As I gear up for surgery and budget my finances, this thought hit me; $28,000 buys me into social acceptance, potentially romance, and happiness.
$28,000-the price for breast, FFS, and SRS. These are the things that will make me acceptable. These are the things that will make me more than just screwable. These are the things that make me more pleasing to the everyday person. With these surgeries I can be placed neatly in a box and judged differently with a new set of rules.
$28,000 buys love and romance. It's buys all the ups and downs that come with it. No, I'm not saying by getting these surgeries I'll instantly find love. I very well may be the pretty cat lady. I very well could meet a man and be killed...the irony...$28,000 makes me a candidate. It's make me be looked at as a viable option when before I was only good enough behind closed doors.
$28,000 buys happiness, or so it seems. It buys all of my wildest dreams. Waking up with no makeup and still feeling accepted, not having to worry if my tuck came undone, not having to find the right shirt for my non-existent breast. FFS, SRS, and BREAST are for me, but more for "them." If they accept me, the world at large, the happier I'll be....right? That's how it works? I can accept myself all day, but at the end of it all, it's their approval I seek.
Think of the hours spent we put into ourselves. The research, the constant planning, wishing, hoping, the disappointments. What an investment we make for love, acceptance, happiness, and a lack of courage. The lack of courage to come as we are. That sounded a bit self-hating....I most certainly don't hate myself, but I hate this lifestyle. I would never wish being Trans on anyone, it's lonely. Unless you have $28,000.
Just a thought that crossed my mind that I wanted to share.
