I'm going to be doing some cultural competency training for my work about how to talk to trans* individuals. What will make things complex is we do hiv & std testing as well as sex counseling. While I feel very good about my knowledge of word choice and how things should be asked, I wanted to get everyones opinion on how you would want someone to ask you questions about your sex habits without being offensive.

Personally I'm someone who goes very clinical when talking about myself because it helps me to stay detached. I do understand that is not the way for everyone though. This is an extremely uncomfortable topic that can be triggering for a lot of us.

Lastly assume since you would be getting tested, that you are sexually active.

I could give my opinion if I knew what answers were needed.

I don't know it seems to me what's the difference either way your asking someone to be on the bottom the question is illogical if being on the bottom your going to get std so your saying that it's all right for at least someone to be on the bottom.

I am not sure I would want anyone asking me anything about my sex habits; If I have a question that is one thing, but I am not sure there is any wording that could make me comfortable with other people asking me questions about what I do in the bedroom.

Why does a place that does testing need to know anything about the state of my genitals or the sex I am having? If I need information, isn't that what those pamphlets are for, so that I can get information without being probed for it?

I really hope that your first recommendation is to stop not using condoms.

Also they shouldn't be telling people what position they should be in while having sex whether trans or not. 

Quote from: Alexis Paige on March 08, 2014, 01:57:22 AM
They need to know about the state of your genitals, what sort of sex you are having, and what you are doing to protect yourself from std's and HIV.

The questions are more problematic for trans* men than women, but the advice they give can be bad. They do a lot of work with gay and bi men, so they don't all get that some of that advice is not going to work.

An example would be, if a gay man doesn't use condoms they advise him to be the top even if he says he is normally the receptive partner. I fully intend to tell them to not ask a trans* woman to become the penetrative partner if she says she isn't, no matter what her condom use is. I know for me that due to my personal feelings about my genitals and the way things will probably go after awhile on hrt, that would not be a possibility and I would be offended to be asked to do that by a sex counselor.

Honestly, I feel very comfortable with explaining any issues that are there and why for trans* women. It is more for trans* men that I'm worried about. I just figured that I would ask here as well as in the ftm section in case anyone wanted to give their opinion.

I don't mean to sound like I'm asking an unreasonable question but who are the they you refer to in the beginning of your post.

and as another curious question why would you suggest that the person not wearing a condom be on top. To be honest I find your questions highly problematic. I think given the nature of these questions I think it would be only fair to all concerned to name the group your asking these questions for. and also you've suggested by you question this is a clinical setting , but your post in the ftm section suggest it 's for some corporation out side of a medical setting. sorry for my questions . I'm probably way too skeptical sorry if I come across this way. I really don't want to stand in the way of someone trying to help.

Quote from: stephaniec on March 08, 2014, 12:34:01 PM
and as another curious question why would you suggest that the person not wearing a condom be on top. To be honest I find your questions highly problematic.

Because the risk of transmission of some STD/STI like HIV are lower for the "top" than they are for the "bottom". Which is pretty much the equivalent of saying that it is safer to drive drunk at 60 MPH than it is to drive drunk at 100 MPH. Both are incredibly dangerous, but one slightly less so.

Quote from: allisonsteph on March 08, 2014, 02:00:14 PM
Because the risk of transmission of some STD/STI like HIV are lower for the "top" than they are for the "bottom". Which is pretty much the equivalent of saying that it is safer to drive drunk at 60 MPH than it is to drive drunk at 100 MPH. Both are incredibly dangerous, but one slightly less so.

so the problem is like being half pregnant

appreciate the answer

Quote from: Alexis Paige on March 07, 2014, 08:43:11 PM
I'm going to be doing some cultural competency training for my work about how to talk to trans* individuals. What will make things complex is we do hiv & std testing as well as sex counseling. While I feel very good about my knowledge of word choice and how things should be asked, I wanted to get everyones opinion on how you would want someone to ask you questions about your sex habits without being offensive.

Personally I'm someone who goes very clinical when talking about myself because it helps me to stay detached. I do understand that is not the way for everyone though. This is an extremely uncomfortable topic that can be triggering for a lot of us.

Lastly assume since you would be getting tested, that you are sexually active.

What exactly is the purpose of gathering this information?

Is it attempt to gather statistical information? Is it an attempt to get a snapshot of a subset of the community?

How the data being gathered is going to be used has a direct impact on how it should be asked/collected.

That being said I have been tested at both a Gender clinic and an HIV/AIDS clinic. Both gathered their information in a similar manner. They asked how I identified and who I had sex with, and gave several (20 or so) different gender options including no gender. Not one of the questions asked how I have sex. I wouldn't mind giving that information in certain circumstances but it's doubtful that someone could create an intake form that is all encompassing enough.

     

I still have a concern about telling someone it's safer to be on top , so basically one lives the other dies for the sake of statistical gain.

@Alexis Paige:
Thank you for the clarification, so long as the questions are not required for testing my mind is at ease. All I know that in such circumstances there is no way I would divulge that sort of information. I value my privacy and learning facts about safe sex isn't difficult to do in the privacy of my own home and my own computer.

so is this similar to the Howard Brown clinic in chicago

As a Paramedic the topping idea is not good advice at all. No matter who is where the love must be gloved or transmission is almost guaranteed. If I have a viral free patient no matter how I inject them with a dirty needle guess what, not a good outcome for the patient. Sorry if this offends, but I have 28 years on the job and have dealt with a lot of people who tried so called "good advice" and became infected. The only good advice to give is protection for both or face the consequences of the decision not to use it.

Quote from: Alexis Paige on March 08, 2014, 03:59:24 PM
It is the organizations belief that judging people for their life choices that they don't want to change will just make them stop being tested and lead to more people who are spreading disease and not being treated until it is to late.

I am so sorry if you thought for a moment I was judging anyone. I would never do that at all. I was just trying to say there is NO safe way to have unprotected sex. To tell people or suggest that there is an alternative besides condoms is plain wrong and medical malpractice. This is not judgment this is medical fact. I have gotten to know too many people through my career that were told there are safer ways to have unprotected sex and eventually I had to watch them die all the while listening to them say "We were told so and so way was safe". Sometimes tough love is called for to save lives. To give topping information out is a great way to expose yourself to a lawsuit, plain and simple. There is a difference between collecting statistical data and giving dubious information. I would have no problem with giving data for statistics in a clinical setting to answer your original post question. This is because I know the data will be used for trends and future prevention protocols, just vet the advice before giving it out.

I don't know it seems some what unethical to disregard the safety of the bottom person for the statistical  advantage  of the top person . It doesn't sound like making too much common sense. Especially your talking about either party may or my not have std/HIV

Quote from: Alexis Paige on March 08, 2014, 06:21:45 PM
If, as a different example, someone is in an open relationship and sleeping with several people a month and says they don't like condoms so they rarely use them, maybe they will compromise and use them with the random hook ups they have outside of the relationship.

Really? Not likely in the least. This is just something we will have to agree to disagree on. They will never compromise and continue to spread STDs and HIV no matter if they are positive on viral load or not. Testing is great for statistical purposes and to track spread/transmission, nothing more. In the end it comes down to more Federal dollars and grants for "research" and does nothing to stop the issue. I have no issue with you as a person and am glad you are passionate in your work. Good luck in the future.

well, I wish you well too, anything that helps stop the epidemic is good . From the news reports another generation is headed for disaster so what ever helps is good.