I'm not saying 100% all but hell yeah, MAJORITY of them are just fakes and hypocrites. They pretend they love you blah blah blah and will never leave you no matter what but once they know what you are they dump you heartlessly.

My best friend was with a guy and as much as bogus this may sound, she's pre-op and has been having anal sex with him for 6 month every single day without the guy even suspecting. She's 200% passable. Her technique was weird, she was using a sort of thing to flatten her stuff completely and even you put your hand down there it looks flat. SHE WAS NOT DOING THIS WITH BAD INTENTION BUT COS SHE WAS DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH HIM.

And her excuse for no vaginal sex was according to her religion it was a sin to have vaginal sex before marriage, so the guy is european and she's asian.

She wanted to have the nationality here so she even planned to get married with her without the guy even knowing. On her passport her name is male but here in europe sounds a rather neutral name and he never bothered to check her details as gender on passport etc...but it was not all about papers, SHE REALLY LOVED HIM SO MUCH AND DIDN'T WANNA LOSE HIM NO MATTER WHAT.

Last time they were fighting so bad making noise that neighbours denounced them and they both were brought to cell. Even police thought she was female but only at the final turn when the policewoman told her to undress to do check up that she realized what she was and her boyfriend too came to know.

That guy pretended to love her as mad and vowed and promised NEVER to leave her NO MATTER WHAT and look what happened by the end. They both left the cell the next day but by the end the guy left her.

ONCE THEY KNOW, CONSIDER THAT MORE THAN 90% OF CASES, IT'S OVER!!! In very RARE cases a 'real' straight guy might accept, but most of the time if they accept, I guess it should be just a ->-bleeped-<--->-bleeped-<-.

Two wrongs don't make a right.

So basically she lied to him and didn't trust him, when he found out he left?

... and therefore it is him who is a 'fake and hypocrite'?

I don't think you can condemn all of mankind on the basis of what happened to your friend, who wasn't blameless in the situation.

Sorry, if this is true (which I question) she is the one in the wrong. 

Quote from: kira21 ♡♡♡ on March 13, 2014, 10:40:39 AM
So basically she lied to him and didn't trust him, when he found out he left?

... and therefore it is him who is a 'fake and hypocrite'?

If she told him in the beginning, he'd NEVER EVER EVER date and love her for 6 months and would have been dumped from the very second he knew. She told me she prefer lives in lies and be loved temporarily by a straight guy that be with a ->-bleeped-<-. And sorry honestly is NOT the best policy for us T-Girls on stealth mode. We need to shield for everything, whether to have a job or to be loved. We just want to be considered as a NORMAL woman and NOT A FREAK.

She isn't a "normal woman".
She still lied, deceived him.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions...

Quote from: kira21 ♡♡♡ on March 13, 2014, 10:40:39 AM
So basically she lied to him and didn't trust him, when he found out he left?

... and therefore it is him who is a 'fake and hypocrite'?

I don't think you can condemn all of mankind on the basis of what happened to your friend, who wasn't blameless in the situation.

This is the truth, like it or not.

I've disclosed to many people and everyone has been respectful. Respect breeds respect.

I agree with the above: if she was having anal sex with him and somehow managed to conceal that she is trans (which I really dont know how that would work), but didn't trust him enough to tell him then guess what? Their relationship is toast. That's so unfair to him. Really, after that, if he stayed, he must be a saint. If she was post-op, it would be a 100 percent different story. I just think if you haven't had surgery it is only fair to disclose if you are going to have anal sex. Now, if it was just oral sex, this would change the equation. I cant say why there is a difference between disclosing for sex pre-op vs. post-op i just know there is one.

Quote from: mandonlym on March 13, 2014, 11:11:33 AM
I've disclosed to many people and everyone has been respectful. Respect breeds respect.

Oh and this^. I've only had sex the back way with two guys and I disclosed to both but I have had oral without disclosing and I cant tell you how effing scared I was cause they kept going for my  crotch, tugging at my pants. And I had to slap their hand away and be like I'm having my period, please I want to but I can't. I will never put myself in that situation again. I could have been killed. There is a high rate of trans murder in Philly and i dont want to be a statistic.

Not every guy who knows the truth and continues to pursue is a ->-bleeped-<- >_>... if you live your life thinking that no guy wants to be with you because of what you are, then you are pulling that experience towards you. Law of attraction.

I'm married but when people hit on me, I'm always honest (if i really ever need to be, though I don't because my voice or the fact that I'm just starting out always gives it away) and I am always treated with respect... I've never run into any ->-bleeped-<-s other than online.

There are actually people out there who are interested in you because of who you are and not which genitalia you were born with...

It's a curious story. 6 months in an intimate relation having daily contact with that area of the body and never having a hand slip down there is pretty good . as far as wanting to marry the person why would someone want that after having been lied to for so long . Unless  she was planning on surgery before getting married which would mean  going months without having sex and expecting the guy to understand without questioning anything and then expect a marriage proposal.  as far as someone being a hypocrite and a fake.

OK, so how does a guy not know? He never touched her down there at all? Just stuck it in, no foreplay or anything else? I don't care what religion or anything else when things get hot the hands start moving. I wanna' feel, touch and taste. But enough of that.

I think she was in the wrong on this one. I can see going on a date and not disclosing although I am upfront about it but when getting closer actually falling in love with someone and someone falling in love with you that is something you really need to disclose and let them make up their own mind. There are plenty of straight guys that can love us but it takes a special one that is extremely secure in his own sexuality. A lot are and a lot aren't. If I was him I would have felt betrayed, lied to and probably felt a little used.

Men are a dime a dozen. We are in charge of you we love to be with. I've posted so many times on TS dating sites, so many men have responded & all want so much detail as though they were in charge. I am the woman & I'll choose what I tell a man or do for a man.

Hold your ground girl friends. Men want & need us more than we need them.

Evolving Beauty,

It's really not about whether they deserve the truth. Whether they deserve the truth is a moral concern for them. It's a safety concern for you. Whether the guy is a hypocrite or fake who didn't deserve to be told is not going to matter if he's beating you with a fire extinguisher (real case). being upfront is more for you than it is for them. In your friend's case, he only dumped her. It could have been a lot worse. And if you're really in the line of work you've claimed to be in other posts, you need to be upfront. You don't want him to find out and get pissed and violent. This is about you and your safety, not them.

Quote from: LittleEmily24 on March 13, 2014, 11:56:26 AM
if you live your life thinking that no guy wants to be with you because of what you are, then you are pulling that experience towards you. Law of attraction.



       

Quote from: stephaniec on March 13, 2014, 12:03:16 PM
It's a curious story. 6 months in an intimate relation having daily contact with that area of the body and never having a hand slip down there is pretty good . as far as wanting to marry the person why would someone want that after having been lied to for so long . Unless  she was planning on surgery before getting married which would mean  going months without having sex and expecting the guy to understand without questioning anything and then expect a marriage proposal.  as far as someone being a hypocrite and a fake.

She always told him NOT to touch that part of her BEFORE marriage due religeous/cultural reasons and as he was a gentleman he respected that and never even tried to touch and that guy loved anal more anyways but was NOT gay nor a ->-bleeped-<--->-bleeped-<-.                       

Sorry, I'm tending to side with the majority opinion on this one. I'm sure your friend had her reasons, but when was she going to tell him? Never? That was never going to have a happy ending, it would have come out eventually (which it did). The guy may have been a cad for dumping her without at least trying to work it through but he was being deceived by her and has a right to feel aggrieved. If you can't have honesty in an intimate loving relationship it isn't going to be a healthy open relationship. Plus, they were fighting so much that the cops were called and they were taken down to the precinct, put in a cell and strip searched? Doesn't sound like a great relationship to be honest.

I hope your friend can find someone who accepts her and loves her, who she doesn't feel she needs to hide herself from.

I don't think anyone has the "right" to know your medical history if you don't feel they should. So long as it has no bearing on their health. So unless there is something like an STD/STI sure, he doesn't have the right to know...

That is my firm opinion, but we do live in the real world, and the truth is, if you are pre-op you will be found out eventually. That could also be a very big risk to one's health as men have been known to be very violent in this circumstance.

I don't think she was in the wrong per se, but I also don't see how she can really feel bad about what happened anyway, after all what did she expect would happen? She got in a bad situation but, enjoyed her time in love, more than she thought about her own safety; there was no way it was going to end well.

I don't see anything wrong with stealth, but you have be smarter about it. The way culture works, it would be an incredibly rare thing for a partner to find there is a penis when one wasn't expected and be indifferent to it. That is just the way things are, and they are unlikely to change soon.

Quote from: FA on March 13, 2014, 01:27:47 PM
Evolving Beauty,

It's really not about whether they deserve the truth. Whether they deserve the truth is a moral concern for them. It's a safety concern for you. Whether the guy is a hypocrite or fake who didn't deserve to be told is not going to matter if he's beating you with a fire extinguisher (real case). being upfront is more for you than it is for them. In your friend's case, he only dumped her. It could have been a lot worse. And if you're really in the line of work you've claimed to be in other posts, you need to be upfront. You don't want him to find out and get pissed and violent. This is about you and your safety, not them.

I back her up cos me and her swing the same style. I'm facing the same situation but in DOUBLE circumtances. I conceal both in a relationship I'm with with a guy who is my housemate whom I'm in love and with my 'clients' which I conceal purely for sex & money. I even needed to stop working on the streets just so that the guy I love don't see me and went to work in a house but there I need to give them a certain % of money while on street all would be just for me.

And concerning safety we girls on the streets are robust mentally. If I have to end up as Gwen Araujo whatever happens happens but I prefer die once than to die inside my heart/head everyday being rejected for what I am.

I'm getting very scared mine knows but it can explode anywhen as I'm not that perfectly passable as my friend, I conceal adam's apple with scarf constantly as we're in winter, in summer I'll die. I need to escape to reach Chettawut for both vagina & adam's before summer creeps in.