Regarding technology helping transitioning: Medical technology has come a long way. Hopefully, medical research will one day kill the psychobable that labels transsexualism as a mental "disorder." That diagnosis just FEEDS the bigotry of society thinking that, "Aha! I knew they were crazy."
Television broadcasting technology has helped and hurt transitioning: It's helped explain our predicament to those who are more open to diversity and they have come to our aid. It's also stigmatized us with shows like Jerry Springer that seek to put the "white trash" of us up there on screen, fighting, screaming and wearing ridiculous scantily-clad outfits on over-sized bodies...things that would ridiculous on a GG.
I once read that Christine Jorgensen, despite being at what most would consider the infancy or dark ages of our ability to transition, felt that, in some ways, she had it easier than us today. She said that, in her days of transitioning, most people in society did not know about that possibility and, thus, she could be more stealth and blend in.
I've said, like some have here in this post, that my trauma is directly related to my perception of how society treats me or people of my kind, TS's. If I was on an island by myself, there would be no trauma...I'd still be happy that I made the choice to have the operation, even if I was the only one that knew about it.
Some in this post have said that they accept being TS as something that just "is" rather than something that makes them feel "special" or "blessed." I feel that way, also but, admittedly am jealous of those who feel like being transsexual is a great positive thing in their life. I don't know if it's just that they're positive generally about everything in their lives or whether religious faith helps them (even though many religions are historically bigotted). An acquaintance told me that, if people feel "blessed" to be TS, perhaps they were being "happily delusional." I responded that maybe being happily delusional in the face of a society that condemns us is a HEALTHY thing. We all need a certain amount of ego to survive. But, in thinking about it, "delusional" is a wrong and insulting word to use because you can be morally and scientifically correct but society can still drag you down to it's own incorrectness. I guess, for me, the posibility of "delusional" entered into my thoughts when I saw 9/11 survivors proclaim that "God wanted me to live." Because I'm not very religious (I believe in a higher being but not in organized religion), the idea that God would select THAT good Christian to live when thousands of Christians died seems, well, delusional. It insults those Christians who died.
Is calling yourself "blessed to be TS" some kind of self-protective illusion? An illusion that helps us to survive? I do understand, more, the argument that "I'm glad I'm a woman." The road, for me, to get there, though, was so filled with ruts and depressions, I'm still shaken and, admittedly, wounded (I'm sorry if this sounds like self-pity but I'm trying to be honest). Maybe, like any traumatic event, some of us undergo Post Traumatic Disorder (oh, dear, another disorder!). But it's not all my fault: I'll live my life as a woman and then, just when I think things are going nicely, HAVE TO REVISIT the TS world when I have to admit to a loved one (prospective mate) things about my gender past. That is something a genetic woman never has to face. I'm still hoping to find some more positive way of looking at it from your posts, so I appreciate your help.
For now, for me, being transsexual just "is." Like water flowing down a river and out to sea, it couldn't be stopped.
Teri Anne
