Next weekend me and a group of colleagues are climbing the Brecon Beacons together and are staying at a campsite.  Only one of them knows that I'm male, the rest of them are under the impression that I'm a butch cis female.

All I know about the campsite is that it's big, and there's gendered shower rooms/toilets.  I'm pre-everything but I pass to everyone who doesn't know me, which poses a slight problem when I have to use female bathrooms.  At the moment my dysphoria when showering is pretty ridiculous too, leaving me literally on the floor sometimes, but there's no way that I can avoid using them.  I'm going to be pretty sweaty after climbing a mountain for 8 hours and we're there for two nights.

I'll be taking my wallet and female ID with me whenever I go to the bathroom, but I don't know how to deal with the stares and possibly call-outs, especially if I have to respond to them and tell them that I'm someone I'm not just so they don't kick me out.

I'd use the women's restroom/showers.  I know it sucks sometimes to say "no but really I should be using this restroom because I'm female" when you know you're not/won't have to be for long, but a lot of times its just the safest route.  Usually those places have shower stall type situations anyway.. which aren't so bad.  Its not like a giant one room shower open out into the rest of the facility like they had at my high school (that I thankfully never had to use). 

Realistically, if you're with co-workers and don't plan on having the weekend be a coming out experience then you're kind of stuck using the women's room anyway.  At the end of the day there isn't tooo much of a decision to be made (unless you want to come out to everyone).  If you use the mens room you're almost 100% likely to run into a male co-worker there.  Unless all your co-workers are female. 

I remember being called out lots of times for going in women's rooms (literally been happening since middle school) and as soon as I opened my mouth to them (politely) they always became profusely apologetic. 

Also.. at girl scout camp I used to just not shower over the whole weekend... yea... its nasty and I was probably in elementary school, but its not the worst thing.  In fact, come to think of it I used to only shower probably once or twice in a whole week of summer camp all through HS (because the shower schedule was super competitive).  If you think about it people go hiking for weeks without a shower. Maybe you can avoid the full shower and just rinse off your head under the shower wash your face/hair and maybe try to wet towel your upper body or something to get rid of some of the BO and general dirt. 

I know I'll have to use the females', there's no way around that fact, I'm not going to subject the two I'm sharing a tent with to the stench of my sweat, and I'm not coming out and using the guy's all by next weekend.

I suppose I was asking more of how to deal with being stared at and possibly confronted about being in there. I'm not the best at dealing with social situations anyway, and my usual tactic is just to put my head down and ignore it. I was reminded by a cleaner at work a couple of months ago that I was going into the female toilets, and I just ignored her and then hid in there until I guessed that she would have started cleaning the floor further down the corridor.

Even if I do tell them that I should be there it doesn't always go so smoothly for me, I can think of several occasions where I've had people refuse to believe that I am my birth name, at libraries, banks, garages, hotels... Not just a "no, really?" but full on arguing, one man even argued with my mother over it. I'm incredibly fortune for it in the most part, but not so when I have to do things like this.

As for the showering, I'll just have to grit my teeth and get on with it like I always have to, and hope it doesn't dump me on the floor thinking black thoughts again. I'll ask a friend to call me if she notices I've been in there too long.

Quote from: lxndr on March 09, 2014, 06:54:14 PM
I know I'll have to use the females', there's no way around that fact, I'm not going to subject the two I'm sharing a tent with to the stench of my sweat, and I'm not coming out and using the guy's all by next weekend.

I suppose I was asking more of how to deal with being stared at and possibly confronted about being in there. I'm not the best at dealing with social situations anyway, and my usual tactic is just to put my head down and ignore it. I was reminded by a cleaner at work a couple of months ago that I was going into the female toilets, and I just ignored her and then hid in there until I guessed that she would have started cleaning the floor further down the corridor.

Even if I do tell them that I should be there it doesn't always go so smoothly for me, I can think of several occasions where I've had people refuse to believe that I am my birth name, at libraries, banks, garages, hotels... Not just a "no, really?" but full on arguing, one man even argued with my mother over it. I'm incredibly fortune for it in the most part, but not so when I have to do things like this.

As for the showering, I'll just have to grit my teeth and get on with it like I always have to, and hope it doesn't dump me on the floor thinking black thoughts again. I'll ask a friend to call me if she notices I've been in there too long.

It's hard.  It sucks, I know.  I would suggest having one of your friends always go in with you.  The two of you should have a conversation on the way in.  That will point out to people that you are supposed to be there, and they will hear that you have a female voice.

One thing that may help keep you off the floor is realizing just how disgusting the floors of those showers are going to be.  I'd rather stay upright then risk the plethora of diseases to my nether-regions that could ensue from making contact with the shower floor. 

I'll try to think of some social advice, but I'm not the best at that sort of thing myself.  I guess having your ID ready is always the way to go.  People can be so rude.

If there is a creek or river near by could you shower there? Pass it off as super rustic...? Maybe wait until the middle of the night when no one else will come in?

I second the friend idea. I think it's the safest bet. No one's going to question it if you're with someone who is clearly female.

Quote from: Emerson on March 09, 2014, 07:32:37 PM
If there is a creek or river near by could you shower there? Pass it off as super rustic...? Maybe wait until the middle of the night when no one else will come in?

Hah... ever gone swimming in a river?  You're probably going to want to shower even more after that experience than a few hours of hiking. 

I do agree though that maybe showing during off-peak hours may help.

Quote from: GnomeKid on March 10, 2014, 10:38:01 AM
Hah... ever gone swimming in a river?  You're probably going to want to shower even more after that experience than a few hours of hiking. 

I do agree though that maybe showing during off-peak hours may help.

!

Lol!

In fact, yes. I have also bathed in a river on more than one camping trip. What do you think people did before wells? Although, personally I would probably not shower at all after a hike on a camping trip, but I like to be dirty.

For real, not showering at all IS an option...

We're going to a pub the night afterwards, so it's relatively civilised I suppose.  I'm not getting dressed up in anyway, but it's courtesy to be clean at least.

I'll probably just stick to going in with my friend wherever possible, and carrying my ID.

Quote from: Emerson on March 10, 2014, 05:48:02 PM
!

Lol!

In fact, yes. I have also bathed in a river on more than one camping trip. What do you think people did before wells? Although, personally I would probably not shower at all after a hike on a camping trip, but I like to be dirty.

For real, not showering at all IS an option...

Hah yea, for sure... people also tended to smell a lot more before we had wells and running water and the like. 

I'm all for a weekend/week without a shower, but merely was pointing out if the point is to actually make one's self clean the river may not be the best option. 

Quote from: GnomeKid on March 10, 2014, 06:19:08 PM
Hah yea, for sure... people also tended to smell a lot more before we had wells and running water and the like. 

I'm all for a weekend/week without a shower, but merely was pointing out if the point is to actually make one's self clean the river may not be the best option.

Okay okay...