I am blessed to be transgender and my life and as a result the journey I choose to take is richer as a result.

Safe travels

Aisla

Maybe. I think there were things that made me push those feelings back until I couldn't take it anymore. I ended up smoking myself into oblivion and doing nothing with my life. Then one day I just woke up and realize this has got to change.

I might have gone through with it earlier if I was teased for stupid things.